Hello Aunty Eya, Good evening. What I want to say is the truth, you and I know it is bitter. Please hide my ID.I am a big reader of your blog who follows every post and comments at my free time. When I read some comments on your blog, I feel the wives on that blog are all still very young and inexperienced. They talk like marriage is a bed of roses. Forgetting that it is a
box of chocolates that you never know until it’s opened.
Marriage can be very challenging for some while not so challenging for others. I have been married for 10 years and I can tell you that I do not have High blood pressure because there are a few secrets keeping me moving as a woman and a mother.
I have a little emergency account and do not see any reason why my husband should be told about everything. Yes I trust my hubby but does trusting prevent divorce from happening? Does it stop men from cheating on their beautiful wives?
I do not support a hundred percent transparency in marriage and even during relationships with men. Women keep your lil secrets, save for your rainy day and be truly happy, not fakely happy. I do not condemn those who go all the way telling a man everything. Sorry a man never tells ALL. He does not talk much and still has some things he would never spill.
Aunty Eya let me say this; Before anyone cusses, let her go tell her husband that she carried out four abortions in the University and watch him love her the more. If you support a hundred percen transparency, tell him you had a lot of sugar daddies and Aristos and tell him you have been stirred by 10 cooking spoons already before meeting him.
My advice to all those young wives on that blog? Don’t do a hundred percent transparency. #TruthIsBitterDatsall
Odiegu! Do you agree with her?
box of chocolates that you never know until it’s opened.
Marriage can be very challenging for some while not so challenging for others. I have been married for 10 years and I can tell you that I do not have High blood pressure because there are a few secrets keeping me moving as a woman and a mother.
I have a little emergency account and do not see any reason why my husband should be told about everything. Yes I trust my hubby but does trusting prevent divorce from happening? Does it stop men from cheating on their beautiful wives?
I do not support a hundred percent transparency in marriage and even during relationships with men. Women keep your lil secrets, save for your rainy day and be truly happy, not fakely happy. I do not condemn those who go all the way telling a man everything. Sorry a man never tells ALL. He does not talk much and still has some things he would never spill.
Aunty Eya let me say this; Before anyone cusses, let her go tell her husband that she carried out four abortions in the University and watch him love her the more. If you support a hundred percen transparency, tell him you had a lot of sugar daddies and Aristos and tell him you have been stirred by 10 cooking spoons already before meeting him.
My advice to all those young wives on that blog? Don’t do a hundred percent transparency. #TruthIsBitterDatsall
Odiegu! Do you agree with her?
Let each woman decide what to do with her marriage and husband, if u want 100% fine, if you want 50% fine. Everyone is entitled to dia own opinion! As for me and my household its 100% and nothing less. I trust God to take charge of the remaining years of marriage. Only God can keep and sustain a home, I don't see anyplace in the bible where its written that u shld do this or don't do that. Let the holy spirit lead and direct all our homes in Jesus name,
Spot on. Amen to ur prayers.
@Poster, I believe that what is in the past should be left in the PAST. What would be the objective of telling your hubby that you had x number of abortions in the past or that you slept with x number of men before meeting him.
Just because you keep a little secret from your hubby does not make it right and I don’t think you should make a sermon out of it – to whose glory?
Should you tell your wifey/hubby everything? Maybe not – however, you should be able to tell him/her everything! Before you go telling all the secrets (or holding back the secrets), ask yourself the question; ‘why I’m I doing this?’ In certain situations, you do it out of love to protect the other person as they might not be able to handle the information at that point in time. For example Abraham did not tell Sarah he was going to sacrifice Isaac probably because she won’t be able to handle it and she might make him disobey God. Is that not being transparent? Of course NO!
After you give your life to Christ, He no longer becomes interested in your past… however, He is in your present and future.
Whatever little secret(s) you keep from your hubby/wifey, God will not be glorified if it is done out of selfish interest.
And for all (single & married) – what you sow, you will reap in multiple fold!
I totally agree. These are d words of a long-timer. All d newly weds (3yrs and under) will come now and start decieving themselves on how much they trust and can't keep secrets from there husbands. Blah blah.Come back in about 10yrs and let's know how sweet your mouths will be. The love still dey shack una so ur eyes neva clear.
Smarten up. Always think ahead. No1 said u shudnt love ur oga, just do things sensibly. Weldone poster.
You have things to hide from him. Not everyone does. Not everyone likes hiding things. Some people are natural open books (good or bad).
Your husband is your husband. He isn't like every other person's husband. People react differently to things.
There are no hard and fast rules about marriage. Even if you have been married for 25years. We have people who had spent 7years just trying to study a 5year course who were still duller than those who had only spent 3years in school.
Whatever rocks your boat poster. And by the way, being transparent, actually makes some people 'truly happy', not 'fakely happy'. Again, whatever rocks your boat. Have fun with it.
I came clean with my husband b4 we got married. Yes I had 4 abortions when I was in school and I told him. I had boyfriends and I smoked but when I met Jesus he turned my life around. Yes he was hurt and he cried. I took a risk but it was better hearing it from me than from some would-be mischief makers outside. Today, almost 8 yrs later we are married with 3 lovely children. I thank God. Let the Holy Spirit guide you and he will heal all wounds. 100% disclosure is always better especially in Christain homes. And he also knows about my lil nest egg too!
So more than 10years of marriage, you can proudly say its a few secrets that have kept you going! Oh my, sounds like fake happiness to me. Mind you its not everyone that has had abortions, aristo etc! If you like believe if you like don't, there are many women that marry as virgins and more than date one man and marry him, its not everyone that has had cooking spoon. Its post like yours that make men think women are hiding a lot, let every woman answer her husbands name and do what she pleases, don't come and force your so called truth down our throats. Pls, the only truth I know is Jesus and he only will help marriage, there is a way that seems right to man but the end of it is destruction, to many it many seem like foolishness to be 100% transparent but let my foolishness be turned to wisdom by the most high. Nuff said
Don't forget that you reap what you sow.
Being married for more than 10years doesn't give you the so called experience to tell others how to manage their homes pls. I have seen times when my aunties who hv been married for 15 n 12 years hv given me advice, but when I prayed and thought about it, it would hv been the wrong thing to do, and there are times they advice I pray and follow it, so no one has the experience, we are all learning, what happen to Ngozi may not happen to Ada! Sincerely without boasting I can say my parents are full prove that 100% works, there is nothing they don't tell themselve, even if u beg mum not to tell dad she would, all his asset he takes her to d plot and makes sure the document are in her name, her business, her income she tells him all and askes for his advice, there are times that the goods are seized in the port and he was the one that bailed her out financially, would she hv been able to ask for help if she kept her deals a secret? Even the land she got that turned out to hv a revoke C of O, would she hv asked for help to get a lawyer if she was keeping it secret? Allow the young wives to follow their hearts, if there is any lesson to be learnt let them learn it, but don't make them look foolish, because you don't agree. Mind have been married for 8years and there are occassional quarrels but no reason to keep any secret, even my husband tells me all there is to know, atimes he may not tell as things happen but once he has sorted things out or handle the situation he will always tell me! By the way have not seen any comment by the young wives to show that they believe marriage is a bed of roses and I have been on this blog since feb 2013 but this is my second time commenting. I have even learnt a lot frm all d ladies both singles, young wives, old wives n d men.
I disagree with the poster.
I have not made any comments here before but I think I should respond to this one.
I have been married for 16 years now and I have a happy and strong marriage.
I trust my husband completely and he trusts me too.
We have no secrets from each other. Yes, you read that right.
People are different. We must never make the mistake of thinking that all people are the same because they are all of the same sex, tribe, race etc.
Therefore we should not apply a one size fits all approach to dealing with issues, in this case marriage.
Just because something feels or seems right does not necessarily make it so.
The fact that everybody is doing something the same way does not make that the right or only way.
Let us be careful in what we do or say so as not to lead people astray.
I feel sorry for people that feel that cos they were Aristos' chics and abortion madams, every other woman is like them. Sorry to disappoint you. You are on your own. I still feel sorry for those that feel like cos they have failed, other people will fail. You are not a genius cos u r 10yrs in marriage. Get off your high horse and pick the advice of the women who have been married for less numbers of years and d single ones. Stop gnashing your teeth whenever u feel they r wiser than u. This post wreaks of insecurities. Madam, take a seat and learn, not force your opinions on others. Btw, I'm 12 years in marriage and 100% has worked for me and d hubby.
Abeg make una take am easy with the poster oh. Sofly sofly my country people.
All I'll say it DIFFERENT STROKES FOR DIFFERENT FOLKS.
Wow, a lot of old women on dis blog. 10, 12, 16yrs married. You learn everyday. And most of them come here to quarrel like kids.
*…say is
#lotsofanonymousesonthispost 🙂
By the way I subscribe to 100% transparency.
The 'old' ones do not quarrel like kids.
They do not comment whenever there's so much display of immaturity.
If you check the above comments one said she has never commented till now while the other said it is her second comment.
Same for me.
She used the abortions and aristos as examples. Not that she did them.
Men do not tell it all! They never do! Were we not the people advising the woman whose husband wants to marry a second wife after 20 years of marriage? And She never invested in anything?
I like this poster pro-activeness.
A husband asked his wife what caused the divorce between her parents?
In a bid to be honest, she told him, his mother slept with her father's best friend.
Poster, i agree with you.
we both know what is obtainable in this society: A society that rob widows off their husbands' assets by in-laws. A society, where another wife would surface at his grave. A society,a love-child would come out of the blues. A society a husband would be spending more on his mistress than his wife and children. A society a woman does not get help from anybody when the chips are down rather she is on her own!
God bless you. So they really think their husbands tell them everything. LMAO.
Keep telling yourself that!
@Virtuosity lolz…
Its #team100% transparency o jare! If the person cannot handle ur honesty, sorry, s/he doesn't deserve you. And yes, its not everybody that has loads of secrets anyway.
To the glory of God, there are no secrets with me – I don't deliberately hold back relevant information.
The woman whose husband wants to marry a second wife after 20yrs is not a good example – she knew her husband was doing it…
As much as I'm eager to know the conclusion of the story in the first paragraph, I also just want to let you know that if the conclusion was that the man judged the woman cos of her mum, then he never deserved her. All men are not the same, just like all women are not the same.
That is the society… we should be the change! The devil is the God of this world but in Christ we belong to another kingdom – we are citizens of heaven!
Team100% transparency make una pak well jor
Well said Deborah.
Experience is not the best teacher, knowledge is. That I am married for a month does not mean I am clueless about marriage cos I have seen marriages all around me including my parent's own. There are women who kept secrets and it blew up in their faces rudely! There are those who did not keep secrets and they are going strong. I learn from my mum's mistakes and so far being 100% transparent isnt one of her mistakes. In fact, I see it to be a strength. Apart from what the bible states, there are no hard and fast rules for living your life.
Men dnt tell women everything, does not mean they all do that maliciously. Some men keep things to themselves because they dnt like to talk and see such things as unimportant.
The woman whose husband wants another wife after 20 yrs, when she was 10 years in marriage, I am pretty sure she thought she had mastered men and marriages, and that her method was the best.
Just do what is right.
There are no laid down procedures or manuals to marriage. As our faces are different, so our problems, challenges, successes and marriages are different. While honesty and transparency is good, some people can't handle it. In my opinion, honesty should be subjective. my aunt once told me that 'your secret is your pride' and that is so true. i'm not married yet and i can start claiming that i will be 100% honest and transparent or otherwise just yet till i get to that bridge.
Personally, i choose not to believe that men tell their wives everything. If we will tell ourselves the truth, there is hardly any man who is 100% transparent!!! most married men if not all have off shore accounts that their wives know nth about and other secrets and same goes to the women.
In conclusion, whatever you feel in your heart is the right thing, just do it.
Borrowing Avril Lavigne's lyrics,
Chill out, what you yellin' for?
Lay back, it's all been done before
And if you could only let it be
You will see
………..
But you've become…
Somebody else 'round everyone else
You're watching your back like you can't relax
You're tryin' to be cool
You look like a f**l to me
Tell me
Why do you have to go and make things so complicated?
I see the way you're acting like you're somebody else
Gets me frustrated
Life's like this
You, you fall and you crawl and you break
And you take what you get and you turn it into honesty
You promised me I'm never gonna find you fake it
No no
Life is like an exam d mistake pple mak is copyin oda pple's aanswer nt knwing dat evry1 has a different question paper
A marriage counsellor once told me that u don't tell a man everything. But in d course of my relationship, i told my fiance before everything and at the long run he used it against me. Although we broke up cos of another reason sha, i think if u know d kind of man u marry,then u know what suits u. Note that no 2 marriage is the same.
People are different, what works for you may not work for τhξ other person. Me am ☺ƒ τhξ opinion dat 100% ļş d best option in a marriage. Let's learn to keep Įτ̣̣̥
real, 1ness and openess ļş d best.
Jst gt married 2months ago n I'm learning d hard way… Tell everything my foot..
"Lying makes a problem part of the future; truth makes a problem part of the past"
Poster, from comments here, this is the reason older wives do not speak out.
Married for 2 decades now, i understand you. I recently intervened in a quarrel between couple married for 5years. Her husband made a mockery of her only brother because she told him everything about herself and family.Whatever you tell your husband, know that he would tell his own family when they ask him about your background. If he does not use it against you, somebody in the family would. Not everybody would like you.
Well, like a comment above, do whatever suits you, different folks, different solution. We in the know how can never come here to ask for advice from the net because we can never be taken by surprise by any man.
Learn to leave your personal story out from internet daisy!
You told us you came from a polygamous home.
No wife is ever transparent in a polygamous home.
PLEASE LEAVE YOUR POOR INNOCENT MOTHER OUT OF THE INTERNET CHILD!!!!
You talk too much! Am anonymous 2:03pm. Am angry as a mother would be.
I was the one that commented in SDK, supporting you against the impostor, and asked you to protect your family. See that you have changed your picture, good, also change your name, and LEARN TO LEAVE YOUR LOVED ONES OUT FROM PRYING EYES!
LMAO, please tell them!
GOSH! cannot believe women continue to be so gullible!
When it happens, they rush here crying their eyes out for advice!
Reading further, i quote: 'Men dnt tell women everything, does not mean they all do that maliciously. Some men keep things to themselves because they dnt like to talk and see such things as unimportant.'
My child, from your comment above, you justify a man's action for keeping things from his wife? But when women, does it, it is wrong? Am speechless!
Then,a woman can also see some issues not so important for discussion!
Anon, with all due respect, I'll want to ask you a question. Why is it that it is only when Ahdaisy uses a personal example that it becomes a problem to several people? Why only her?
The poster used her own personal example, no one crucified her, so many ladies who commented earlier used their personal examples, no crucifixion. People comment now and then, Bonario o, Ace o, Deborah Bala, Uncle Johnson, Lizzy etc, some of them, using their personal examples and google accounts with their pictures, no crucifixion.
So why is Ahdaisy's example now a problem to people? Why only her? Be the Judge.
*Drops Mic.
*directed at Anon 2:10pm
Thank you.
Jay, I tire. What they want is to send me away from this blog or the internet sef. Aint gonna happen. I have a right to do what makes me happy. As long as it is neither a sin nor an infringement of any other person's right. I mean even people who write worse things dnt get the kind of attention I get. I even tried commenting when a post is old to see if people could leave me alone. No! Even if I comment a week after, my stalkers must come and attack!
One has been telling me to ask myself if I am the only one on the internet. I have asked myself. I have checked, turns out, we are millions of us. I was surprised! I really thoughtq I was the only one! You mean the world is bigger than a 5 metre radius from where ever I am? Wow! Mind blown!
So pls, those ones that are always after me, ask yourself, IS AHDAISY THE ONLY ONE ON THE INTERNET? Why are you spending all your energy, spilling blood, tears, sweat and sand just to criticize me and bring me down? Why? Once I cough, you are there to examine the cough and bring out reasons why a cough is bad.
Last time I checked, only celebs (big ones) get the kind of hate I am getting. Only celebs get impersonated or have their accounts hacked. Only celebs get their every statement scrutinized and get blogged about!
You tell me to get off my high horse when you have elevated me to the top of a sky scrapper. Lemme help you solve your problem. EXPO: If tomoro nobody cares what the Kardashians do, or what Tuface does, quickly they would become forgotten nobodies. I am not even up to one tenth of them in popularity so my case should be easy! Pls learn to treat me like I dnt exist. Starve me of this attention I so crave, and I will die.
I remember the day I came to this blog. I was so surprised at how everyone related as a family. Finally, apart from my blog, I found a place I could relax and occupy my free time with. Before I knew what was happening, some people felt my life was too good to be true. I had to be pretending. I mean why should she not tell us her problems? Why should she not be like us by being bitter and sad? Who does she think she is? Let's check her profile. Let's Google the s**t outta her names. What? No dirt? Can't be. Let's create some dirt. Let's run her out of this blog so she can stop reminding us of how much evil we commit on a daily basis. She feels like she is holier than the rest of us. Rubbish!
Pls check urselves. Out of the hundreds of people who visit this blog daily, why is it that only two or three of you want to die on my case? Pls ignore me and I'll disappear…
I sincerely thought i can see reason with you, but i think i was wrong.
Jay and Jayde, i apologize, for wasting my time and yours for trying to reason with you or both of you because your names are similar, might be talking to the same person.
Please by all means, continue to do what you know best and ignore my comment. It's your life; your mother and husband, not mine.
But please, know for a fact, i was never on your case, rather a silent watcher, rooting for you, but now, i know better.
Again, accept my sincere apologizes jay and jayde, and do not think so much about yourself daisy, because outside this eya's blog, nobody knows or care who you are.
Have a good weekend jay and jayde.
Anon 2:10. Polygamous home bawo? Hian! I never said such. Pls ma, go and check whatever comment you saw again, maybe it's my impersonator you are referring to.
I refuse to be bullied. Anyone who wants to pry will pry. No be today. My real name is not Ahdaisy Jayde. I have never typed my real names here. I have never put up my hub's pix, so how did people get my info? I dnt have control over people who wants to do CIA. I dnt put any more information here than other people here with Google accounts put. Why do the CIAs even bother? Even Aunty Eya that I love so much, I have not checked for any further info bout her.
I used my rich mum as an example. Anybody who wants to learn from it, should, anyone who finds the info irrelevant should pls stroll by.
About the men, I stated a fact! I am not trying to justify anything. We women like to talk and talk to our men. The men talk too but dnt consider some things relevant. They might tell you casually after some time and you'd be wondering why they dint tell you since. That's just the way they are. It is a fact, not a justification.
And really there are some things you tell men and they also wonder why you're telling them. They feel it's not important and are indifferent whether you tell them or not. #Fact
Sorry ma, for pissing you off. I know ur comments are out of ur motherly instincts. I appreciate that. I get where you're coming from but it's my life to live. I will do what makes me happy. Whatever helps me sleep at night shouldn't give another person sleepless nights. Live and let live.
Thank you
God bless you Deborah.
If you choose to live your life on secrecy, carry go. All man to his own.
Before I married I plainly told my husband I had an abortion coz I just couldn't bear living with such a secret. A friend of mine called me a fool for telling him but same girl went behind me to visit the guy I had the abortion for. So if I kept the secret and tomorrow she or the guy somehow gets a hold and tries to use it against me nko? Even with all that my husband pleaded that it wasn't enough reason for me to reject his proposal since I've confessed to God and acknowledged my mistakes.
To me it all depends on who you are and who you are dealing with. An Aunt advised on that private account ish but we agreed on having our private accounts and maintaining a joint one for the family.
No two marriages are same and so run your own as u wish
Anon 4:04, if you are the one as anon 2:10, pls my first comment was not for you. I understand you and I m sorry if I sounded harsh in my 2nd comment above directed at you. I just finished posting it before I saw your reply. The first comment was not for you. I know that outside this blog, no one cares who I am or what I do, but they should pls, transfer such apathy to the blog so I can enjoy the blog with people hounding on me all the time.
*without people
Please where did the Bible indicate whether or not Abraham told Sarah about sacrificing Isaac?
Anon 4:04: let's make love not war 🙂
I just wanted to draw your attention to a fact which is glaring for all to see. If no one attacks all of the other personal examples of 'My man this', 'My hubby that', 'My father this', and 'My kids that', why should a harmless example of learning from a mum be a crime? I am all for fairness and respect, irrespective of who's in the question.
I recall when a poster talked about the pains her family was experiencing because of her dad's behaviour, so many people used their public profiles with full names to discuss their personal issues. Even Aunt Eya shared her 70 things about me. No crucifixion, cos it isn't necessary.
Also, I and Ahdaisy aren't the same person 🙂 We are two different individuals. Just a little -de difference and first name (Ahdaisy).
Do have a lovely evening 🙂
I beg to difer pls… No two marriages is thesame. what works for u will not work for the other person. Ada might tell her hubby the truth and 2moro,he will use it against her or he would tell his family members and they would use it against her. Ngozi might lie to her hubby bcos shes trying to protect her dignity and 2moro when the hubby finds out,he will send her out of the house cos he would be scared of the fact that she could witheld such information for a long time meanwhile Grace would be truthful to her hubby in all her dealings and be transparent and they hubby would love her for that fact and he would protect the secret like it was his….
For those who think men dont say everything,please if ur hubby dont tell u all,that doesnt mean another person's hubby isnt telling all… there are husbands who prefer to withold such infos cos they dont trust there wives,some keep it to themselves cos the feel its there dignity and pride,some keep it to themselves cos they dont think its important,some do it for selfish reasons cos they dont want wifey knowing all abt them,some keep it to themselves cos they are not they talking time BUT there are men who tell there wives EVERYTHING
So cos ur marriage isnt good doesnt mean every woman is suffering what u suffering. most women are having the time of there life in there marriages,now i'm not saying they dont have arguments but they are happy cos they know everything there hubby owns,they are co signatory to there husbands acct,they are among the CEOs of there hubbys company
So dont use bcos u have been married for 10yrs to confuse other people. some have been married for 30 and they are HAPPILY MARRIED… So let other people figure out what works for them,what works for u might not work for another,dont chase another woman out of her hubbys house cos of ur advice…
@Jay, thank you for being your sister's keeper. We are all family here but that particular Anon comes fighting Ahdaisy in different forms which is really bad. You fight someone and are ready to spill blood. You are never ready to let Ahdaisy be.
Whatever Ada did to you that has made you trail er this long please forgive her. Other readers think there are many people fighting Ahdaisy but it's not true. Just one person coming in different forms. Please sheath your sword and let Ahdaisy live a normal life on blogs like every other person.
Thank you Jay, I used to enjoy the drama but you just inspired me to step in too. If this were happening to me, I would expect other readers to stand up for me. I gat your backs Jay and Ahdaisy. I am going to start responding too on behalf of Ajdaisy cos this is bad. To everything there is a time and season. You haveb fought Ahda every where yet she still reads and lives her life. why not just free her and find peace yourself.
Thanks Jayne *plenty e-Hugs*
We in the know how can never come here to ask for advice from the net because we can never be taken by surprise by any man" is this statement called for? Really! The woman dat was married for 20years nko! Why will u look down on d net and the advice given here? I pray that God doesn't allow your husband take you by surprise! Bcos its the same you that will run here, the horses are ready for battle but victory belongs to the lord, all your little secrets and how you have mastered men won't help! Only God will better understand that fact, lean on him and not on your own understanding
Thanks Jay and Jayne…I'm loving our name patterns… 🙂 so glad I have people like you to always make me understand that the world is not full of evil. Long e-group hug!!!
Abi o the bible says a wise woman builds her home not a wise man
Whatever works for you.
I stand to be corrected but the assumption that women who tell their husbands everything have only been married for a short period is false.
No two marriages are the same, there are no hard and fast rules as far as marriage is concerned.
@jay nd jayne I commend ur courage@defendin ahdaisy,maybe if som of us as stood up againt d hate it wouldn't hv gone ds bad.I introduced my collegue to ds blog nd she is so loving it,but 1 tin she keeps askin is wat is ahdaisy's offence on WC.let lov lead
Adhaisy it is well with you. You will overcome in Jesus' name.
I've been married for almost eight years and I used to be an open book. I would have preferred to be in the 100% transparency club but my husband is a chronic cheat and he doesn't have my back and I am not top on his priority list. His motto is – don't ask me and I won't ask you. This is a man that would keep flare up because I asked him for details of pple he is travelling with for a party in another state. He refused, so I would be secretive if I have to. He is not interested in the truth, I can't have 100% if I wanted to so yes, I will keep necessary secrets and live my life to the fullest.
FYI 100% Transparency shouldn't be confused with sharing information that is not yours to share. The lady that shared about her mum sleeping with the fathers best friend? Naaa. Especially if the mum is still alive..That's the mother's secret…not hers :).
I'm a silent reader of this blog, but feel that I would comment on this issue.
I have been married 30 years + (almost 31 years) with 3 grown children and 5 grand babies. I always tell the younger ones when they ask me what has kept my husband and I together and happy all this while that it's love. Today people are so selfish and think of only themselves. No marriage can be truly happy that way. A life time is a long time to live with baggage and secrets!
I do admit, I'm married to a wonderful man, the best actually. But I learned long ago, my duty is to love and obey, irrespective of how he treats me. I allow God the Father to sort him out. 100% transparency has worked for me. I like to think for him too, but I don't beat myself up about it.
I think just because you've been married for donkey years doesn't make you 'experienced'. We learn everyday. Some women who think they've mastered it all are shocked by the hubby after 20 years and he drops a bomb on them. Just depend on God and not your 'wisdom'. It will ALWAYS fail you.