How Do I Handle This Demanding Type Of Mother-Inlaw? So Confused

Good morning WC readers. I have been married for some years now and i love my husband very much. The problem is his mother. she is just too demanding! he has two young siblings who are still in school and an elder brother who has stopped  helping the family.

Despite husby's struggles to set up his mum,she always squanders the money.he also gives her monthly allowance,stock d house with food yet they still want more.i am not against him doing all that but what makes me angry is that the mother likes to party ehn,aso ebi here and there which husby pay for. she loves party to the extent of asking husby to pay for party first before paying his siblings school fees. 

what makes
me to seek for help here is that all this is getting me angry as it affects me and my children greatly and besides, husby is a struggling man who doesn't even have enough to feed his immediate family yet,his mum doesnt even care if he eats or not as long as he brings money

There was a time he didn't even have shoes/sandals, i had to use my little earnings to buy for him and i had to drag him to a boutique to force him to buy clothes for himself as most of his clothes are either torn or turned white from over usage.
pls WC,advice me on what to do. 

Comments

  1. Agatha Christi2/09/2014

    So to say it but ur husband has misplaced priority. Sit ur hubby down and explain that things cannot continue like that. If you give ur mom all your earnings the way he gives his to his mom, how will u people cope? Try and make list of all you need to run your home before his salary comes (including savings), after meeting that he can than give whatever is left to mil for asoebi. This is probably the reason why the elder brother is not helping out.

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    Replies
    1. Agatha Christi2/09/2014

      *Sorry

      Delete
    2. Anonymous2/09/2014

      Very spot on as she has said! That's one good way forward. Make the list and budget even to house rent sef, divide annual rent by 12. So you'd get monthly fee for that, and savings too o.

      Delete
  2. Anonymous2/09/2014

    im so sorry about that kind of mother in law oh, but what to do is hard oh. does she have a husband?
    maybe u can report to the husband. cos if u tell ur husband, he'll read another message into it.

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    1. Agatha Christi2/09/2014

      Ha don't go there o, report her ke? You want it to trend that you don't want her son to be giving her money.

      Delete
  3. My sis, just pray that God shld open his eyes nd help him prirotize.if you try to come in, he might be of d opinion dt you don't like him supportg his mother and men loves their mum. So, pls just close your eyes to it nd pray God meets all your needs. You won't lack anythg ijn. Trust God to sort it out for u

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  4. Anonymous2/09/2014

    What you should do is talk to your husband, both of you should come to an arrangement, its better to speak ur mind . God will helps you from this kind wahala.

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  5. Anonymous2/09/2014

    Prayer is the key my sister

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous2/09/2014

      Faith without works is dead. so please give her better advice other than just prayer no be by force to comment

      Delete
  6. Ur hubby needs 2 put his foot down. He shld tell ha 2 buy ha asoebi frm d monthly allowance he givs ha. U hv 2 giv him a gud talking to. Let him rememba 2 sav 4 his own old age too.

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  7. Unless your husband does something about it, it won't stop. All he needs to do is talk to her - it seems she spends money on unnecessary things. What's the worst that could possibly happen if he stops giving her money? He needs to understand how this is affecting the family

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  8. Anonymous2/10/2014

    It srems the in law is trying to get to the poster who is the wife. She knoes her son is not single. So lets say oneday u give her the equivalent of one month salary and tell her thats it for the next 6months? Them see the new story that will come
    I think husby must recognize he is being used by mother




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  9. Anonymous2/10/2014

    *seems *knows *then

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  10. Anonymous2/10/2014

    U need a talk wit ur hubby.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Anonymous2/10/2014

    At the end of the day the most important thing for a woman is self sufficiency. I really don't think there I such you can do since hour even prefers to spend on hus mother than on himself. A wife that discourages the husband to spend money on his family particularly his mother is always frowned on.
    It's always good for a woman to have her own money. It checks a lot of things.

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    1. Anonymous4/21/2015

      My case is very similar to the poster's. I am self sufficient and even earn a lot better than my hubby, even after his family exhausts his earning,they expect me to bring mine to meet their needs. They pester me with calls and demands,it reached a point i don't even pick calls anymore, that brought issues cause they reported to my husband that i don't call or pick their calls or even call back when i see their missed calls.there was a time mother in law advised we open a joint account etc. Meanwhile my own family never demands from any of us instead they give us. My husband has been brain washed into believing that i am supposed to cater for all his mother's needs since i earn more.My Mother in law once told me she is not suppose to need anything , i am supposed to take care of all her needs(I have never heard of anything like this before). Mind you his mother collects the house rent yearly from the flat he built in his home town without making any returns. i have just barred their numbers and hopefully this issues has been solved.

      Delete
  12. Anonymous2/10/2014

    If u tell him how u feel he mite misunderstand u wheneva ur salary comes in tell him u want to send all to ur parent n sibling that things r tough with them do like dat for 2 to 3 months then dnt spend a dime at home just act broke he will get d massage cos he realise dat all d house expenses is now on him.

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    1. mrs anon4/09/2014

      In fact... u get am. Cos its dicey. The husband may never forgive her and will most likely misunderstand if she she complains. Men and their mum's no be joke o. I speak from experience. Just pray seriously for God to open his eyes and then act broke like anon said and see what he will say.

      Delete
  13. Anonymous2/10/2014

    Anonymous 12:36 Na you get sense pass, 100 likes for your comment

    ReplyDelete
  14. Anonymous2/10/2014

    Have a heart to heart talk with your husband in a loving manner, when he is in a good mood and not stressed out. Make him understand that you love his mother but that sucumbing to her every financial demand over frivolities is harming him and his family. Both of you should make a monthly budget which should include savings and mama's monthly allowance. Make him realise that you both need to save for long term assets like land and developing property for the children.
    Let him know that providing the allowance for mama and seeing his younger ones through school is the priority and not other frivolities. If mama asks him why he has stopped paying for these frivolities, he should tell her that he has started a developing property (yes claim it by faith), that should shut her up or does'nt she want her son's progress? Before all these pray my sister, the Lord will give you the wisdom and favour you need before your man and will also make your mum-inlaw come to her senses.
    Take kia.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Anonymous2/11/2014

    pls talk sense to ur hubby. Excessive spending is folishness. I knw d brother inlaw and ur mil wuld be calling him a fool at d bk. Abeg dat must stp. He can gv his mum money but nt 4 unnecessary thngs.

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  16. Anonymous5/02/2014

    I think you pray before calling your hobby to talk bcos its only when God is involve that everything will go well. Aside that satan will continue to increase the problem. May God see you through these.

    ReplyDelete

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