How Do I Advise My Dear Friend?

Good morning ma,pls help me post this.

Hello WC readers,pls I need to advise a good friend of mine latest this weekend to get this burden off my chest. And yes I am happily married that's why its difficult cos although I know her so well I also dnt want it to come off as if am not happy 4 her. I am very very happy 4 her,and actually want the best 4 her. I don't want her to make any mistake concerning this and probably live to regret it later on(God forbid).

Ehen,now the story in details! She just got engaged to a guy shez been dating 4 over 2years. Prior to that,my dear friend has not been very much happy with d way d relationship was going.. Lemme just call d guy an introvert and my friend the extrovert! She practically have initiated evry move/step in their relationship starting from dating to 1st kiss,to lovemaking(eehm preachers, abeg dnt judge,no be evrybody sabi hold body). So back to my story,infact d only thing she didn't initiate was the proposal. the girl complains they don't  talk, just very random stuffs,she can't even laugh at his jokes cos most tyms they seem off or somehow childish.. They've never even talked about marriage or should I say the fantasies they have about it( I hope someone understands me sha) but d main tin is there communication is poor like she says. They both live in different cities so I actually thought the communication shuld be very much ok.

The main issue is that she is confused,and I don't want her to continue trying to manage or mend the relationship cos I believe in marriage communication is key. I don't know how long she is gonna do that without getting frustrated. Marriage is a sweet thing with d right person and I know no one is perfect. If she has an issue,she can't think of calling him 1st or evn discussing with him...

Please how do I tell her to handle this before she makes a mistake and we both will regret it(cos I definitely will if I dnt play my part as her friend).

NB; As always if u have nothing good to say,pls move to the next post...Thank u!!

Cute-mom-2-be

Comments

  1. Tell her exactly d way u wrote it on d post. Let her knw that ur only reason for telling is because u love her and want d best for her.. Let her knw dt marriage is enough wahala on its on.. then coming to add the wahala of not being with d right person (like u said), she won't be happy! Talk to her as a friend and let her knw ure afraid for her and what her future home might be like. A broken engagement is far better than a broken marriage.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Please sit her down and talk to her about how you feel. Since she trusts you enough to confide in you about her fears, you can equally tell her your fears for her if she gets married to this man. Communication is so important in any relationship.

    You could tell her to have a heart to heart conversation with him, after which she should study him for a while to see if there is an improvement.

    If there's none, she might have to leave the relationship now while its still easy to. Love alone is never enough. You have to connect with your partner on so many levels

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous8/02/2013

    I'm nt sure dr can be any improvement of such; d guy is an introvert; dt is who he is; but I have learnt opposite attract in a relationship; d question is can ur friend cope? I think d problem we often av is knowing what we want and going for it; avg dated for more dn a year; can she boldly say ds is what I want; if d answer is no; guess is better n easier to quit now dn later; sure d guy will find his type so also d gal whn dy move their separate ways

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous8/02/2013

    I'm nt sure dr can be any improvement of such; d guy is an introvert; dt is who he is; but I have learnt opposite attract in a relationship; d question is can ur friend cope? I think d problem we often av is knowing what we want and going for it; avg dated for more dn a year; can she boldly say ds is what I want; if d answer is no; guess is better n easier to quit now dn later; sure d guy will find his type so also d gal whn dy move their separate ways

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous8/02/2013

    I'm nt sure dr can be any improvement of such; d guy is an introvert; dt is who he is; but I have learnt opposite attract in a relationship; d question is can ur friend cope? I think d problem we often av is knowing what we want and going for it; avg dated for more dn a year; can she boldly say ds is what I want; if d answer is no; guess is better n easier to quit now dn later; sure d guy will find his type so also d gal whn dy move their separate ways; MrsAjaryee

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous8/02/2013

    Cute whatever,u are very lucky if not for comment gating I for finish u.onye uchu onuku odeku

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous8/02/2013

      Finish her for what? Mumu, ode! If u no get anythg to say, dnt write! Must u? Even animals know their boundaries! But u wey be human worse pass goat! Pple seek advise and some pple like u thinks its time to play God! Are u that perfect? Didirin

      Delete
  7. Anonymous8/02/2013

    This same rude cute-mum-2-be. Rolling eyes. Very soon she'll start abusing people that don't agree with her.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous8/02/2013

    Pls just tell her how you feel about the relationship, the truth hurts at times!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Johnson8/02/2013

    I don't see an issue with being introversive... Is it that this guy is not intelligent enough to have conversations or the discussions (gist, gossips, etc) are outside his area of core competence? For a man that is able to know when to propose - he is still a man. He might need to learn one or two things about marriage, which I think can be arranged. It's easier to get an introverted to open & loosen up than get an extrovert to slow down. Marriage is not a union of 2 persons with same/similar attributes!
    What qualities/qualification is your friend looking for in a husband? Let her do the assessment, provided she's looking for the right things...

    ReplyDelete
  10. Cute mom 2 be,
    Have a talk with her and bare your mind on the issue at hand.

    If she goes ahead, it will get worse(not trying to be pessimistic) because she will keep intiating things.

    Has she ever complained to the guy in question? If she has and still no change, let her change lane.

    IMO, the only thing that will make a lady continue dating/courting even to accept such a guy's proposal is if:
    1. She's under family or personal pressure to get married
    2. She's waiting and hoping that the guy will change.
    3. She feels no man will desire her.

    Communication is key in marriage and not just communication but EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION in which both understand each other's language.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Anonymous8/02/2013

    Cute mom to be, I really don't believe this story of urs, becos u sound so rude from ur write up. I wonder hw it'll look like in real life. Hw I'm I sure that u jst detest this guy and u're definitely looking 4 means to push him out of ur friend's life? If we hear 4rm ur bestie's side of d story, I sure say na anda tn we go hear...Next abeg. Aunt Eya pls post this oh.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Anonymous8/05/2013

    i tink you really av to tell her, she will understand u mean well for her. i have a friend who was in a similar situation somtimes ago, i called her explained and told her she couldnt continue with the relationship, hers had even degenerated to the extent that the was beating her and she dint tell anybody until i called her to talk to her. even with the beating she was still so reluctant to let the guy and the guy wouldnt let her go either. i had to involve my mum cos i know my mum is about the very few pple she would listen to, and my mum started encouraging her until she was strong enough to tell the guy away. now she is happily married with a cute baby boy and she is always so thankful for what God used me to do for her. so abeg if u know she is ur friend and u love her, make sure u do everytin u can for her to be happy cos which ever way it goes, it will affect u

    ReplyDelete
  13. Godchic8/06/2013

    Just know whatever u endure during courtship only gets worse in marriage.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Feel free to email me with comments, suggestions, recipe ideas, or pretty much anything! I love hearing from you and I am always excited to receive a comment or email from a blog reader.
Contact Email: cuulme@gmail.com

Most comments are by blog readers. Always seek Professional Help First.
“As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.” When readers purchase items through links on this blog.
- Eya Ayambem

SHARE AND PIN THIS POST

BLOG VIEWS