Saturday, May 14, 2016

Someone Help Me Know The Kind Of Person My Fiance Is

Hi ladies. I really do enjoy. This blog because I've learnt a lot from people's experiences,yet I have my own unique issues with my man.
This is how it all goes. We have been dating for a year And 3 months now and he
proposed to me in December 2015. This guy has access to every of my stuff that requires a password,yet I don't seem to have any of his.Am really nt in d habit of prying tho,so it's not been much of a problem to me.

But in all of this,I came to realize something about this guy.  He's always very self centred. He spends good cash buying quality stuff for himself but when it has to do with me he just picks up some rags for me and Aba shoes that I never get to wear,yet he was the same person who told me I had a great taste for wears n can combine wella,n that was one of the catches. Just yesterday when all these minor things I'd overlooked came ruminating, I decided to complain to him about it. His response was "I suggest we should give ourselves 3 days to decide if this relationshp will stand or not". I was shocked  by this,and said,so 1yr and 3months have been period of some sick jokes,n it's now you want to ascertain? My beloved W.C members,for what I know, a man who sincerely cares about you will feel a lil remorseful n not tell you this. But if I am wrong,plz dnt hold back. 

I call his mum once in a while,  I assist his siblings financially but this guy has never put the 1st call thru to my siblings or mum. I really luvd him before the full thot went thru my mind,from nowhere. We wake up in d morning to go to work n d 1st thing he does is all for himself,not "us". We get back from work and the first thing he thinks about is "himself"not "us". What kinda love do we call this? I honestly cannot live a life time with this attitude,but if u know a better way out plz advice me.

One last request. Plz how can I access his whatsapp on my fone without having his fone on me? The only tym he keeps down his fone. Is when he has cleared every chat. Plz. I want to knw who am with. I really doubt my fiance. Somebody plz help me cos I feel so down about the whole situation. Thank you


  1. From your story, you already know the kind of man your fiance is but maybe you still hoping that he'll change. You just described him to us. That's who he is and it's either you can cope with that description or you cannot. Deleting chats before leaving his phone freely is a sign that something is fishy. Do you think he is being honest with you? Is he using you? Does he really want to live forever with you or he has had enough and looking for ways to dump you and move on to the next lady? After over a year, he might just be trying to be diplomatic and nice until you move out unaware that you too have seen that he is not a "family" type of man. If it's not in him, it's not there. He loves himself, self centred and thinks only about himself is not a good description for a husband to be .

  2. madam eya, how are you & Family? I have a problem, my boyfriend proposed to me, I accepted his proposal, but, I think he's cheating on me and his ex wants to come back. I need advice on what to do pls.

  3. I don't think you can access his WhatsApp on your phone, I think you should be able to access it on your laptop that's if you download the what app for desktop and then authenticate it using his phone.

    The decision to really go on with the relationship is yours to make. I remember way back when I was in one relationship like that, this guy was possessive and controlling, maybe because he knew I really cared about him then, we had the usually issue one day and I made my case known to him, I wasn't going to be quiet about it again, and guess what he told me. He said he feels we need to give ourselves a break to reevaluate the relationship. I was shocked nd hurt and guess what I told him. I said if he wants a break, I will give him a vacation and that was it for me. He taught I was joking, he wasn't expecting such a response but mehn, I was done!

    So I don't want to judge him but I feel he is most likely sure he can treat and talk to you anyhow and you will still take it humbly. What you will not take when you are rich na from when you are poor you will reject it. First of all, I think you need to change all your password and be in control of your life! If he is insecured about that then that's his business because right now see finish as entered but then again, the ball is in your court

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  5. AnonymousMay 14, 2016

    See finish. Why live with him?

  6. AnonymousMay 14, 2016

    I agree with Eya, you already know, you're just hoping someone can tell you that you're just imagining things. I've had friends come and ask for advice like this... With their own mouths they will say all that is wrong and one wonders why they are still asking for advice.

    You need to break up with him and find somebody else, marriage is not your ultimate aim in life, it is just a part of life, if you go ahead with this guy, you will be marrying an expectation. Marrying an expectation is not something you want to do.

    Think about it, read your post and pretend its your friend asking you for advice, what would you say?

    At least before marriage some guys pretend they care, they do the utmost in trying to woo you. This one is even helping you by showing his true colours.

    He's selfish
    He doesn't care about what's important to you
    He wipes messages before you get to it
    You complain and the first thing out of his mouth is pretty much saying you can leave if you want.

    Do you need more evidence, or do you want to know what will happen when you get married? Marriage highlights the negatives I've heard, don't marry a flaw you won't be able to stand for the next 60-70 years of your marriage.

  7. Babes lemme strt from ur last request up. U don't need his whatsapp please. It's not important. Den secondly change your passwords na. Lastly a broken relationship is better than a broken marriage. If u feel what u seeing now u can't live n manage dem den make a PlanB. The way it all seems he knows u love him far more than his love for u dts y dt his reply was dt shocking. Wisen up. Don't b inside water and allow soap Hurt your eyes. All d best

  8. Young lady, do u still need more red flags that the guy in question is fed up with you since you are already living with him and committing fornication when he has not paid a dime on you? How do you think he will take you seriously and a trustworthy wife material when he has had enough of you?

    Can't you see the handwriting on the wall that, very soon, with a very flimsy excuse, he will jolt you with "I'm through with you"? Why are you co-habiting with someone who has not officially and appropriately married you?

    You made yourself cheap already. Learn your lesson, repent and right the wrongs!

    1. AnonymousMay 16, 2016

      Pastor Abbey, are you saying that in cultures where no bride price is paid, everyone there is committing fornication?

    2. @ Anonymous, bride price is the consequence of parental acceptance in Niaja culture. Globally, parental acceptance of a husband to-be is the prerequisite to being married. So if you have not approached the parents of your wife-to-be and fulfill the requirements according to their culture, you are not married.

  9. You have known him already. Yo don't need a soothsayer for that. It is not too late to retrace your steps. Why are you living with him without being married?


    1. Legally married according to the law of the land. However, u have kidnapped somebody's daughter by not fulfilling the traditional requirement which is the primary thing to do!
      Sisi: ask yourself - someone takes your daughter to court and gets certificate joining them as man & wife without getting your consent, would you consider them married?