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Getting Comfortable By Celise

When you first start dating a new Le Boo you are very careful to present yourself in the best light possible. You constantly make sure you brush your teeth, be in your best clothes and always look on point anytime you are meeting. This is the new period in a relationship where each person is worried about the impression they are presenting to the other person.
I remember that when I started dating my boyfriend, I could
not even tell him I wanted to use the loo when I go for visits. I dreaded the morning after sleepovers because I had a Gas problem and I always ended up coming back with a bloated stomach because I held fart the whole night long. After some time into our relationship (a year and a half), the two of us were even having farting competitions. I also remember that every time I was to see him, I would brush my teeth like twice, and buy a lot of mint toffees so I have the freshest breath. Well, I just relaxed on all that after some time.


My friend told me of how she was dating (or about to date) this boy, they were in the phase where they both knew they liked each other and wanted more than just friendship. He had even told her he loved her, but she still wanted to be sure before she  jumped into anything with him. Basically she hadn’t fallen head over heels for him even though she knew she liked him. Now here is the thing, this guy started to reveal a little too much for her, in his bid to let her know him more. He told her about how many girls had turned him down, how he felt lucky to have her, etc.. The worst information he gave her about himself was that he had piles. 

Well she did not think so bad of that until he went further to tell her of how because of his piles he does not use tissue but uses his hands to wash his anus after going to the washroom. And that was the deal breaker for her. The problem here was, this guy should have just waited for the getting comfortable stage to set in.
When we are comfortable with our partners we tend to let all of our little quirks come out and we do not care about them. We do not care about our partner's quirks either. We feel like we can just be ourselves and we tend to do just that. Whenever you see yourself or your partner exhibiting any of these behaviors you know that your relationship is comfortable and settled.
At what point does a couple cross the line between being in the good impression stage to the comfortable, “I can fart in front of you” phase?
So let’s talk about this, how would you know it is time to just be yourself after you enter a new relationship? When do you not bother to do a quick clean up when he’s coming over? When were you comfortable enough to pee in front of each other? Also what were some of the things that you were conscious about but as time went on you just relaxed? Please share your thoughts.
Celise.

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Comments

  1. Anonymous6/03/2013

    I dey wait for Ace, Ahdaisy and Bona

    ReplyDelete
  2. My dear this is quite pertinent issue you've raised here. Made me feel like I even need help in this aspect.
    Personally if I'm so much in love with you,I wouldn't mind telling you all you need to know without you asking, on our first date.
    Could recall a particular incident in my 3rd year then in the University,on a first date I told this girl that I'm still innocent,u needed to see the way she laughed at me,and all the people there were looking at me like I poo pooed on myself,I was so ashamed that day.
    But after that day and with advice from few friends,I was in the know.
    I don't hide my age or the fact that I have minor asthma from them on a first date. Hmmm maybe I'll count myself lucky they aint weighty sha. Some factors due trigger such openess,such as:
    being head over heels in love with the person,and to your surprise on the first meeting she seems so cool with you and you're tempted to go on reelingout your secrets.

    Inferiority complex: some men go about telling a girl how they've been snubbed by many girls,just to attract what to them seem some sort of sympathy,unknown to them,ladies prefer to have the dream guy of every lady,not one despised by many.won't be out of place if I attribute my always telling girls then that I'm still innocent. Funny me I thought that would endear me to them,not knowing they needed a pro in that field.

    Some also want to appear to be very open and sincere,not knowing they're headed for self destruct.

    To me the solution is to try your best in controlling your emotions,hide your naivety,study your partner and gradually release the bombs at the appropriate time as time goes on.
    When is the appropriate time? Its left for the individual,coz u can't afford to tell a girl you're HIV positive on a first date. There'll come a time ripe for such.
    My two cents.

    ~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA3310

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous6/03/2013

    Me i dey wait for Jay and Rubynnia and Johnson.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Duchess6/03/2013

    Oh well, I prefer them real... To me, you had better not start what you can not finish. If you must fake it, be very good at it till the end, cos if I notice any silly change, that's the end!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous6/03/2013

    I dey wait for Ace, Chomz and Aunty Eya

    ReplyDelete
  6. For me, I am more of a reclusive person I divulge as much as you also let out, it's more like a pay as you go thingy.

    As you wrote I remembered the 1st girl I ever dated, Wow! She was so plain, pretty and just ready to tell me about anything, she even told me how army officers raped them in boarding school cos she went to Command, and I went to Nigerian Navy Satalite town. The day she took me to her house (I was a teenager here) I was in awe that such a good looking and nice person could live in a place like this, the house wasn't plastered yet, the window's were braced with wood and she allowed me visit proudly, most girls won't. But did I judge her by that?... Naively, YES.. I ran away the following month after that visit, but I know better now.

    I was crayyyy sha! Hoping to read some more crayyy stuv's


    Nuff'Said!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Me too, I get as comfortable as the person gets. The reasom I might tell you about my past is if you tell me about urs and I just want to identify with you that I also have a past.

      To the main reason I came to ur comment! So you are my school mate too? Pls in what set did you finish? Is it NNSS OJO aka Navsec? Or Navy Town Sec sch? I attended Ojo o... Pls tell me you were my school mate lemme do a double back flip now now!

      Delete
    2. Aaaah! Unbelievable...

      I attended Nigeria Navy primary school, @road 4 very close to NOWA. Then moved on to Nigeria Navy secondary school @road 1, I left there in JSS3 98/99. Both schools are inside the navy barracks in satelite town Ojo.

      Wow, this world is a small world, then I use to dream to become a naval officer, we where always proud of our White cape compared to the blue cape of Navy town the public school.

      So what set were you? Great to know you attended that school! I remember some of my friend "Odudu, Gbenga, Bolaji and so on, only God know's where they are now.

      Abeg hint me plz I need to if I ever met you


      Danke Schone

      Delete
    3. Aww, I was still in primary school o. I entered in 1999. Do you remember MR OLAIWOLA? Dats one man I'm sure everyone remembers. Then all those wicked Naval ratings who used to flog the hell out of us. Chai! We suffered o.

      Yeah, we were always proud of it and we looked down on Navy town students as if they were not up to our standards... Smh! Who cares now?

      Anyway, I stil did an imaginary back flip. :-) . So Bona an Ace were my school mates... Cool!

      Delete
    4. Wow! You got in when I was leaving...
      Still God still has a way of things come to sync! I'm glad you attended that school. When I saw you and bona talking about handmaid I was just less concerned I never I'll come and talk about mine here also.

      Mr Olayiwola never thought me but I know him. I remember one day when we went to play a football match with I guess it was Hope bay or St judes can't remember and we lost, na from inside bus them match us go parade ground for better drilling... Lolz

      Life, good to know we share a past!

      Have blessed night, keep being that shining light and princess that you irrespective!

      Delete
    5. Johnson6/03/2013

      @ Ace & Ahdaisy (JSS in 1998/99?) - I'm impressed with your wealth of wisdom...
      I had some incisions on my body - visit to plenty baba lawo being the last child in a family that lost 6 children. I had always cherished having a lovely body but those marks were a source of concern to me. This day, they will pass for tattos!

      Delete
    6. @Johnson, Wow! We'r growing up to be like you, #Babalawo incisions, It's a common sight in nigeria, but I've not been through such sha and don't know how you feel but hiding that from a woman is needed, if she see am she go run excepts she has many too.

      Stay blessed big bro!

      Delete
    7. Johnson6/03/2013

      @Ace. We're looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith...
      Incisions are not something you talk about - it's something to be seen under special conditions (lights out)... Thank God for Jesus!

      Delete
    8. @Ace, lolz at better drilling. So person no go lose again? Na wa o. Mr Olaiwola thought me social studies or was it Government?, at some point. Hm..,you dare not mess up! Two strokes of his cane and you wnt sit for a week! In fact, the sound from the cane before it makes contact with ur ass, was enough to make you cry! Lol..such memories.

      Thanks for ur words of encouragement. It means a lot to me. :-)

      @ Uncle Johnson, I have to call you Uncle cos from the way you sound, you are not my mate at all...lol. Anyway, thanks. Those incisions must have really made you feel bad. But thank God you are a guy. It is worse on ladies especially if on their faces. Lol@ special conditions...

      Delete
    9. Shayor!6/04/2013

      I can't bliv Ahdaisy was in primary sch in 98/99, I thought you made a mistake wen u were talking abt handmaid pry sch in 98 set! Wow.....u must av gotten married quite early! That's nice.. Anyways, Ace...I think I can relate!

      Delete
    10. Anonymous6/04/2013

      So this Ahdaisy is not just in her very early 20s (like 23/24) but is also barely 2yrs in her marriage, yet she claims to be more knowledgeable in marriage matters....*holds laugh*... Devil is a liar!

      Delete
    11. Johnson6/04/2013

      @Anon 1:45am & 7:28am. Daniel & the 3 Hebrew lads were so good that they were better than their teacher, 10 times better, 10 times wiser then the men who taught them wisdom... Wisdom is not cheap & needs to be bought - you get it by mere old age(Prov 23:23).

      Delete
    12. Ahdaisy may be quite young but I marvel at the wisdom of the young lady. I was in my Year 4 when she entered Sec. School and yet I look forward to her advice when people lay their complaints. I don't always agree with her but it isn't denying the fact that she has God given wisdom.

      Delete
    13. Johnson6/04/2013

      *... you don't get it by mere old agae (Prov 23:23)

      Delete
    14. Mrs Dayo6/04/2013

      Ahdaisy, you are a very small girl with a truck load of wisdom. Now I know why you have haters. Tryinna dim your shine. I look forward to your advise all the time even though I may not agree all the time.

      When yOU CAN'T HELP REPLYING haters I won't blame you anymore. It's the age. You are still in that age range with a hot head.
      God bless your wisdom my lil sis.

      Delete
    15. Wow... Thanks Uncles Johnson and Chuks! And Mrs Mogan. Right from when I was younger, I looked and behaved older than my age. This is why I even skipped two classes in primary school, although strikes in Uni, evened everything up. It's also part of why I got married early.

      Anon 7:28, there are so many books on marriage. In fact owning a bible and reading it is enuff. I have single friends who have told me things about marriage and I'm amazed at how true and accurate they are. I never claim to be old or knowledgeable in marriage. I just say what I think and dats it. Look at Ace's advice on the previous post. Though he is not married and is a guy, he said so many things that are home truths with women. Even tho many people were against him, some of us were wise enuff to take the one that concerns us and adjust. Simple.

      I have learnt so much on this blog! Even the drama I get has made my everyday life drama free cos right now, I can spot a potential drama situation miles away and I avoid it. :-) :-)

      Delete
    16. Thanks Mrs Dayo. *Hugs* lol @ hot head. It's true o. When ppl tell me not to reply, I am like 'for what now? Lemme give it back to them hot!' But I am beginning to learn that it is not ideal. I am learning o. Very soon I'll be like you! Hope you still remember I am ur follower? I dey ur back! :-)

      Delete
    17. Hmmm, as I read all your sub-comments my heart began to sing "forever young, I wanna be forever young" and if I may add "forever wise" cos as we grow our wisdom depletes.

      The very 1st day i read Ahdaisy's comment on this blog, I sighed that there's most-def smtin different about her, little wonder her hubby didn't waste time in marrying her. One day I went to her blog timeline and I realized a guy was on her timeline giving her fire-for-fire insult, trust Ahdaisy she dished it back in a bag full the guy later apologized, I laffed so hard.

      My advice to her is that "be ready to understand ur enemies" you see, we blog trolls are ppl who are not social or have plenty enemies in real life, we run down here to find some love, avoid enemies and learn but somehow we realize that enemies are just everywhr. And you see, ppl who hate you will push you to your promiseland... That's the humbles story of Joseph, the people of Israel, David and even Jesus.

      @Mrs Morgan I am now a fan of yours I know that for real, @Johnson you've always been the CALM in a turbulent sea, you spell maturity in all it's alphabets, @Shayor where av you been, welcome back dear woman of my era... @Mrs Dayo, nice motherly advice for Ahdaisy, @Stanley, hmmm you be our big big uncle oooo...
      Lastly @Ahdasiy, Keep shinning princess!


      Nuff'Said

      Delete
  7. Anonymous6/03/2013

    BTW LNC u ve got yourself a new friend... When ever I see your comment, it reminds me of how i reason (always like i type in my dream and post as LNC..lols)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Chicadimples6/03/2013

    I think we should put our best foot forward at all times, for me, I believe dat even if u won't tell me everytin bout urself on a first date,just don't lie to me!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Queen Bee6/03/2013

    Its not so proper or even going by the rules of social behavior to reveal weird and irritating things about one on a first date,cos as they say first impression last longest.
    And also cos diff pple having diff personalities will react to things differently,so how are u sure ur nature can take the way they react to u?
    Basically I think pple open up to each other at the stage in relationship when they think they are comfy in their skins around each other.and the timing varies might take months or years depending on the kind of pple dey are,and most times that time comes in naturally,dats u are already farting in front of them before u realised u had never done it!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Queen Bee6/03/2013

    Its not so proper or even going by the rules of social behavior to reveal weird and irritating things about one on a first date,cos as they say first impression last longest.
    And also cos diff pple having diff personalities will react to things differently,so how are u sure ur nature can take the way they react to u?
    Basically I think pple open up to each other at the stage in relationship when they think they are comfy in their skins around each other.and the timing varies might take months or years depending on the kind of pple dey are,and most times that time comes in naturally,dats u are already farting in front of them before u realised u had never done it!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Queen Bee6/03/2013

    Pls pple I don't know why my comments come in twice,its not intentional before ya'll will hang me soon for wasting Aunty Eya's space.pls if anyone knows how I can stop it?its irritating me too already.
    I send thru my pone.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Queen Bee6/03/2013

    Pls pple I don't know why my comments come in twice,its not intentional before ya'll will hang me soon for wasting Aunty Eya's space.pls if anyone knows how I can stop it?its irritating me too already.
    I send thru my pone.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous6/03/2013

      Queenbee just press send once n 4get abt it.it will publish after few seconds

      Delete
    2. Queen Bee6/04/2013

      Tanx a lot dear anon 10:12,i usually press once anyway.will mayb learn to press lightly.lol
      Lost my previous pone,guess this is too sensitive.

      Delete
  13. Mrs Morgan@warri6/04/2013

    @Johnson tnk u 4 ur reply to dat anonymums.wisdom does nt com by age,if u want 1 ask d maker nd don't envy ppl who hv it.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Yawning................... Good to know you guys sound nice to Ahdaisy Jayde... @Johnson don't hide that stuff from someone like me ooo cos i will definitely find out in the sharpness and brightness of the day,if my hand doesn't do the magic, then don't bath while am around #cover face#. In all just tell me the truth and if i can stay we are good to go




    Hopping to love myself more than i love anyone

    ReplyDelete

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