Why Do Men Cheat Without Shame?


Hello Aunty Eya, good morning how are you? I'm a lady in my late twenties who  just got my heart shredded in pieces. It's the third time and I'm devastated. All my previous relationships ended because they cheated and I couldn't forgive being cheated upon. Every other crime against me can be forgiven but cheating with another girl? Aunty Eya, I can't imagine a man who professes love for me having a good time with another woman. I need help to be able to forgive cheating.

With my relationships ending this way, am I really going to get married? I'm scared. My first boyfriend was a year higher than me at the university, he
cheated, I left him. In my third year, I decided to give it a try, he cheated too and we broke up.

Right now, I should be thinking of settling down and starting my own family. This is the man I really would have loved to spend my life with. I am so heartbroken and I think cannot forgive him. Forgiving is an encouragement to stray again in the future and come ask for more forgiveness. If he doesn't love me enough to be faithful, why bother?

Though he is still pleading, it appears my mind is made up. I don't know,  there might not be a better one out there. If I leave, this would be the third. Is there still hope for me? 
I need advice please. Should I just walk and move on with my life?

Comments

  1. haba! even on this Father's Day celebration. hmmm aunty Ojay u should have allowed us enjoy today in peace. men dis -men dat,as if they with their fellow men.

    ~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA3310

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    Replies
    1. TOSIN Bonario6/16/2013

      Bona my fiance, do you know that while you celebrate, some other people are breaking up somewhere? That's life o. Even on the day Jesus was born, there may be some deaths recorded.
      While some are jubilating, others may be in pain.
      Looking forward to when I'll meet you and carry your baby. *mwah*

      @Poster, just to let you know my Bona is a man but he doesn't cheat.
      Kick that cheater's ass jor.

      Delete
    2. Anonymous6/16/2013

      Lmao

      Delete
    3. Anonymous6/16/2013

      Tosin u r jst crazy.
      Everybody is lookn @me cos of d way i bursted into laughter in a public transport.u dey craze no b small

      Delete
  2. MissSawyerr6/16/2013

    Awww.. So sorry dear. I understand how it hurts and whether we ladies like it or not. As long as we want to be in a relationship with men either as bfz or husbandz. At some point in those two relationship our hrts will be broken and stepped on countless times, it just depends on when or how manytimes we actually catch them red handed. So you leave this one go to the next one, he might be faithful to you even until marriage and some years after marriage and one day na one painful discovery. #myownopinion if you like vex.
    Well if your mind is made up about leaving this guy/man it is understandable. The thing is they will always beg. That's how it is. So if u cannot stomach his cheating ass mayb you should move on then. ( -̩̩̩͡˛ -̩̩̩͡ ) (~̩̩̩̩͡_~̩̩̩̩͡), etc den after sometime you will get over it and find another bf.. I pray the circle of cheating man does not continue in your life. Amen. Happy Sunday

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous6/16/2013

      Wat did u type? smh

      Delete
    2. Anonymous6/16/2013

      If you do not understand you can move.

      Delete
    3. MissSawyerr6/16/2013

      @ Anon 4.35.
      I have no idea what I typed. I just typed jargons. Next time I will make sure I type something you do understand.
      NMH

      Delete
  3. TOSIN Bonario6/16/2013

    Bona my fiance, do you know that while you celebrate, some other people are breaking up somewhere? That's life o. Even on the day Jesus was born, there may be some deaths recorded.
    While some are jubilating, others may be in pain.
    Looking forward to when I'll meet you and carry your baby. *mwah*

    @Poster, just to let you know my Bona is a man but he doesn't cheat.
    Kick that cheater's ass jor.

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous6/16/2013

      TOSIN BONARIO? IN YOUR DREAMS.

      Delete
  4. Anonymous6/16/2013

    my dear most men can't just do without cheating,it only takes by God's grace,first of all before i continue,i will like to ask you some questions even if i know that some men cheat without reason,they tell you they love you and all,yet they cheat.
    1.have you asked your self what you are doing wrong?
    2.is there a particular thing all your ex have complained about you,yet you still do them
    don't get me wrong tho,am not saying anyone has a right to cheat in a relationship,but it's good we all work on the things we do that more than one ex has complained about.
    guys loves to cheat,even when they truly love you,i don't know how they will feel if girls cheat on them even when they truly love them,one thing i will like you to know is that,if you feel you can forgive him and move on,do that,but make sure that he pays for making you feel cheated on,he broke your trust,so he has to try to build it back.

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  5. sister6/16/2013

    Hian!na wa ooooo!Aunty Eya u guys are determined 4 me not to ve a holy sunday
    Father forgive me 4 what am about to say now
    Dear poster,u say d guy is everything u want in a guy abi as in 8/10 wooo let me tell u don't
    let him go oooo most guys can't 2/10 sef.you want to leave him bcos of kini my advice to u is to find one hot guy and do ur own back oooo.they will come and give different reasons y shouldn't do
    it but ooo na ur kasala
    Men cheat without shame bcos they ve a quite lady as a wife whom he can sweet talk buy some lousy gifts for and someone he can frustrate but for someone like me haaaa iya adugbo him no say I no send that is when I step up my a-game wetin clean clohes,sweet perf infact u see me glowing afterall what is good 4 d goose is also good for d gander.
    Father pls forgive me 4 I ve sinned .NB abeg make una no vex I too dey talk off point and una no say I no understand englise

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    Replies
    1. sister6/16/2013

      Too much errors na wa oooo
      Where I go start from sef
      Most guys no go score reach 2/10.msewwwww I don tire abeg u can skip my comment biko but if u abuse me na 4 ur head he go land so there I wish u what u wish me .ciao

      Delete
    2. Anonymous6/16/2013

      Lmao

      Delete
    3. nwa pastor6/16/2013

      Buhahahahahahahaha

      Delete
    4. Nwa pastor6/16/2013

      Bia miss,u know say sister na yoroba dem dey accept that kain thing .My advice to u be say u go dump this guy but mind u oo u fit dey ya papa house begin struggle ana obi with ya brothers oooo.dats all

      Delete
    5. your new BBF6/16/2013

      Sis Eya na which site u go carry sister from
      I sure say sister escape for mental hospital.sister no vex the thing be say I no understand u at all but I love u too much each day I wait for your comments and u ve never disappointed me except when you were on Ahdaisy's case infact u are the bestest

      Delete
    6. I LOVE SISTER6/16/2013

      Me too, I didn't like when sister was on Ahdaisy's case BUT, now she is my darling. I love you now sister. #ChopKiss

      Delete
  6. Johnson6/16/2013

    What will happen when you get married and find out your husband cheated – walk away? You go waka tire!
    There had been several post on what kind of man you should(not) – you need to read up girl. The truth is that at a certain age (like Ace & Bona), you’re a superman when you have dem ladies plenty.
    Little children have bastardise the word called LOVE – that word is being used when, for e.g. you dey chop man money or when the man dey lick your soup: Love indeed!
    Check the kinda of guyz that appeal to you – are they God fearing guyz or the guyz about town?
    If only my God-fearing brothers can be bold to chatup babes (most are too timid) and not allow our ladies (d good ones o) to fall into wrong hands. Abeg, my sister, there are still good guys out there… If your guy scores >70% of required criteria, forgive and try to forget.

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    Replies
    1. Ace Bentley's Boo6/16/2013

      Uncle Johnson, pls stop disturbing my darling Ace. He is having a good time here and there you are calling his name this hot afternoon.
      Dear poster, even my shorty Ace sef is always telling me that all men cheat. Me I won't be sutrprised when he eventually does. I will forgive him sharp sharp.

      Delete
    2. Uncle Johnson has said it all, I will just say that you yourself are you God fearing? How is your relationship with God? Do you allow God take charge of your relationship? You can't live in the world and expect to attarct a God fearing man! You must take your time to pray and seek Gods face, put your heart in the secret place of the most high, so that any man that falls for you must have also been in the secret place of the most high!

      Delete
    3. At this juncture, I just want to ask cos I seem not to understand. Are we saying that 'non-God fearing' people can't attract men that don't cheat and that 'God-fearing' men don't cheat? It's just a harmless question o :-)
      @Deborah and @Johnson

      *confused smiley*

      Delete
    4. Johnson6/16/2013

      @JaY, I'll make an effort to respond as brief as possible.
      1. Non-God fearing people can (& they sometimes do) attract (wo)men that don't cheat... Not cheating is not what makes a (wo)man God-fearing. There are bad people out there that do not cheat - there are worst things than cheating!
      2. God-fearing (wo)men can cheat. However, they would lose their peace when that happens until they reconcile with God. This makes cheating or anything 'bad' undesirable to them. Nothing is worth losing your peace which comes as a result of separation from God.

      Delete
    5. Thanks for the clarification @Johnson.

      Delete
  7. Hmmm! Men and cheat,I had cycles of cheating bf and at a poinyt I got fed up wit tears,infact d imediate last r/ship I had before my fiance got married at my back, no info nothing until I saw his wedn pics on facebook.. My dear just take hrt and pray to God for the grace to forgv and move on wit him dat is if u stil love him.. One of my married girl friends told me recently dat "if u want to live long as a married lady, always see ur hubby as ur bf and not as a husband" I don't knw how true ds is biko married wc ladies should answer dat.

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous6/16/2013

      always see ur hubby as ur bf and not as a husband??? HOW? expantiate o, am confused.

      Delete
    2. Meaning dat her hubby still cheats even after marring her, dat just d way we knw most guys don't kip just a girl and we still accept dem, it should apply to hubby too for her peace of mind! Lol!

      Delete
    3. I have an uncle who told me sometime ago dat of no reasons should I divorce my hubby wen ever I find out dat he's cheating on me. I don't want to believe men are polygamous in nature cuz cheating is a choice, me I just belive in drawing my scale and if he weighs more gud to bad I will take him most expecially God fearing.

      Delete
  8. Anonymous6/16/2013

    IF NA CHEATING BE YOUR PROBLEM FOR WHERE MAN DEY HIM BE SAY YOU NO WAN MARRY!

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  9. Anonymous6/16/2013

    U cannot continue moving on like that, u just have to forgive him so that devil will not use your unforgiven heart for cheating on you as weapon to hinder your marriage by making every guy that comes your way to cheat on you and as your philosophy you will not forgive any that does that so learn to forgive and you yourself can change the man through your attitude men are devil that cannot change from his evil way. My dear try and forgive so you can meet your mr right happy father's day

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  10. Anonymous6/16/2013

    U cannot continue moving on like that, u just have to forgive him so that devil will not use your unforgiven heart for cheating on you as weapon to hinder your marriage by making every guy that comes your way to cheat on you and as your philosophy you will not forgive any that does that so learn to forgive and you yourself can change the man through your attitude men are not devil that cannot change from his evil way. My dear try and forgive so you can meet your mr right happy father's day

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  11. Anonymous6/16/2013

    U cannot continue moving on like that, u just have to forgive him so that devil will not use your unforgiven heart for cheating on you as weapon to hinder your marriage by making every guy that comes your way to cheat on you and as your philosophy you will not forgive any that does that so learn to forgive and you yourself can change the man through your attitude men are not devil that cannot change from his evil way. My dear try and forgive so you can meet your mr right happy father's day

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  12. Anonymous6/16/2013

    Its beta 4 d man to cheat afta maRriage dan b4 marriage, Jeeez! Una neva marry n is cheatin already #smh. Just liv d guy and pray for ur own man. Since u don't lyk bein cheated on, God wil send d one who don't to u. Simple

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  13. Don't fuse.... 95% of us men cheat!
    Keep searching until you get some1 from the 5% category! I just pray you won't be over used before you find 1.


    Chikenah!

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    Replies
    1. Ace Bentley's Boo6/16/2013

      My Honey lollipop, I hope you won't marry many of us o? I will maim for your sake. I'm warning you now.

      Delete
  14. Anonymous6/16/2013

    For those that tell women to be submissive to thier husbands, hope you all encourage the women to seek help.
    http://naijagists.com/touching-letter-by-an-abused-wife-to-her-husband-b4-she-died-of-cancer-rip-dolapo-goodgod/

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  15. Men are he- GOATS!!!!!!!!if u have not seen how he-goat behave pls luk 4 where they are reared

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  16. My dear, i just found out dis evening dat my husband rented an apartment 4 his gf not too far away from where we live. I didnt even confront him. Am sitting tight in my home cos God knows am not moving out 4 my fellow woman. So if u were in my shoes u will pack up & leave wit ur children? U neva ready 2 marry.

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous6/16/2013

      Wow! Shocker! Men!!. Well I guess everyother persons advice will be pray to God. Men. Dogs. Far from where you live? God knws no marriage for me. I can't deal with all the heart ache that comes with it. Sorry dear. I cannot understand how you feel cause I am not in your position. May God give you the strenght to solve this situation. Peace

      Delete
    2. Sorry dear, but her case is different as dem neva marry.
      Poster dump his cheating ass! If he loved you, he would have thought twice. That's what i tell some people, why get someone else involved emotionally when you know you are not ready for commitment? Stupidity of some men tho *cant deal*

      Delete
    3. Johnson6/17/2013

      @Anon9:24pm - no marriage for you becos of heart ache? You better be a nun cos it’s not easy to please God as a single full-fleshed lady – the temptations no bi here o ...
      There are still good marriages out there and God is still in the business of bringing up (wo)men that will reverence Him in their marriages. I can testify that for 13years I am enjoying my marriage and it's getting better. Are there challenges? Yes - but the benefits far out-weigh the heart aches. An encounter with Jesus, and the zeal to honor Him, is all that makes the difference.

      Delete
  17. Ace Boo6/16/2013

    Loooool... This blog is just so funny 2day! First it was Tosin Bona, i laughed so hard. Then came Sister, she got me rolling on d floor and finally, hmmm, Ace you are hotter than i thought o. My dear @Ace Bently's boo, i dash you my boo, free of charge!
    Dear poster, biko, its not all men that cheat! Pray that God will give you your own man. He will love you too much to cheat on you.

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  18. My dear poster, may the Lord comfort you. Wipe your tears ok!You really need to seek God's face to be able to forgive, it's very important. As for your boyfriend, pls, let him be a story in your life, take a break from relationship for a while and pray concerning any relationship you want to start. Tell God to lead you, tell Him you wont go ahead with any man unless He's gives u signs{you know how He speaks to you} and believe in your heart, confess with your mouth daily that you will be happily married without an iota of doubt in your heart and you will be amazed at the way He will settle you. All the best

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  19. It is well, Pls 80% guys n naija cheat, u can't keep changing dem.

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  20. Anonymous6/17/2013

    First off, its kinda hilarious that a lady in her late 20's is crying cos of a cheating man. If u can't stand the little pressure of another woman in ther picture, is it when u r married that wolves will be everywhere trying to enter ur vineyard that u will stay? Abi are u a learner? You better hold on tight to ur man if its only cheating that is the problem, and show him that he can't live without you. Cheating is not the worst sin a man can commit my dear, ask ur mother, I'm sure she will tell u the same.

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  21. I'm worried people think it is 'acceptable' and normal for men to cheat.
    I disagree that a woman should leave her hubby coz he cheats however I believe they should work on their marriage but to think majority believe 'just accept that is a man's nature and men will be men' is totally wrong.
    Poster u said u are in ur late 20's, never mind and trust God that ur own man will come for u one day. He has cheated twice so far and u are not married yet. Cheating will be a regular thing in ur marriage if u decide to marry this man.

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  22. E b like say dis marriage of a tin na scam o!

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  23. Happy Me11/08/2013

    Was the cheating a one time thing, or was he keeping another girl(s) full time behind you? Answering this question will help u decide. I feel ur pain sis.*hugs*

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  24. Kaydee2/06/2014

    Poster i wont advice you leave your byfriend for now especilally if he as as good as you claimed. Give him a second chance, you never can tell what the out come will be. There is really no perfect person anywhere. Are you saying if your hubby staryed after marriage, you will up and leave? Get more spiritual and also do a fair self check to see where you might be going wrong too. Big huggs dearie.

    ReplyDelete

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