Times are hard, everyone is affected. When unhappy, do not wait for help to come from DH, it may take a while, try to DIY for your happiness' sake. Calm yourself first. Many more marriages are struggling to keep it together. Stress at work, while shopping, at home and even with our loved ones. Sometimes, we quickly get over every other kind of annoying thing but one cuts really deep, that is when you are upset or when the sadness comes from hubby. Please do not let yourself fall into depression... A young Naija wife died not too long ago. The cause of sickness wasn't known. She just
couldn't feel herself anymore, felt really tired of living and became almost too weak to even raise her hand even though there was no physical pain like headaches or fever or flu. Nothing. Maybe her soul and spirit just gave up even while the body was still living. At the hospital, different tests were carried out, nothing was diagnosed, yet she couldn't get up from her bed and go about her daily life. She couldn't leave the bed and after a while, she got discharged or perhaps asked to be discharged. Family and friends were very worried, her three little kids, all  below 10 couldn't understand why mummy says she is sick but cannot say what exactly is wrong with her. Mummy could no longer make their breakfast or get them ready for school or take them out but she wasn't in any kind of physical  pain. She looked good even though all the energy vanished just like that. One night, they all went to bed and she didn't wake up the following day.

Gossips started flying around from her closest friends, stories start spreading, her problems were emotional, nothing physical. Hubby's sidechick lifestyle, late nights and sometimes emotional abuse started getting to her and the more she complained, the more she suffered emotional torture until her heart probably got too broken, she fell that kind of sick and couldn't get treated with medications. Abroad, she could have gotten help because over there, even emotional ailments get diagnosed and treated accordingly. Here, her emotions continued to be sick until it affected her physical energy and spiritual energy, which got drained and put her in bed until she finally passed on and left those three little kids with the one that unconsciously caused her passing. 

Do not let yourself fall into depression, if all other relationships fail to bring happiness, take a look at your lovely kids who look up to you everyday and find ways to make yourself happy and healthy. Create your own happiness. Do not give anyone the power to be incharge of YOUR own happiness, Take charge, create it, preserve it and make good use of it by yourself. When you are hurt by a husband, especially in these days of I don't know what is happening sef with some Naija men and ex's and side chicks. Take care of YOU. When friends hurt, when parents hurt you, the cut is light compared to the feeling that women endure when the hurt comes from darling husband. What can you do to help calm yourself down?
  1. Play a game on your phone.
  2. Walk away from the scene
  3. Sing to yourself or listen to good (not depressing) music.
  4. Sleep
  5. Shower and spray good fragrances on yourself
  6. Pick beans
  7. Watch your favourite TV programs, if it's Zeeworld, go there. If it's Telemundo, oya go there and laugh very well as you watch.
  8. Keep a radio in the kitchen too so you can listen to good music on FM Stations while cooking.
  9. Read a book, even if you won't finish, just start first.
  10. Workout in his presence as if you just don't care and watch him get distracted.
  11. Dance in his presence, dance anyhow. It gets to them.
  12. If crying before him does not touch his heart, just STOP and dance instead, throw the cry baby 'you' away and take on the strong happy woman  face even though it's hard, just try and the dance will sure do something to him.
  13. Stop crying to gain his sympathy else very soon you develop eye problems. Help your eyes, pity your sight and keep the constant tears away.
  14. Cook yourself something nice and eat with your favourite drink.
  15. Do not use malice or The Silent Treatment to try and hurt him because it will hurt you more. The earlier you two break the silence and talk, the better for you.
  16. Take the kids out and have a great time watching a movie at the Cinema, having fun at the park or just having a fun picnic, that will help clear your head a little.
  17. Don't talk rubbish to try and get him angry because that won't help you.
  18. Don't call him names as that too won't help you
  19. Don't hit or attempt to hit him, even if he doesn't get violent physically, it won't help you.
  20. Do not let the matter linger. If he falls asleep in that manner, let him rest a bit before waking him up to talk. Tell him you 'want us to talk about what happened in the morning' and do not let it turn into a fight. Watch the way you wake him up; your choice of words can make or mar that singular moment. Watch what you say to him. Do not come off too strong, self righteous and offensive. Do not start by saying sentences like" YOU did this' YOU started it all' YOU always do this' YOU are such a wicked man' YOU are so mean and heartless'
    Don't you wake somebody up from his sweet sleep and start with the blames else, you put him on a defense mode and that won't end well. Try your best to talk calmly, use your self-control-remote-button and say your mind the best way that you can so you make him talk. Once he starts talking, you win!
     If you are the cry-baby-wife, when he starts talking is the time to bring out a tear and make sure he sees it drop. You win!


  1. Great tips. Thanks for sharing.

    1. You are welcome. Thanks for stopping by.


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