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My Husband And Malice

Hello anty eya,pls I need advise.I have been married for three months,we dated for about 5Years.my hubby is fond of keeping malice,when we
have little misunderstanding,he stops talking to me,doesn't eat @ home.he's alws been like this and I can't stand not talking to my partner for long so I alws break the silence.yestd morn,he woke up before me and washed our dirty clothes.

when I woke up,I asked if yam & egg is okay for breakfast and he said yes bt he's nt yet hungry.so I decided to sweep,while sweepin,he closed d guest room & I opened it cos d sittin room was dark.he said I shld open d main door and I said am only wearing T shirt so I pushed d room door and he got angry dat he was abt opening it.I just kept quiet & continued sweepin.I made bfast & he refused to eat,he works in d hospital so he left for work & didn't come bak home til dis morn.he came and had his bath & left.

I cooked rice n told him there is food,he didn't answer me.I stroled to d hospital dis even and tried talking to him,he just walked out on me that he doesn't have anythn to say to me.pls did I do anytn wrong?cos am tired of dis attitude.if u see us wen we are nt havin issues,we are lyk romeo & juliet.pls WC wat do I do to stop dis attitude???sorry for d long epistle.

Comments

  1. Judith.2/02/2014

    One of these dayz if he upsets you, keep serious malice with him so that he will know what it feels like to be ignored. Maybe he will learn to adjust his attitude, he just enjoys the fact that you always try to make peace.

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous2/03/2014

      @Poster,pls don't listen to dis kind of advise if u want to remain happily married!am sure Judith is not married.its one of d early phase of marriage which u will overcome by Gods grace.it happened to me too,it became worse wen I listened to this type of advise from pple who re not enjoying half of wat I'm enjoying.but I thank God dt today,we now understand each other very well

      Delete
    2. Judith is different from Judith O. Ooooo!
      Just thought I differentiate #wink
      Judith O.

      Delete
    3. Anonymous2/07/2014

      Anon 8.23pm has said it all. These are initial trials you face in a marriage. As a matter of fact, this may continue until after two years when both of you will become used to each other. In my case, i threatened to end the relationship but today, when hubby n I look back and remember our 'silly' days, we just laughed and thank God for grace to continue. Pls continue to tolerate and as much as its within your power, speak to him about how his behavour is affecting you. gudluck!

      Delete
  2. Anonymous2/02/2014

    i'm sorry but your husband is either very childish or is having an affair and is looking for silly excuses to stay out and not eat your food

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  3. LNC White Range2/02/2014

    GBAM judith has said it right. At a second thought, I hope u don't talk to him with impunity, because this may prick him. U may never know when u sound harsh to him anyway. Let me not forget to say that you have done nothing wrong with the situation u explaind above.HML

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    1. Anonymous2/02/2014

      Bravo lnc, u have sumed the matter, my mum would say **Amata ahara wu uto di na nwunye**(overlooking flaws is the sweetness or bond of husband & wife)

      Delete
  4. I guess your husband is either first, last or only son. That's their way, they like petting.

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  5. Anonymous2/03/2014

    If you dated for five yrs, why cudn't u sort this issue wit him? It's not lik it's a new development on his xter. Have u tried talking with him? You kno ur man wen he's on a happy mood. U cud bring it up as a playful discussion. You never know, he may not not know dt part of him disgusts u.

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  6. This situation is most likely the early marriage blues. Hang in there. It will only get better with time as you both get to understand each other more.

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  7. Anonymous2/03/2014

    Poster:thank you all.he's the first and only son.I have talked to him over this issue severally & he alws promise to change.@julith,I will try your method.thank you all

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    Replies
    1. Johnson2/03/2014

      He will not be able to change by himself... it will most likely be a futile effort and will compound the whole situation. The solution can be found in Christ and His Word. Listening to the right messages and striving to do them will help. The good thing here is that he’d acknowledged this challenge, so the problem is half solved.
      On your part, be the good wife and try not to provoke him… but e no easy o - man/wife must have challenges. When these challenging situations come, ask yourself the question, ‘what will Jesus do?’ You have glorious years ahead of you – don’t let the devil spoil it for you.

      Delete
  8. Anonymous2/03/2014

    @judith,sorry for spelling ur name wrongly.

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  9. Anonymous2/03/2014

    My hubby used to be like this, he probably still is but I won't find out because I made up my mind to follow peace. He is a wonderful man but we all have our flaws, I guess this is one of his. I used to try the method of keeping malice as well to make him see how bad it felt my dear we spent a whole 2 weeks without saying a word to each other! I finally went to meet him o!

    There are many legitimate things to have issues over, I don't think this is one of them. Some peeps may say stand your ground, don't let him cheat you but my dear, marriage itself can be considered unfair to some parties if we want to be logical.
    As long as he doesn't drink, smoke, womanise, beat you or is unloving to you please learn to overlook some things. If he starts don't let it fester, immediately you notice make conversation sharply. He will be forced to talk to you even if he gives you one liners as responses, don't be discouraged.

    I feel he is a good man because you said he washed your dirty clothes, this is a rare thing to do for African husbands.

    If it is petting he wants, give it to him it won't harm you, it would even make you happier. Gradually he will adjust because of the love you are showing him. This has been my secret for the past few years and and I am having a blast in marriage.

    God Bless.

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous2/03/2014

      Awwww my dear,thank u for this advice is as if u are talking directly to me cos my hubby dosn't smoke,drink a lot,can say 70% that he does not womanise,caring but any little harsh word he uses on me pieces my heart like an arrow that I will not like to talk to him for days.

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    2. Anonymous2/03/2014

      Anon 9:17 is right. My husband used to be the same way. He's the first, and is so spoilt. I always make sure we don't go to bed without talking. In the beginning, I didn't know how/didnt like to cook, so I would be happy when he was carrying face. But, I came to realise that being happy in my marriage is up to me. When he tried to carry face, I would go and hug him, or get in his face somehow. As he tried to push me away, he would start laughing. Everyone that knew his sulkiness still ask me what the secret is. It's simple: I love my man enough to say I'm sorry even when he's so obviously at fault. It even makes him laugh now.
      Ps: I'm doing all this, and my husband does not know how to boil water, talk more of washing our clothes. Yours does, and I'm so jealous.

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    3. Anonymous2/03/2014

      Reading thru dis story makes me smile cos I was once in ur shoes,I'm still facing it too but a little bit better cos I made up my mind to b his mother and probably d mature partner,believe me it works.
      I do kip malice wth him too at first but I realize two wrongs don't make a right.though its not easy but wth d word of God and His grace,I decided to make my marriage work
      The funniest thing is dt ur husband might love u very much but they re still our babies,so pet him,give him his respect always,and ull bring out d best in him.cheers

      Delete
  10. Anonymous2/03/2014

    @ johnson,like u said,its not easy like u said,I apreciate..annon:9:17,thank you vry much for all u have said.thank u anty eya & fellow WC.

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  11. Goodmorning anty Eya n my great W.C people. I want to respond to my sister's complaint about her hubby's life of malice. I think in my own opinion I'll advice u have a conversation with him when u guys are in your good mood.Ask him why its alws like that and I believe he'll be able to open up to you. But on d other hand,I'll advice u to pray about it(bfr u speak to him) and tell God to soften his heart enof so he doesn't flare up,n also to give u wisdom required to speak with him in d right manner. Goodluck.

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  12. Anonymous2/03/2014

    my husband did same to me once, after the 2nd day of him rejecting my food, i stopped cooking, i didnt push him to talk to me cos i figured he probably needed space and i also let him be so he'll miss me a bit. well it worked, after a week, he could no longer keep the silence and he broke it and that was the last time. carry on as if u dont care, stop cooking but still greet him and stuff, gist ur usual way even if he ignores u, talk on the phone alot and laugh with your relatives, friends and others, he'll change with time when he sees he is not getting the desired results

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  13. ignore him he needs alot of growing up to do.find something else to keep you busy and remove your mind from his nasty behavior like films.i assure you he will eventually come around.naa today

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  14. Anonymous2/03/2014

    I can't thank u all enough.am vry vry grateful for all ur advice.I have spoken to him @ length.I will keep doing my best.@ anon 9:17,THANK U.@Rino & fruitfulkitchen,God bless u both.am grateful to evry both that contributed.

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  15. Anonymous2/03/2014

    Aunty Eya please do something about all these spelling errors in the posts. Some of us are struggling to understand what the poster is saying

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  16. Anonymous2/03/2014

    Did I read this correctly? The man washed all the dirty clothes? He sounds nice!

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  17. Anonymous2/03/2014

    Hmmm! Dear poster ur own is moi moi! I av bin married for 8 eights n my husband still Kips malice for a month or more, except I decide to end d malice if not na till thy kingdom come. It use to bug me before but now I have developed thick skin, I don't even send him at all at all. With time you will come to understand how men behave. At d beginning, I was always worried just like u, but now I av 4 kids, I am more than contented! He can carry malice like load on his head if he wants. When e heavy am, he go offload.

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous7/08/2014

      I love your style. I have been married for 10 years and my only son overgrown baby believes in mallies, I didnt grow up like that so I always made peace even when he is wrong. Now am tired as well, abeg this life Is to be enjoyed. He even kept malice with me just after I had our baby, I completely ignore him and carry on with my kids. It also gives me d liberty to do as I wish ..hahaha. Dont let any childish boy with personal issues mess up your happiness. As you said, na im carry load for head.

      Delete
  18. Anonymous2/03/2014

    Hmmm! Dear poster ur own is moi moi! I av bin married for 8 eights n my husband still Kips malice for a month or more, except I decide to end d malice if not na till thy kingdom come. It use to bug me before but now I have developed thick skin, I don't even send him at all at all. With time you will come to understand how men behave. At d beginning, I was always worried just like u, but now I av 4 kids, I am more than contented! He can carry malice like load on his head if he wants. When e heavy am, he go offload.

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous2/07/2014

      You got me cracking with laughter! "when e heavy am, he go offload"!

      Delete
  19. Anonymous2/03/2014

    @anon 8 07_fuck off if u can't read what d poster said.am sure u have neva had issues bothering u.WE understand.cyber bully.shegiya

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  20. Anonymous2/04/2014

    In all dt u av to do pls dnt stop cooking and serving his meal. If he doesn't eat continue to cook and serve so dt he wouldn't tel d world dt u ar starving him.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Anonymous2/04/2014

    In all dt u av to do pls dnt stop cooking and serving his meal. If he doesn't eat continue to cook and serve so dt he wouldn't tel d world dt u ar starving him.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Anonymous2/05/2014

    I have been married for 3 years and my first year was hell, My husband was the Queen of the Malice Galaxay. He could keep malice for the most random reason. He will completely ignore me, reject and food and then bond with his dog.
    I used to feel so bad, i would cry and feel so sorry for my self and then move around the house like a widow. I would still cook anyway and serve his meal but he will gladly ignore me and my meal. Did i mention that he will move to the guest room? oh yes!
    I had tried severally to have a conversation in our happy times but no way, so one day i decided to wake
    up and smell the coffee. He tried it one more time and before he started to give me any attitude, me i started the malice, moved his things to the guest room, and found a number of happy things to do within the house. I made sure he was home and i made his best soup ever, i just made sure the smell was harassing his nostrils and i was chatting loudly on the phone half the time describing how nice the food was lol!(kai see childishness o)
    Anyway to cut the long story short, it did not take 3 days before he was broken and he actually came to beg me.
    I will tell you what i did extra though, i did not stop praying in my closet. I kept speaking to God and telling Him exactly how i wanted my husband to be and He is a prayer answering God - He answered much more than i asked for. right now i have a man who practically worships the ground i walk on. We still have our moments but trust me it always gets better when you invite God into your home.
    I wish you the best.

    N.B. I prayed the dog out of his life - he got tired and gave it out but till today he doesnt know it was me cos i settled it on my knees. Like say na another woman we go kuku understand, no be me and dog go come dey compete for my husband attention.

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous2/12/2014

      My sister you too funny o. I must have cracked a rib or something. You for still thank God say na dog no be woman. At least he sulks within the house. I think he is really sweet.

      Delete
    2. Anonymous3/21/2014

      Hahaha a beg I get Belle o... This kind laff no fit me now...hahahahaha

      Delete
  23. Anonymous2/05/2014

    @ anon 5:15,u got me laughing abt praying out d dog.thank u vry much.God bless

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  24. Anonymous2/08/2014

    My hubby does dat. Wen I see he is dere. I just call him his nick names and start hailing him. Then he starts to laugh. Who get power for malice. I don't even bother. Life is short. Just give him his second food too. It works for me

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous7/08/2014

      You haven't met a proper baby husband, he wont eat, well maybe the day it was cooked, even when you say sorry he will act ad if u are a piece of rubbish and take days on days to accept, he will rather sleep inside the bin than on the bed with you, he will use the kids to spite you....the list is endless. Abegi! Let's leave story, best thing is to ignore them when they start. They have personal issues. No be d woman go suffer am please.

      Delete
  25. Anonymous2/25/2014

    Mehn!am loving this blog.pratical issues of life....

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  26. Anonymous7/02/2014

    I got married in 1998 (I was 18 years old). My marriage is arranged marriage. My husband starts cheating on me 2003. I was very upset of course I had a big fight and he promises me that he will never do that again. I took his words and stayed with him. Then I found about his sex affairs in 2010. He never stopped. By 2010 I had 3 children with him. I demanded divorce. Of course another fight. I involved his family and my family they said to me all the men’s do that. He will stop and since I have 2 daughters it would be better if I stay with him. During those years our relationship sucks. We were at point where I will crave for sex and if I ask him he will insult me and he won’t do it. I start thinking about other men’s. I got at the point where all I want to have is sex. Thanks Allah I did not commit any sin. In late 2010 we started consoling. Consoling helps our relationship.Now he will still not come to me but if I ask he won’t insult me anymore and that was once in a month if I get lucky twice a month. A month ago I found out he has been with other women’s and he never stopped cheating on me. My oldest one is 7 years old and my middle daughter is 5 and my son is 3.I don’t know what to do. His family and my family is saying the same thing again that one day he will stop. I should be more pation with him. Since I have 3 kids and I am 30 years old no one will marry me. If I leave him and find other men I will bring a shame to my family and will ruin my children’s life. and one of my friend also advise me to use spell on him long time ago wish i refused before, when i saw that thing is getting bad every day, so i want to search for spell casters online i found a lot of wonderful things DR,Airiohuodion is doing for people out there having different kinds of problem so i explain all my problem to him and he help me out to bring back my husband out of his problem, right now will are together even more than before we started. if you also heed his help contact him direct at: airiohuodiontemple@gmail.com thank you once again DR.Airiohuodion

    ReplyDelete

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