My New Year Resolution To Confess What Happened Between My Friend's Husband And I

Happy New Year Aunty Eya, I have a confession which is part of my New year resolution.  It's a long story but please, bear with me. Delete my details before posting on the blog I beg you.
It started some months ago. I have a friend, my best friend in fact, got married recently to a guy (that I had not known. They had dated for a little over a year, but he was in The States. She travelled to meet him and they quickly tied the knots secretly in an oyibo way. I had seen pictures of him and had even chatted with him online with her (they met online sha). He was cute to say the least, but I didn’t give it a second thought. I was, after all, married to a man that means the world to me. I love my friend dearly and really was just enjoying watching her get to know this guy, and seeing her happy was great because I know the heart breaks she has suffered in this country with useless unrealistic "boys"

 Okay, he returned home two weeks prior to their wedding here in Naija.  They want to also have a Nigerian wedding where family and friends can attend and celebrate too. My friend was so excited and wanted all of us to have a big celebration dinner and party. The party was to be at my house. Okay, (my best friend) and her hubby met my husband and me, as well as several other people, at a local pub for the dinner ( club kind of) here in Lagos.  We all spent the next 2 or so hours in the pub eating, drinking, laughing, and having a great time. I was fixated on my friend's husband and I knew he knew it. He didn’t seem to mind at all, and on more than one occasion tipped his beer mug to me and winked. We were not really any closer than 10 or so feet from each other at the restaurant (we sat on opposite sides of the table, and down from one another some). We all were leaving the pub to pile into our cars and head to our house to continue the evening, when he motioned me to exit the restaurant before him by holding the door open for me. As I passed him, he took his free hand (the hand not holding the door open) and lightly brushed my hip as I passed. I casually turned around and there he was winking again ( I'm telling you the whole truth Aunty).

I didn’t know what to make of it, but I knew that I was dripping wet thinking about him. Driving home I made a conscious decision. I told myself that I would test him to see if he was being a nice guy and harmlessly flirting, or if he had ulterior motives. I want to say that I was going to test him for my friend’s benefit, but the truth is I wasn’t going to tell her regardless of the outcome. I wanted to know if I had interested him the way he had me. They arrived at the party shortly after I did, and we all were gathered out in the back yard. In the course of the initial small talk my husband offered to show him our house. Our house isn’t huge, but it’s two stories and he loves to show off his garage and modern bathroom. I spent a few minutes with the girls, and then excused myself to the upstairs bathroom, telling my friend that I wanted to get out of my dress and into more casual clothes because I was cold. I also knew that the upstairs bathroom had a vent that allowed me to hear everything in the garage so I knew when they would be coming out of the garage and heading upstairs on the house tour. 

I listened to my husband and him talking about him being over in the Statesfor a few minutes and the sound of his voice intoxicated me further. I felt like a little girl with a high school crush, but I also felt like the conniving bad friend to even think sexual thoughts about a guy my best friend was marrying in a matter of days. They finally came in from the garage and headed upstairs. I had not yet changed, and when I saw them reach the top of the stairs I acted surprised and told my husband that I wanted to change clothes and have a few quiet moments before returning to the party, but that I didn’t want to be rude to our guests and asked him to go downstairs and let everyone know I’d be back shortly. I also asked that he be the good host and mingle with all of our friends until I got back. My husband readily agreed, not suspecting anything, and as he turned to head downstairs , our guest was behind him, but looking at me still. He could see me, but my husband had already gone down enough stairs that I was out of his sightline. I motioned to him  to return to the upstairs bathroom in 5 minutes. He got what I was motioning him to do, nodded in agreement, but followed my husband downstairs.

It's not easy to do bad things .....Now I was a nervous wreck. I had laid my cards out and was waiting to see what he would do. The few minutes passed like hours and I was almost sick to my stomach, but when he casually climbed the stairs and rounded the corner he looked at me and walked into the bathroom and closed the door, but didn’t latch it. I walked over and looked out the window and saw my husband and my friend and several of our friends laughing and drinking. My husband had taken up the role of bartender and She was sitting there with others just enjoying the drinks and the atmosphere. I knew I had some time to steal.

I walked to the bathroom and pushed the door open enough to slide in. I shut the door behind me and said to him, “I don’t know what I’m doing here, but no matter what, no one can know I’m here with you.” 

He then said, “I’m good with that” and smiled at me again. 

I had changed into my sweatshirt and didn’t have a bra on. He could see my nipples poking through and knew I was turned on. He moved towards me ans I was leaning against the door.

I had to stop him before it got out of hand that night, but I told him that I would be home alone the following Monday during the day (when both my husband and his wife were at work). I wrote my cell number on a piece of toilet paper with an eyeliner brush (of all things) and gave it to him. 

He said, “To be continued then” and slipped out of the bathroom.

I was shaking in my knees for several minutes before I could gather myself enough to go back outside. The rest of the night progressed without incident, and I knew I had all day Sunday to both obsess over what could happen Monday or convince myself to be a true friend and not follow through. That Sunday, fear no gree me go church, I stayed at home the whole day living in a fantasy world.

Monday morning around 10:00 am my phone rang. I answered it and of course it was him. He asked me if my husband was gone for the day and I told him yes. He said that my friend was gone all day as well. I asked if he really wanted to go through with anything and he said he was more than willing, if I was and if it could remain our little secret. I paused and mentally answered ‘no, no, no, no, no,’ but all of a sudden I heard myself say “My front door will be unlocked” and I cut the call immediately.

45 minutes later he again walked up the stairs and saw me standing in the doorway to my bedroom. I was wearing a one-piece night dress and nothing else. 

I will not go into the gory details, but suffice it to say he did things to me in ways that no man has ever done before or since, not even my dear husband.  I do not regret what has happened so far, but I know that in an instant many worlds could come crashing down if this doesn't stop. I need forgiveness but not from my friend because she doesn't know and will NEVER.


  1. Anonymous1/15/2016

    Ashawo like you. Wide and sweet is the road that leads to destruction.

  2. Monique1/15/2016

    What can I say?
    1. You are not mature enough to be married.
    2. You are not wife material, you do not understand the meaning of commitment.
    3. Thank God you have not mentioned children! you are not mother material, and never will be. Don't have kids,you will only wind up hurting them and making sad sick people.
    4. How would you feel if you found out that your husband had been sleeping with your best friend? PLEASE FREE YOUR POOR HUSBAND. you can get a divorce, dump your former friend and screw her cheat of a husband. Do not apologize to your husband, you intended to betray him? Just let him go, FREE HIMMMMMMMMM.

  3. Momtastic1/15/2016

    USELESS WOMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  4. Anonymous1/15/2016

    I think what you did and do to your friend is by far the absolute most selfish thing I can think of. I mean my god you are the most heartless person I can think of. Not only do you cheat on your husband (which I will get into more in a second) but you are consistently backstabbing your friend everytime with her HUSBAND. I would say that your friend deserves better but honestly you already know that. And even though your husband cheating on your lying sneaking self would be fit punishment I honestly hope he's a devoted faithful husband so you can feel like the piece of crap you are for doing what your doing. Obviously you've never been on the receiving end of being cheated on otherwise you might know who's life your messing up. I hope it does come crashing down on you but for their sakes I hope they never find out cause that is some pain that doesn't go away. Hope you are feeling proud of yourself. You've ruined 4 lives in the name of lust.

  5. Do u love your husband?
    It is clear that all that man wants is to have sex with you on the side and not disturb his stable life with your friend by shutting your mouth. I don't know about you but he seems to have cheated many times and he will continue that way.
    But what do you want?
    do u want this to continue like having only sex and hurting someone who means the world to you for a stupid womaniser? yes he is bleeding even if he doesnt know.
    atleast have the decency to go out of your home to some hotel.
    Idiotic mammal

  6. Johnson1/15/2016

    Well written piece for a movie... I know how this movie will end - tragedy!


  8. Anonymous1/15/2016

    She will NEVER know???
    Wrooonnng. She will know and very soon at that.
    She will disgrace you, your home will break(because I doubt your hubby will take this lightly as he will frustrate your life and get a new wife) and she will dump that grumpy scallywag she calls husband.
    You are a piece of trash and not fit to be called Mother.

  9. Anonymous1/15/2016

    U are a disgrace. Loose ashawo of the highest order without any shame. Accept it or not this it friend husband will not have any regard for u. Idiot

  10. Kindly tell your husband to divorce you and marry a real wife.

  11. HBD aunty Eya, God bless you.

    Hmmmmm.....I can't believe you are asking for forgiveness. You have clearly stated you dont want forgiveness from your friend. Who do you need forgiveness from then?

  12. Anonymous1/15/2016

    My frustration with you is that you do not seem to regret your actions, ur more worried about telling the world what you have done knowing very well what our response will be. My sincere advice to you will be to sit down and evaluate what you have done, get a job, boredom does a lot to the mind and pray to God this stays a secret forever but stay away from him, delete his number and focus on working with your husband to achieve a satisfying sex life like u stated that u did with ur friend's husband.

    At poster congratulations for satisfying your lust desires OKAY!!!!!!! Let's wait on for KARMA. I pity ur husband n poor friend dt think u a good person

  14. First of all, I'll applaud your writing skills, it was as though I was reading a movie script. Now to your epistle. Are you bored? Do you feel low most times in your marriage?
    I really don't think apologizing or telling your friend and bla bla bla will do you a world of good. I think that you have completed the first step of acknowledging your wrong, now, you have to work on yourself and ask God for forgiveness. Second thing is, there is nothing hidden under the sun, so, you should also pray that your sexcapade doesn't blow up. You see...sometimes as human beings, we lay down one tiny thing and give up the bigger picture. Yes, marriage can become kind of monotonous but it also needs discipline. You need to learn from now on, to discipline yourself to the desires of the flesh.

    For exciting stories, visit

    1. Funmi akande lawal1/16/2016

      Best reply so far...All others commenting might have gone through worse situations..That She had the guts to write it out to me is enough. Talk to ur God dear lady.. Ask for forgiveness.. It shall be well

    2. Anonymous1/17/2016

      Can't you guys read where she says she does not regret her actions? So why would she care about forgiveness?

    3. Anonymous8/04/2016

      Sensible response @ Adaeze Writes. No one should judge her. Yes, she doesn't seem sorry for what she's done, probably still doing, but don't judge her.
      Marriage ain't beans o...that's no justification for her actions. She mite be lonely, bored sexually, mite be married to a guy that can keep malice for years on end, a man that sometimes has a heart of stone....
      This (as wrong and disgusting as it is) might just be what she had to do for some form of relevance and to feel good, you never know.

      My point being, don't judge her.
      Pray for her.

      @Poster, ask God for 4giveness and grace not to continue in it.


  15. Anonymous1/16/2016

    My prayer for you is that your friend finds out and disgraces you and her husband fights to keep their marriage and they work things out and your husband sends you packing. Silly ho

  16. POSTER1/16/2016

    Just Imagine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! shame on all you judging me while doing much worse in secret. you don't even have the guts to come clean like I have done yet you are here running your mouth over me. #hissssss

    1. Madam u said u don't regret ur actions, so exactly why are u confessing? If this story of urs is true and u really do not feel any remorse, then i tell u, u will meet ur waterloo very soon. Many have done wrong in their lives, but live with regets and will do anything to undo their mistakes. But u do not seem to care about hurting ur husband nor ur so-called best friend. Yet u expect us to clap for u. Go ahead and enjoy urself then; but ask ur self why u sent this in. Maybe u have lost ur peace? That is only the beginning. What goes around comes around. No one can ever build happiness on a foundation of someone else's pain. Remember that

    2. Anonymous1/18/2016

      Poster who is judging you? You are breaking up 2 marriages with your selfishness and you are complaining here. Why won't you be judged when you clearly can't see that what you are doing is wrong!!! I'm sure this is not your first time. You won't allow that poor woman enjoy her marriage. So because yours is messed up you want to ruin another persons own abi??? I hope your husband kicks you out. If you don't want advise then don't post asking for advise. Ashewo 2 kobo

  17. POSTER1/16/2016

    I lie people like Adaeze writes. even you Anty Eya, my husband should divorce me for what?????

    1. Anonymous1/17/2016

      Ehnnn because you are a shameless, cheap, un-remorseful, backstabbing, evil, conniving, UN-REMORSEFUL whore?!

  18. Anonymous1/16/2016


  19. Anonymous1/17/2016

    For cheating na. It is the only grounds for which God permits divorce.

  20. Anonymous1/17/2016

    He who is clean should 1st cast a stone! Even God would not rain all these abuses on her nobody deserves such comments, I expect you to correct her with love and let God be the judge. .

  21. Stop misquoting. We aren't casting any stones here. We are saying it as it is because she is in denial as to what she really is. No one is perfect, but our consciences judge us. This woman lacks a conscience and deserves a dose of reality. If u were her hubby or best friend, would u be this 'loving'? Maybe u haven't been a victim before. I bet u would be singing a different tune towards this heartless person. I pray she finds her conscience where she lost it though because she is headed towards a gloomy place

  22. Anonymous1/20/2016

    Thank God you don't have kids yet otherwise I don't know what they will possibly learn from you regarding discipline.To err is one thing and to acknowledge your mistake and departing from it is another thing.The later is very important.Iam not judging you but from your narration it's obvious you openly flirted before him and then he took advantage of the opportunity presented before him.As a married woman, you should learn to respect yourself, your husband and your marriage.
    Don't ever think your friend will never know coz the bible says that whatever that is done in the dark must surely come to the open.
    Adultery is a grievous sin, it gives eternal sorrow and pain and damnation. Seek for God's forgiveness and make up your mind that you will never desire any other man other than hubby.If he doesn't satisfy you sexually, two of you should talk it over and find lasting solution. Endeavour to be a decent wife. Thanks

  23. Anonymous1/22/2016

    It is obvious this poster lacks conscience. Nobody us without sin.but for a grown up to do a thing like this is shameful. This is a man u hardly know and meeting almost for the first time.let's call a spade a spade. U are a loose , irresponsible ashawo. Idiot.if u don't like it go and hug a transformer. I am personally not perfect but will never do a thing like this with my friends husband and on my husbands bed and house. Where is ur respect for your husband and ur decency as a woman?


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