Would You Adopt A Child? How Do I Convince Him

Hello Aunty Eya and WC blog family, how are you all. I wish you the best of the remaining  2013.
Please people, I need your advice. I am a mother of 6 girls in my  forties. I just clocked 43 last month and suggested to my husband that we celebrate his own birthday at an Orphanage and start making plans to adopt a brother/s for our daughters. 

I didn't like his response, he was so negative saying that what if we adopt an armed
robber's child, or a baby with lunatic blood (madness) in his biological lineage. What if the child discovers his biological parents in fute and leaves us etc

I was really disappointed in him because he refused to see reasons with me. I am not ready for another pregnancy in my 40s but wish to give him a son. How am I even sure that another pregnancy will produce a son? Although he is not bothered right now, what about the future. I do not see anything wrong with adopting a son to carry his name but he has refused to see reasons with me. Please I need advice on how to convince him. 

Besides, someone said that his family may bully the adopted child in his absence (in future). Is that possible. I need advice from the family pls.

Comments

  1. christy21:41

    Well I c reasons wit him bt life is all abt taking risk. Am sure if u pray ceriously abt it God won't allow u guys make d rong choice of armed robber blood.lolss. Well all I can say is still talk to him sha tho such tin involves his family in a way bt PRAY n FAST for steps

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous21:44

    Madam you have 6 girls i repeat 6 girls. Unless your finances can bear to feed another child then fine. Adoping is a great idea but you already have 6 wonderful kids that need your love and attention. Dont adopt a child you cannot cater for and protect from future abuse o

    ReplyDelete
  3. God will select a child of your own from the adoption home. Pray, ur hubby will come around.

    ReplyDelete
  4. God will select a child of your own from the adoption home. Pray, ur hubby will come around.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Fyn Ijebu Chic05:43

    Na wa oooo! Ohun owo mi o to, ma fi gangan fa!!!
    Must u adopt? U av 6 lovely children already. Ur reason for adopting beats my imagination sef! Like seriously, jus bcos u need someone to bear ur husband's name in future. Wat if d child doesn't like the name and decides to change it. No be pple dey change Bankole to Banks.
    Madam, pls go home and care for your children. Like one of neighbours will say, God has given u future insurance, invest in it well so dat u can be well insured!!!
    Let pple who want children jus for loving 'em sake adopt!!
    Summary of my story: You don't need convicing ur hubby since he is comfortable wit the gender of ur children( some men prefer female). Adoption is nt a bad idea bt it must be done wit d ryt mindset.
    #my 2francs opinion#

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous07:55

      I agree with fyn ijebu chic. Your motive for adopting doesnt seem right. The person u r adopting for- to bear his name and have a male heir doesnt want it. IMO, give it a rest pls.

      Delete
    2. Gbam!
      My thoughts exactly!

      Delete
  6. Chiomz07:55

    My parent have just 4 of us...all girls n der not complaining, my dad is d happiest man on earth and he doesn't v any regrets. While we r happy as a family, our external families r piting us and begging dt we adopt a son. But my parents aint interested not dat they r against adoption but they don't understand why they should adopt a child when they already v 4.
    But on a personal note, i love d idea of adopting. I don't mind adopting one or two babies when i get married. I just pray to God 4 an understanding hubby.
    I think ple over rate d idea of adopting to when one is childless or has just a particular gender of kids. But dats not suppose to be so. It should be a way to express love, giving back to the society.
    @poster...u v to pray about this with ur whole family, talk about it with ur husband and children. Your not in any position to say u wanna adopt a male child for ur hubby cos u aint God. Ur household has to understand what adoption entails and d kids n hubby has to agree to ds mutually not by manupilation, so that they will all love that child with a genuine love, d love of family.
    And to ur hubby, make him no that homeless children r also gifts from God, we aint any better from them, the only difference is that we v ple to cal family. It doesn't matter the circumstances dat any of us r born into, we cud turn out wateva way choose. We should all pray for our kids to turn out the right way. #hope i made sense anyway

    ReplyDelete
  7. Dear poster, life is simple but we complicate it for ourselves. Leave ur husband alone and focus on the kids you have. The problem now is that you have put the idea into his head, and though he doesnt want it, he will be feeling like he is missing somethings ginormous in his life. He has six beautiful jewels who are as good as 6 boys or 60 boys sef.

    Even if you have enuff money to raise 20 kids, use the extra to help kids out there who need it. Keep visiting orphanages and help out. No need to adopt one since ur hub doesnt want.

    but seriously, do people still care about the sex of their kids? Now that women are even doing better than some men? Even Igbos that have been known to do that now accept and enjoy female kids (investment tinz...hehehe...) I think you should pray that God gives you rest of mind and the ability to accept lack of a male child.

    ReplyDelete
  8. ahdaisy is right. you also just reminded me of my mum. whenever she sees me says " MY INVESTMENT!" LOL

    ReplyDelete
  9. Anonymous12:01

    Abeg, let's be realistic, we r still in Naija & dependn on d part of d country d poster is frm, male chdrn r still important. I knw it's only God dat gives chdrn but i think she is worried dat if she doesnt adopt a son now, in future her hubby may succumb 2 family/societal pressure n desire a son thus giving room 4 a strange woman 2 cm & reap whr she didnt sow.
    @Poster, if it bothers u so much, pray n kp talkn 2 ur hubby, if eventually he wnts a son, hopefully he'll agree 2 adopt.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Cyndrella12:27

    @ Poster i feel u and i really understand ur plight,but the motive behind adoption matters a lot in ur own case is it for selfish reason or a way of giving back to life?.

    if u must know the adopted son will surely be mocked by family members,relatives and neighbours even ur our children especially if the boy becomes a man and want to take up political post or wants to claim "what belong to him in his fathers house" He will be cautioned by family members and the cat will be let out.You must know that our society is not a civilized one in that regard.

    Please obey ur husband if he kicks against it,adoption is fun to do when every member of the family welcomes it.

    Moreso,don't make ur children feel that they are not accepted because of their gender,it could lead to hatred.

    My aunt bahaved in this manner long time ago but eventually got 2 boys but the problem is that the 1st son joined cult while the other boy joined bad group and can steal a whole being now my aunt got struct with stroke because of their wahala and the girls are the ones caring for her and her husband has disowned those boys.

    You now see vanity at it peak.most wanted now became most feared.

    please be wise.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Anonymous13:30

    Where is my comment na... Aunty eya, I didn't cuss anybody oh... I need my comment concerning this post abeg...

    Patsy

    ReplyDelete
  12. Anonymous13:31

    Where is my comment na... Aunty eya, I didn't cuss anybody oh... I need my comment concerning this post abeg...

    Patsy

    ReplyDelete
  13. Anonymous13:31

    Must U adopt? U have Six Wonderful Queen and u still think a boy will do have u forgotten that Teni Teni Te kisa ni ta tan........Wot is mine is Mine.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Anonymous13:53

    If u really want a malle child, calcullate ur menstrual cycle if its 26,28 or 30days. Just divide by 2 den ur ovulation shd fall on d 13th,14th or 15th day respectively depending on ur own cycle. Start counting day 1 frm d day ur menses begins. hope dis works for u, bur its proven to be 90percent effective. I ppray urs won't b an exceptional case. Note: meet wit ur hubby for just dat day n close up till d nxt cycle begins or preg confirmation. All d best.
    Horlah

    ReplyDelete
  15. Bislondy14:09

    Madam, pray about it and let the spirit lead you. There may be a child out there that wants to call you Mum, at the same time, there might be none.
    When the spirit ministers to you to go ahead, speak to your hubby about it.
    All the best

    ReplyDelete
  16. Somebody needs to leave that miserable orphanage home to get himself a better life and you women just shut down that opportunity on him with ur callous thinking, bias and irrational advise...

    Wow! This life sha, those who have bread don't even want those who don't have to even smell their bread least to taste.

    She hasn't complained about the finance of raising him but you all are... Look at the famous "Mario Balotelli" some1 adopted him when his ghanaian parents couldn't afford to raise him, today he bears the name of that white italian "Balotelli" even if his mom later sufficed.

    We need to be much more constructive and less assuming when contributing to sensitive issues, lots of kids out there need this opportunity you all just selfishly turned down.

    @Poster, press harder, if it's ur innate will follow it up to the later till you overcome!



    Sad.... But, Nuff'Said!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous04:24

      Don't compare other western countries to Nig. Even if she adopts, d baby still isn't ur hubby's own. Which will later come to haunt you. Just forget about d idea and focus on your girls. You are already making them feel nt good enough.

      Delete
    2. Who said that the girls wouldn't like the idea of having a baby brother around? Years of society diminishing the value of girls have put ladies on the defensive. How many of the ladies here have gone to adopt a baby "out of love"? What most Nigerians adopt for are retirement babies, gender babies et al. Don't make it sound as if you can't love the baby because of the reason they were adopted. Besides, no one works into an orphanage and just adopts without having a stirring connection from within their soul.

      Delete
  17. Anonymous09:43

    Poster, please let dat discussion of adoption slide. I agree with most people on dis one. First of all, hubby doesn't want it. Have u found out why? It could be bcos he has already accepted d fact dat he doesn't have a son, and concentrate his love and effort on his girls. Don't try to open a wound he may be trying to ignore. An adopted son is not his blood. I bet if u had sons and wanted to adopt a girl, he would not object.
    If ur Oga continues to resist, let it go!!
    Hu knows, he probably already has a son.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Disclaimer16:12

    Ur reason for wanting to adopt is worthless...its nt like you r adopting outta love. Thnk again n again...dat adopted child can never carry on aft your husband cus his blood doesn't run thru his vain. Be wise

    ReplyDelete
  19. Sentiments is all I hear from the comments mostly from ladies on this issue. Now, let us be sincere, how many people in Nigeria adopt for the "right" reasons? In moat cases, you adopt a gender that you desire. I have 2 boys and if the third turns out to be a boy, I will adopt my daughter. This doesn't mean that I wouldn't love her or that she was adopted for the wrong reasons. In fact, I can bet you that most ladies here will not have any problem with the scenario I just painted. But the fact that the issue here is about adopting a boy brings out the defensiveness in you. The only thing I would advise the poster is that you should have adopted your son long before the children count became 6!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Anonymous23:19




    Hello

    Adopting Agency: We are registered and legitimate adoption agency. we spring up young babies for adoptions, we are online 24hrs all day or night to help single mothers and parent to adopt new babies, both white or African babies. this child adoption ranges from 1 month old babies to 8years. try our corporations today and you will have us as the best adoption agency world wide. adopt babies from us today and feel the bitterness of having much more kids from us.; Stephen regards; email us for more information adoptioncenter11@hotmail.com

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Feel free to email me with comments, suggestions, recipe ideas, or pretty much anything! I love hearing from you and I am always excited to receive a comment or email from a blog reader.
Contact Email: cuulme@gmail.com

Most comments are by blog readers. Always seek Professional Help First.
“As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.” When readers purchase items through links on this blog.
- Eya Ayambem

SHARE THIS POST