My Husband Thinks That Sex Is Not That Important, Any Advice?

Hello bloggers, I am a 25 year old ardent blog reader and have been married to my 32 year old husband for over 2 years now. When I started dating him I felt like I finally found the guy that I have been looking for for my whole life. I am a sexually active person, love sex, I think it is important part of relationship and had amazing sexes with my exes.  But after all the disappointments I suffered in their hands, I decided that my next man will have to wait until after marriage. On our wedding night we were both too tired, so some days after the wedding, I realized that our sex drive level is so different and before marriage he was honest with me, he told me that he is never crazy about sex and I was already contemplated to break up but he is such a great guy, and I was never as happy as I could be with anyone else but him, all my previous relationship failed because I chose the wrong character and here I have such a great guy so I decided to stay with him and thought that I could give up some degree of sex.

 When we met I was in Kaduna but even before I met him I knew that I wanted to leave Kaduna, because that place made me stress out but I stayed for him, everyone thinks we are a great couple, everything is great but
when it comes to sex, it's not. He rarely initiates, he always said tired and I was rejected too many times and he left me feeling lonely. We never had french kiss because he doesn't like wet kiss, we never cuddled after sex, we never had sex before bed time or morning sex when we wake up, he always went straight to the bathroom to clean up right after we are done, he never made sound or even look like he was horny or enjoying the act. We never had foreplay. I could say, this is the worst sex of my life,I tried to talk to him twice about it. Telling him how important it is, but he would get angry and said that I sound desperate or saying why does everything have to be about sex? And so I gave up initiating it.

The 2nd year, he still thinks everything is great but I hold all the thoughts to myself. I started crying every night but also because I hated where we live and wanted to move to a more relaxed peaceful town before I met him. I started feeling numb, I am not sure if It's the relationship or Kaduna anymore. He thinks everything is still great, I think we have a great friendship but the lack of sex changed my feelings toward him. There is no emotional connection or passion. We are just best friends who have sex when I initiate it. I got so depressed that there was no passion left in my soul, I started to fantasizing about it all, I am an artist and it is important for me to be passionate. I know he loves me and I want to try to talk to him, and try to change things but I always think there will never be a way to talk about this to him because he already think that sex is not that important. Any advice? Thank you.

Comments

  1. Anonymous1/25/2016

    You are going to age very quickly o. It looks like he's got a sort of "lazy" temperament. Unfortunately, such people never change and the best way for you is to break up if he doesn't feel he needs to respect your feelings and desires and change for the better. Imagine what will happen in a couple of years! You'll have to hold back all your passion, you'll start quarrelling for no reason and you won't be able to raise children while being just "friends". Passion is an important base for the future development of relationships. Talk to him frankly and if he doesn't accept what you feel, you'll have to break up. You'll still be able to meet him as a good friend, to share feelings and ideas, but not your bed anymore. Get yourself some help outside and be happy.

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  2. Anonymous1/25/2016

    You are not alone but since you are married you have to live with it

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  3. Anonymous1/25/2016

    It is well but sex is not food.

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  4. Johnson1/25/2016

    Hmmmm. If it’s the other way round what would the man do?
    As long as he is physically & manly okay, don’t get frustrated – initiate sex randomly and at different time (morning, afternoon, night) and at different locations (bathroom, kitchen…). You need to work this man before the children start coming as this will take the space.

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  5. Anonymous1/25/2016

    This is not OK. By the look of things it seems you both have not got children. U are still a young woman if he is not willing to change this is problem. With this attitude of his, how r u going to get pregnant and raise ur own children?. Is he gay but trying to use u to hide / disguise his real sexual identity. if he is not willing to change, u might consider an amicable breakup to enable u to move on with ur live and hopefully marry a man who will share the same passion with u. Goodluck

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  6. Anonymous1/25/2016

    This is a big problem.You have to sort this out before you get children:-)
    You are still young.There is no need of living such a life.

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  7. Anonymous1/28/2016

    I am 31yrs old been married for six years. I use to have a very active sex life before I meet my husband. DH does not initiate sex up till today and most time whenbi do he complain of been tired. He doesn't cuddl

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  8. Anonymous1/28/2016

    He doesn't cuddle or do romance, he goes straight and under five minutes we are done, no other style except the missionary style,once we are done within thirty seconds u hear him snoring. I have lived with it and will continue to hope he will change for better, if he doesn't I am prepared to live with it and enjoy it that way without even thinking of looking outside, God forbid that I cheet even if he does I dont care as long as he protect him self. He is good in every other aspect so I am happy with my marriage, I have a son and still trying to conceive,may God bless my womb this month, may HE grant my desires this year

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  9. Anonymous1/28/2016

    He doesn't cuddle or do romance, he goes straight and under five minutes we are done, no other style except the missionary style,once we are done within thirty seconds u hear him snoring. I have lived with it and will continue to hope he will change for better, if he doesn't I am prepared to live with it and enjoy it that way without even thinking of looking outside, God forbid that I cheet even if he does I dont care as long as he protect him self. He is good in every other aspect so I am happy with my marriage, I have a son and still trying to conceive,may God bless my womb this month, may HE grant my desires this year

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anonymous1/28/2016

    Your hubby is GAY...#closetmuch

    ReplyDelete

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