Our Helpers: Are They Truly Happy? :(

Hi dear, welcome to my house. We haven't seen in a long while, sorry no time to come to visit. How is your family? Thank you for stopping by. There's something I want to say to you. This is unlike me o but my blog readers advised that I start learning how to confront people.

It's strange you came with your house help. Thanks for taking her

out today cos normally you visit with your kids while she stays home. I like this development and wish you take her out more often. She came from the village and should be allowed to see a bit of how Abuja looks like naa. *wink*

I open the door, you walk in and get seated. She sits on the floor but I ask her to get herself comfortable on a proper seat. Well, now I'm trying to be more observant. I think of what to present and you request for a piece of cake. I dash into the kitchen, cut a big and a small piece, actually,I wanted  to give your househelp the small piece but because I have been advised to start giving to children through their parents, I put the

two pieces of cake together hoping that naturally you'd pass the smaller piece to your helper, the one that makes life easy for you, the one that does all your dirty jobs, the one that keeps your home clean and neat, the one that does all your washing plus babysitting. 

We chat along, but with the corner of my eye, I watch you bring out your little baby, feed her some, and finish the rest without remembering the little housegirl that you brought along. 


Anyway, that's not my business and shouldn't be but I felt bad for your house help. 

Our helpers are very important. We may not know it but without them, life can be very stressful. Because they are there is the reason we have more time for ourselves. Agreed we pay them, is that enough? IMO our biological kids are not better before the creator. Everyone is equal before him.

Comments

  1. Brandy20:45

    Deep and inspiring. Thank you

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous16:47

      Aunty Eya, I want to believe ds is ur friend we adviced u to confront the other day. Just wondering, doesn't she read ur blog ni? U lik trouble o..

      Delete
  2. Anonymous21:12

    easier written than practiced. easier read than done. We are all guilty at some point or the other. the holier than the popes here will come and prove the are the best when it comes to this mater. meanwhile when you meet the wicked ungrateful househelps (after all you did for them and their parents)your testimony go change.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous08:04

      Imagine it's your child...................

      Delete
    2. Anonymous17:19

      lolzzzzzzzzzzz

      Delete
    3. Anonymous17:48

      They buy dress of 5k for their children,but 500.00 for their househelps!

      They spend hundreds of naira on their daughter's hair but plait thread or shuku for their maids.there is abuse in every stage and not food alone.

      aunty eya, no hostess present a food on the same plate or tray for two different people, especially when they are not sitting on the same place or chair and are not couples!

      your presentation gave the assumption that it was only for her,and you did not want to give the maid.your saying giving children things in front of their mothers does not hold water here. it is not a gift but a refreshment, which does not need much perception, especially when you already saw what transpired.

      lets all stop these pretentious talks as was done in the transparency issue. even in organisations there is hierachy! even in the bible there was hierachy for those who would come here spitting holy brimstone. as long as a maid is not maltreated, well fed, and paid her dues, its ok.

      Delete
    4. Anonymous07:57

      Aunty Eya, you should stop assuming things about your friends. Now you assumed the woman will give her maid cake frm her own plate. Why didnt u just ask ur friend if u could give her maid a piece of cake? That way u would have been an advocate for the girl in a way. We must stop assuming pple will do what we have in mind.

      Delete
  3. chubby ELLA23:12

    I'm nt a party 2 maltreating helps o,I believe we'r all equal in d sight of God. I live alone so I dnt need a househelp cos dere'l b no much work 4 him/her 2 do. I only ask my security man 4 a lil assistance wen I decide 2 cook in large quantities n trust me he eats "ALL" I eat n even more dan me sef. D guy fat pass me sef.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Very nice of you Chubby ELLA!

      Delete
    2. Anonymous21:17

      @Chubby Ella, you are a good woman. Only few are.

      Delete
  4. Anonymous08:09

    Hmmm, less privilege isn't less human. The way these kids are treated is what makes them become hardened and wicked to their guardians.

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    Replies
    1. MzChocolata12:01

      Not true! We've had househelps that my mum bought me d same clothes with them, d exact same things from yankee, cos am d only girl and my mum just felt good dt she had d opportunity to buy for another girl.
      I even allow them to wear my costume jewelries and trainers and stuff I currently wear not the old ones. Infact when one of those maids came to my secondary skool then, my friends thot she was my sister.. U'd fink they r my sisters.. Even family friends that thot some of them were maybe from my mums family would say they like her and wanna date not knowing say we are not related, na from proper bush dem come.
      But trust me! They wld be even more cruel to u, steal everything when they leave, if u give some humans an inch sometimes they take a mile! So where exactly do we draw the line, cos if u treat them like ur dotas they change suddenly and feel they have same rights with ur kids and even ride them, like I was at an earlier stage.. I remember 1 even psychin me she's my mums relative and not a housemaid I even asked my mum and she sef said well I shld take her like my aunt since I know she's an orphan and all. My dear na she pack our house comot run with driver..
      So I don't even know what to say regarding this matter. I wnt treat my maids like my children, hell no! They'd take it for granted, am talking from experiences not 1 not 2.. We should just kinda put a balance is what I'll say and apply wisdom. Just not doing stuff that is as silly as this cake scenario. It even reminds me of how when I was younger and my mum was out, the maid wey dey even sleep with my mum on her bed sometyms o, dey with us watch tv at midnyt fr our rooms and all, go chop all d meat fr pot and give my brothers and I 1 tiny piece to share. Some of them are just plain ingrates and cruel no matter how u treat them

      Delete
  5. Anonymous08:11

    Some ppl don't no dat when you treat helpers bad, they develop hatred for your fam

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous08:13

    No matter how nice you are, they are never grateful. Even the virtuous woman in Prov 31, gaveth a portion to her maiden after giving meat to her household. If you like, give them everything you have, the story will still be the same.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anonymous09:34

    Quoting to suit right? When I c ur kids looking well dressed while ur maid looks like slave, i automatically lose respect for you.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Johnson10:33

    It goes beyond housemaid - how do you treat people? Be good to people, whether maid, strangers, or others…
    What would it profit (us) to be good and focused only on immediate family? Your house/kids are at the mercy of these people when we are not around - we will never be all the time.
    Remember Naaman in 2Kings5 - the maids saved him from the greatest reproach of his life (leprosy).
    The greatest testimony you can have (about yourself) is the one being shared by people you were not directly responsible for. Is your light shinning for all to see – abi na candle light wey go light only small room with plenty darkness around? You lose nothing by being good to people!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous10:58

      God bless U̶̲̥̅̊ Johnson. U̶̲̥̅̊ Hλ√ƺ said Ȋ̝̊†̥ all. βε̲̣ nice to everyone.EPHY

      Delete
  9. Well sald Johnson, Imagine ur maid dressed in Rags carrying ur Child dressed in designer cloths.

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  10. tope12:21

    It doesn't matter whether the maid turns out nasty or does not appreciate. IMO, u don't do good because u want to be appreciated or applauded. Do unto others the way u want them to do unto u and ur kids. Maids that are treated badly take revenge on their boss's kids cos they can't talk back @ their boss. Moreover, that they are maids does not make them less human than the boss.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Anonymous12:31

    No one is sayin buy designer clothes for your maid but hey, there are better ones than those oversized rags

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous20:55

      so how is does it describe 'treat them same as your children'
      if you buy designer clothes for your children, do same for the maids. PERIOD!

      Delete
  12. Jayne12:38

    My pain is when bosses won't let their maids watch TV, Even when they are less busy, they rather sit in the kitchen. Smh

    ReplyDelete
  13. Anonymous12:50

    I know a family, the maid is not qualified to eat good breakfast with them. Leftovers from yesterday

    ReplyDelete
  14. Anonymous13:31

    all of una don dey wai wai wai una mouth. na some of una wicked pass oshisco

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous18:15

      lolzzzzzzzzz.

      Delete
  15. I ws impressed one day wen I went 4 a party. A woman hu had 3kids a gal n 2 boys, came wit 2 maids. D maids were wearin d exact clothes wit ha daughter in diff colours. Doz gals seemed hapi n u won't know dey r maids til dey tel u.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous20:39

      likely aso-ebi.
      families do that in lagos.

      Delete
  16. Anonymous15:33

    (˘̯˘ ) as una dey run mouth pass, na so una dey do pass. Fear some househelps mehnn but fear some women more! They can even treat their siblings worse!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous20:50

      lolzzzzzzzzzz.

      Delete
  17. Gracia16:01

    Just treat your maid the way you want your kids to be treated.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Anonymous18:33

    words are cheap!
    i am yet to see any nigerian woman that treats her maid same as her children!
    fa-fa-fa-foul!
    how many maids sleep on the same bed with their children?
    eat from the same plate? or have the same number of meats?
    eat on the dinner table with madam and oga?
    attend the same school?
    wear the same clothes?
    treat them same as the children or treat with respect and decency?



    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I do!
      except for eating with OGA N MADAM!

      Delete
    2. Maids are not and cannot be, your kids. They are paid workers and should be given their dues - that does not make them part of the immediate family.
      The issue should not be about sleeping on same bed, wear same cloths,... it's about being good to them. I can tell you that they would be worst off with their parents in terms of their condition of living... All we need is to improve them and love them - not adopt them.

      Delete
    3. Anonymous20:36

      GBAMEST!
      Treat them with respect and decency daz all!


      @chicadimples, why don't they eat with you and oga on the dinner table? don't your children do that?

      lets all stop all these pretentious talk!
      even amongst ourselves, we do the class-status stuff!
      i am better than this labaja or that labaja! he or she is not in my class ish'. no matter how an employee works hard, an employer cannot make her part of his immediate family but show his appreciation with gifts.

      many women speaking here do not treat their own relations and in-laws same as their children.

      i observed aunty eya voltrons don't come out to speak on topics they know don't favor them so as to keep the goody-goody image.

      Delete
    4. Dave21:24

      *They are paid workers*
      Talking of PAYMENT, how much do you really pay them? Is that justified? Do they shop from different low cost markets anywhere?
      Their pay is too small for you not to take good care of them. In your mind you feel comfortable with the peanuts you pay them ni?

      Delete
    5. @Dave... no one gets paid enough for the work they do and there's no justification to treat people badly.
      Maids deserve to be taking care of - but that does not make them your child. Even God dey take care of everyone, though not all are His children!

      Delete
  19. Anonymous18:45

    r workers happy wt their bosses?
    r wives happy wt their husbands [from the stories i read here i don't think so]
    r nigerians happy wt their leaders?
    r bloggers happy wt annoying comments?

    ReplyDelete
  20. Anonymous18:52

    Let me give you my experience!
    My maid is 15yrs, and when she came life became a lil bit easier for me. I vowed to treat her well and I allow her serve her food herself.
    I notice she takes food without meat, and always sits in a corner. I did everything posible to stop that but she refused, until I ve to start beating her each time her see her on corners, or shout at her then she started changing.
    I've cut her several time with my children's clothes, in her bag, or some money she stole frm my room. (My kids are 3 and 1, what will she be doing with such clothes)
    The worse part was when I caught her molesting my boy of 1yr, and I became so bittered towards her. And she admitted she always play with their private parts.. God! Words cannot explain how I felt.
    Each time I try sending her away, she will cry her eyes out, and I get touched, that she might not be well taken care of.
    The bitterness is still there, so I give her real heat each time she does anything wrong.
    Meanwhile, I don't leave my kids with her anymore, and that was the first purpose of her coming. I carry kids arround where ever I go..
    Some househelps are wicked, based on were they were brought up. No matter how nice you are to them. Just pray that you get one with a good heart.

    Patsy

    ReplyDelete
  21. Anonymous18:54

    Let me give you my experience!
    My maid is 15yrs, and when she came life became a lil bit easier for me. I vowed to treat her well and I allow her serve her food herself.
    I notice she takes food without meat, and always sits in a corner. I did everything posible to stop that but she refused, until I ve to start beating her each time her see her on corners, or shout at her then she started changing.
    I've cut her several time with my children's clothes, in her bag, or some money she stole frm my room. (My kids are 3 and 1, what will she be doing with such clothes)
    The worse part was when I caught her molesting my boy of 1yr, and I became so bittered towards her. And she admitted she always play with their private parts.. God! Words cannot explain how I felt.
    Each time I try sending her away, she will cry her eyes out, and I get touched, that she might not be well taken care of.
    The bitterness is still there, so I give her real heat each time she does anything wrong.
    Meanwhile, I don't leave my kids with her anymore, and that was the first purpose of her coming. I carry kids arround where ever I go..
    Some househelps are wicked, based on were they were brought up. No matter how nice you are to them. Just pray that you get one with a good heart.

    Patsy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous01:19

      You had better send her packing! U caught her molesting your child and still left her. ....na wa oh! Things people take for granted.

      Delete
    2. Anonymous10:47

      i can not believe that you caught her molesting your kids and yet she still works for you? are you kidding me? Do you not love your kids??? abi na jazz?

      Delete
  22. Anonymous20:04

    I can't thank God enough, that I no longer need a maid. I can manage the household chores with my kids.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous21:30

      Me too, so relieved of too much talk and headache.

      Delete
  23. Anonymous21:53

    Where is Ahdaisy and sister?
    I am missing them so much
    They are the pulse of this blog

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lisa22:01

      Fights are sweet when you are not the one involved. so you want them to fight for ever? Looking at you with side eyes...

      Delete
    2. mzChocolata12:05

      Lol

      Delete
    3. @ lisa Rotfl you need to see how i did the eye stuff for you. Kia some comments can make you do stupid things ehe

      Delete

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