This Drama Started When My Parents Gave Outrageous Wedding Bills

Hello Eya'
Pleaseeeeeee hide my details!
I want to commend your great work, you are indeed a blessing. Ma I am getting married in four weeks and at first my fiance and I were excited. We dated for 8 months and it was amazing, simple and beautiful.

 He is gentle, disciplined and loving, His dad dotes over me. We were (or are) our answers to each others prayers and we decided to get married. No spectacular proposals though, we both knew what we wanted. 

The drama all started when my mother gave us the wedding bills, it was grossly outrageous and way beyond his budget. He kept his cool though and simply said what he could afford. 3 months to the wedding when he went to my family house, my father gave him a verbal dress down just because he hadn't booked anything yet, things like he acts like a woman and maybe i am the one to cater for our family, so many horrible things i wouldnt want to say.

 My Dad said so many demeaning things to him and i was scared he was going to call the relationship off but he kept his cool and we were alright. My mum kept doing one form of annoying thing after the other simply because my fiance decided to contact most of the suppliers we would need to negotiate an affordable deal. My mum is a control freak and now acts weird simply because the guy doesnt seem to be a puppet.

One day, he just snapped and stopped being nice and gentle with me. He seemed to be pouring all the bottled up anger meant for my parents on me and its all new to me. He didnt call the wedding off though, he has been paying and booking for stuffs but his loving nature seems to be elusive. He snaps at me at every little thing and blames me for my parents actions, He doesnt call me anymore, neither does he chat with me when we are online for three weeks now. His parents and siblings are all preparing for the wedding though and his siblings told me to relax that its just the pressures and tension.

Am scared, does this normally happen during wedding preparations, is it that he is scared that i may turn out just like my mum and so wants to break me or its just the tension that making him act this way?. He has tolerated alot from my parents though but does he love me less now? I miss his loving nature.

I need an urgent answer please.
Worried wife to be.

Comments

  1. Anonymous11/18/2014

    My dear sit your parents down and tell them the truth about what your fiance can afford and what he is capable of doing. Let them stop all these there pressure on him and should even assist the guy if they see that the weight is too much for him to carry.

    I hope you are not painting a picture that your fiance is capable of doing things he cannot? well from your letter you sound mature than that.

    Abeg talk to your parents and when you do and the pressure from them normalizes,things with your fiance will fall back into place.

    Wishing you a blissful married life.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous11/18/2014

    pressures of life often bring out the best or worst in us. don't ignore the way he is behaving. you will face many issues in life so if he stops treating you well under pressure that is not a good sign. call him for a face to face talk. explain how you feel and tell him you need him to reverse course. then watch if things change.

    he can blame your parents but at the end of the day, he is responsible for how he treats you

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous11/19/2014

      Excellent point and observation!

      Delete
  3. Anonymous11/18/2014

    Madam what were you looking at when your father was insulting your husband, this story reminds me of my parents story, my mom's people said all sorts and did all sorts to my dad before and after they got married then because he did not have money or he did not have what they felt he should have (story has drastically changed though) but my dad never took it out on my mom and my mom always cautioned them and even spoke back when it was getting too much. if you really want to marry this guy you need to talk to your parents when they are washing him down this would let him know that you have his back. i would not like it if my inlaws were being disrespectful and my husband is just looking like mumu i would lose all respect for him

    ReplyDelete
  4. The best thing is for you to let your parents know your fiance's capability. www.alabekee.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  5. Parents sha. They can be one kind. I remember when I was going to get married too. The list they gave my husbands people nawa. They didn't complain at all but come to think of it all this our tradition self. With all my husbands people bought all they gave me was just 2tubers of yam*straight face*
    Why do parents push their children to the wall?
    Please poster sit them down and talk some 'sense'(pardon my choice of words) into them. Let them know you will be the one to live with your husband afterwards o. Wedding day is just A day max 2days(trad and white)3days if court is inclusive. Do they want you to be drinking garri without sugar and groundnut afterwards?
    I'm not saying they should give you out for free but biko they should be considerate.
    I will prefer it if u spend that money on honeymoon self than spending it on buying stuffs for relatives.
    bottom line TALK TO UR PARENTS.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Parents sha. They can be one kind. I remember when I was going to get married too. The list they gave my husbands people nawa. They didn't complain at all but come to think of it all this our tradition self. With all my husbands people bought all they gave me was just 2tubers of yam*straight face*
    Why do parents push their children to the wall?
    Please poster sit them down and talk some 'sense'(pardon my choice of words) into them. Let them know you will be the one to live with your husband afterwards o. Wedding day is just A day max 2days(trad and white)3days if court is inclusive. Do they want you to be drinking garri without sugar and groundnut afterwards?
    I'm not saying they should give you out for free but biko they should be considerate.
    I will prefer it if u spend that money on honeymoon self than spending it on buying stuffs for relatives.
    bottom line TALK TO UR PARENTS.

    ReplyDelete
  7. U have 2 talk to your parents . This man is going to be ur husband and they need to treat him with respect. Ma dear u also have to prove to ur husband that u've got his back. So stand up for him. He is trying so hard not 2 disrespect ur parents. Better speak now and shush them up b4 they destroy ur home.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous11/18/2014

    my dear poster, yes u need to talk to ur parent but u need to talk to YOUR MAN. he shouldnt treat his new bride to be that way. establish communication bases now, let him tell u his mind, frustrations and all, cos later in marriage, when issues come up, na like dis he go dey dey?

    ReplyDelete
  9. Anonymous11/18/2014

    Sorry to deviate from the post, I need help. Please if you have used aliexpress άήδ had your items shipped to Makurdi please drop your email let me contact you...thank you!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anonymous11/19/2014

    Eya, pls what happen to recipe on this blog? All I see on this blog lately is question n answer(tales). Bring Originality back to wives connection o. Anne.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Anne,
      Eya is tired of cooking, please help her out!

      Delete
    2. Not that I'm tired. When I start cooking again I'll post please.

      Delete
    3. You can follow this link to find any Nigerian food recipe you are looking for:
      http://www.wivestownhallconnection.com/search/label/wives%20connection%20recipes

      Delete

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