My Elder Brother Beat Up My Husband

Hello Aunty Eya,
Thank you and God' blessings. I love your blog and the comments there. Please don't post my name. I have a serious problem on
my hands and don't know what to do. 

Please I need advice from the blog. What can a woman do when her elder brother beats up her husband for beating her?
I don't know which direction to go, please help me with advice.

Comments

  1. Ur husband is a jerk. So, he could beat up a woman but couldn't wrestle down his fellow man! He got beaten up by another man yet he punches a woman. Such a jerk!!!! Everyone should count their loses cos ur husband might do the same thing if a man beat up his sister.

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  2. Good for your wife-beater-husband. That your bro deserves an award jare.

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  3. Tell ur husband sorry. Show him sympathy. Den tel ur broda a biga well don behind ur husbs back. He got his just desert jare. He saw his fellow man n he cnt beat again. Nxt tym ur bro shld beat him 2 pulp n buy him a boxin bag. 4 ur sake I hop ders no nxt tym

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  4. @Ivy: which kain jagbadantis sorry!!!!

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  5. @ nife. She has 2 press all his opopoli wit hot wata na. Shebi he's ha husby? Abi u wnt him 2 giv ha anoda round dis nyt n throw ha out 4 settin ha broda on him? Mtchew she shld mak sure d water is vry vry hot sef

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    Replies
    1. BEKEES5/25/2013

      @IVY Lolz Nah real Hot water like d one wey u go use peel fowl feather hehhehhehe. My 6ta feel free jare.Jst be calm and pretend as if you feel his pain.
      Note: Don't boast about what your brother did to him cos rite now d Guy is angry.But who will pet you for the punches ur husband gave u? Chai Nsi na eme!

      Delete
  6. Anonymous5/25/2013

    If all brothers can take a stand against their sister's abusive husbands,this issue of domestic violence will come to a grinding halt.
    LOL@ Ivy!make the water over boil sef!lol
    And dear poster,thumbs up to ur brother.

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  7. @Ivy: lol. But who will nurse the woman's wounds?

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  8. Anonymous5/25/2013

    My only concer is dat ur husband might beat u up again n how long will ur bro continue to defend u.dis is a serious issue.n I know my bro will do same but I pray I don't ever ever get married 2a man dat beats his wife.I onces dated a guy dat beats me.he did it d 1st time n it took me 2months b4 I went back he was crying n pleading like a little boy n promised neva to try it,n of cos did it again I had 2 break up wit him 4 my own saftey.

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    1. mrs anon4/05/2014

      My dear he will never try it again.. When he knows that somebody is watching him somewhere. the bro will continue to beat him till he learns what he refused to know, that you dont hit a woman.. In fact that is what fits these bullies. Before they kill all d women finish. Better brother jare.

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  9. Johnson5/25/2013

    You need to hail your bros for standing up for you…
    There could be several twists to managing this situation… whichever: your husband has definitely learnt a valuable lesson.
    1. How did your own beating happen – were there witnesses and how did your brother get to know?
    2. Did you witness the bashing of your husband, and how did it happen?
    It might take external persons to settle this scuffle… you might have to stay out (with parents) for a short while and work your way back into the house. Next time he raises his hand, he will remember what happened.

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    1. poster5/25/2013

      No witnesses except our meguard. My brother saw me with a black eye and asked, when I told him, he entered his car and drove off. I didn't know he was going yo meet my husband. I arrived when he was leaving.

      He says I shd ave his house and go marry my brother.

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    2. LOOL. If he was so man enough, why couldn't he beat your brother? So na only for ya body he get power abi? I'm very sure that's how you've been collecting beating while you were still dating. Lesson for all those who are still in abusive relationships.

      Your brother clearly made a statement, which is that he should not think he can beat you anyhow and no one will be able to fight or stand up for you? I'm sure you are aware of stories of husbands that beat up their wives till they killed them one day. I absolutely do not subscribe to you apologising, except he is going to apologise for over reacting and you are going to apologise for doing whatever thing you did (that's if you did a wrong thing o) and he now promises not to ever raise his hand on you again.

      Maybe you should ask your family and his to call a family meeting, with your brother in attendance. To me, that's the solution. Let him say why he beat you, you talk your own, your brother talk him own. Then you guys arrive at a truce. At least if he is insisting on you going with your brother, you'll have people to tune his head in the right direction of him working on the wrong thing he did. What I think sha o.

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    3. Johnson5/25/2013

      Your hubby beat you in front of me-guard - una carry the fight reach outside! Whatever you did to him, abeg no try am again... as for your hubby? He knows better. You need to seek a peaceful way to win your husband back cos your brother no go marry you. Better if no 3rd party is involved; however, if the case pass your power, get your parents involved.

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  10. Good 4 ur husband, am sure he'll be scared to beat you again when he remembers ur snr brother's beating. His ego is bruised already. What is ur husband saying about the issue? What is both families stand?

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  11. Woman, your brother is your guardian angel. Now your hubby knows if he beats you up a second time there's gonna be a follow up.I doubt there'll be a next time. In fact am happy he got beat, I have no pity for wife beaters. Give your bro a high five, tell him thank you and well done. As for hubby, just remain neautral and nurse your own wound. Sebi he beat you too and yourbody hurts?in fact, feign sickness and let the issue die a natural death cause anything you say now will beused against you.

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  12. Omo mehn... E don tey wey I hear dis kain tori.., big ups to ur bro. Some other people will be telling the lady to endure, that it is her fault...mscheeuw!

    But on a more serious note, things must be really awkward between you and hubby. I hope he doesnt get very violent ur you like use weapons, acid and stuff... God forbid!

    Anyway, You guys shud just sit and talk it out. Call a truce and let him promise not to beat you again. Try and make peace with him and ur bro. Let all of you sit down and trash things out verbally....

    ...after that, if he tries to beat you again, tell him... "Papa ***, Abi you don dey start again abi? When I go call my Brada you go know yasef. He go burst ya eye and rearrange your teeth. Hehn....u don dey show yasef abi? In fact, make I go call am..."

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  13. Anonymous5/25/2013

    Chei, my belle dey pain me. Lwkm for these comments.

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  14. Anonymous5/25/2013

    Hahahahah @ jayde's comment! @ posterjust relax, things will work out naturally. And after they do, you can then get your brother to apologise to your husband, so peace will reign. But seriously, your brother must truely love u.. He is 1 in a million. Go nurse your wounds, and forget ur hubby for now.

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    1. Hian!!! Why should the brother apologise? Did the husband apologise to the woman for beating her up ni? And she ought not to tell him any sorry. Did he tell her sorry for beating her up? Abeg, all I can say is that the brother is a genius! I give am correct hand.
      If the hubby knows what is good for him, he will never ever touch the poster again, cos the bro go give am correct beating next time. Na for her to just dey make shakara be that remain. No aplogising anything biko.

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  15. Nobody is blaming the woman, nobody is asking wat she did, though i don't support her hubby beating her. Who told her bro.?
    Woman if u like continue to misbehave bcos u have a Jackie Chan or James bond broda dat is jobless and irresponsible . Why he no first warn am , u dey happy say yr broda beat yr husband, dat is to know dat u ar a bad case.

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    1. Anonymous5/25/2013

      U must be a wife beater...i pity ur gf or wife or even ur sister....

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    2. Anonymous5/25/2013

      @Henny wife beater! Mtscheww am sure you are d poster's husband.#smh

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    3. Anonymous5/25/2013

      With d kind bad mouth wey some WC babes get, I sure sey either their guy go dey beat dem or dem go dey beat der guy. Mi don witness where wife beat husband b4 - for real. The man r-u-n for im life!

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  16. Anonymous5/25/2013

    Kaii...I so luv ur bro. I've got no respect fr a woman-beater irrespective of wat sparkd d beatings. My husband swore he ll never hit me n so far he has bein so true to his words even wen d tension is sooo high. He is my hero, I soo luv him!

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  17. Anonymous5/25/2013

    but u guys dont know what she did to her husband..I am a woman and we have terrible mouths,geez! I'm not in support of your husband beating you but neither am i in support of your brother interfering in your home.This will always be a recurring issue in future.

    Left for me,it would have been more honorable for your father to warn him against touching his daughter......Jane

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    1. Anonymous5/25/2013

      @Jane so he should kill her first before her brother will intervene.#smh

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    2. Anonymous5/26/2013

      @Jane, what she did that deserved a beating? Hmmm, there was this story of a middle aged woman who was beaten by her son for not preparing dinner on time. She lamented that she was also physically and emotionally abused by her husband. I am also very sure that her father beat her as a child. She was asking in her story when she will be free of being beaten by the men in her life.smh...so sad

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  18. Anonymous5/25/2013

    Thumbs up to ur brother. Next time wen he remember d punches he received,he'll never try beating u again.
    For u Henny, u r a complete wife beater. No matter wat she did he has no right to beat her. Is there no other way of showing displeasure for wrong doing apart from beating d woman?

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous5/25/2013

      Some women mouth bad sha...

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    2. Anonymous5/27/2013

      Some men brain and hand bad shaa

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  19. @Poster, you need to seek out way to make peace with hubby - your mighty igor brother will not put you in his house...
    You no tell us how you take provoke your atom ant husband...

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  20. Anonymous5/25/2013

    So she deserves beating because she provoked her husband....Unu oji otele eche echiche. Why didn't he beat up her brother same way if he has power ...Was he not provoked same way. Akuola the Man ihe...Simple. Let the Man lick his pains. Nne Jiri nwayo you (take style and beg) the man and kiss that your brother for me....Correct Man.

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  21. Anonymous5/25/2013

    People in the house,let's leave the praises showered on the 'Bruce Almighty'brother and ask the lady the cause of the beatings,how many times the beatings has occured,was he like that before they got married,how did the incident occur and after the beating how have they been living.

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    1. Anonymous5/25/2013

      No matter what, you can never justify beating your wife. Shei his colleagues in is office sometimes offend him? He should go about beating them and see where he will land. Yeye

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  22. FATHER!!!!!! Pls give me such a brother pls

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  23. Anonymous5/25/2013

    http://www.stelladimokokorkus.com/2013/05/domestic-violence-dairy.html

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  24. I wonder why u are confused dear poster, ur bro did well biko.....Do permit me from deviating but dear Wc fam I really do need ur advice I'm going crazy
    I'm a pretty young lady with a good heart, that I don't have a relationship baffles a lot of people , my mum is worried but I'm not.
    The thing is I barely like d men I meet put sometimes I meet d one's I like but they r so badly behaved and being a perfectionist I invest so much in relationships to make it work but wen I get to my break point nothing changes my mind....enuff of intro d main gist
    About 6wks ago a close frnd hooked me up wt a guy we gt tlkn at first I was reluctant cos d whole getting to meet someone and later dosent work out process is just draining but in this cas e twas good we've made steady progress although we aren't dating yet, we r waiting to see one on one to discuss dt but I really do have strong feelings for him although I'm not in love yet and he too seems like we r on d same boat" feelings wise" d issue
    1)we tlk like all d time , everytime but lately he barely calls like bfre , he calls but bot like bfre that he calls or texts first tin in d a.m and tins nw I do that , he can wake and lock up till mayb I ping or call and he'll rply
    2)The first 2wks he sent me crdt steady and I nver asked for a day but suddenly stopped, its not an issue cos I still call him on a steady basis but I'm just wondering y he stopped
    3)he's begining to make me feel that I'm d one holding us in place dnt get me wrong he shows care but compare to bfre thers a drastic diff , I call , text, vn everytin we usually do to keep us going at least till we see but I'm getting tired , I feel so drained . I fear I'll get to my break point of caring too much and not getting d same treatment then I'll snap and not want him any longer so its a constant struggle these days.....yday we barely spoke I called at intervals later I learnt he went out and all, ds morn no call nothnin I still called and he dint pick. Den he pinged and said he's busy bla bla I left him . We spoke briefly via bbm den eventually called ds night . I told him I really missed u and I dnt like dis lack of communication tingy he said if he dosnt tlk to me I should knw his busy meanwhile last wk I had a course thus I was busy altho I still kept in touch, one day I was off radar he flipped! So nw I'm wondering what's up....I'm confused cos I like him and I fear I'll snap out soon , he's begining to act too comfy and I dnt like it an he's making me feel I'm trying too much but in real sense I'm a naturaly caring person ......Dear wc fam members pls help ur girl wht do u suggest ....sorry for d epistle sha oh! Aunty Eya goodevening #kisses

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    1. Anonymous5/26/2013

      Don't call him for sometime for your dignity sake. I have always learnt that Men that are too busy to call you are not too busy to call some other girls. Give him some space,you guys just started before he starts thinking that you are desperate.

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    2. Anonymous5/26/2013

      I don't get it, you already falling for someone you are yet to see, the feeling is a strange one. I'd suggest you wait till you see him before you start investing emotionally... Some people are not just worth our precious time. I'm also in the same boat but not feeling wise. The guy stays in a different state from me and is yet to come and see me. My dear, if he comes and i like him, we can start feeling 'warrefa' but until then, I'm not in a hurry. If he can act this way without seeing you, how do you think he will act when he finally sees you (especially if you aren't what he expected to see)? Have some self respect sweedie.

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  25. Anonymous5/26/2013

    Tell him wat u feel n also tell him if its a test its ok cos ull flip very soon n change ur mind. Iv bin in dis kind of situation n I let mine linger 4 too long n by the time he tot I had passed d test I had lost interest so let him knw now.#no time#

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    1. Tnks dear, I had tht in mind but I dint want to so it won't seem like I'm already nagging o, bcos weneva we tlk nw d next tin we will b labelled as one but I'll do that tnks much.

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  26. Alero, I feel he's either losing interest or testing you.

    Is it possible for you to also ignore him for sometime? That is no call, no text messages, no chatting etc? I know it'll be difficult but can you try?

    We both share similar traits too; if I feel I'm doing more of the keeping in touch and the other is just lackadaisical, I withdrawn.

    Also, no matter how busy I might be, I'll definitely keep in touch but when he doesn't do same, I feel I'm overdoing it so I take a break and assume the sidon look style.

    If he's really really into you, he will contact you to find out the sudden hiatus from your side. Then you can have that intimate talk and say your mind!

    Wish you well babes!

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    1. Oh dear, I've just been treading softly Jare cos we've not seen.Truth is I dnt think I can totally lock up tbh but I can only rply to his calls and texts wen he decides to , dt I can definitely do. Its funny cos just one day I blanked him "although" not intentional he didn't like it one bit.

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  27. Good morning Alero, thank you for deviating this post eh?
    Also try not to be like too clingy and over possessive. Try to do a little thinking and see if you have occupied too much his time with YOU.

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  28. Hi Alero good morning.

    I just think you should really pray about your situation,then relax. Your own will come,without stress,and he WILL STAY interested in you.

    If any man is giving you stress,leave him be. When he needs you he will come look for you. Its Way too Early for the man to be acting this comfy,he's supposed to be all over you and trying to get YOUR attention.

    Don't Worry dear. Send him the occasional text to find out if he's ok. No calls or anything.Let Him Look For You.

    Don't worry dear. The one who will stay interested in you will come. its the man who has been mandated to "Find" you. So just stay pretty,work on yourself,and wait to be found! :)

    Don't forget love,keep praying about this whole situation. All the best!

    www.soulspasms.com

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous5/26/2013

      Aunty soul spasms pls try to update ur blog most frequently na? Y wld u write interesting stories n leave me(us) hanging? I don taya to beg u o

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    2. Lmaooo. Pele. By the way una go read una no go gree drop comment.I dey vex! ( ˘˘̯) (˘~˘)

      Lmao. Sorry dear I've been busy. I repent henceforth. Expect more juicy stuff from me tomorrow!! :)

      Drop comment o! ( ˘˘̯)

      LoooL!

      www.soulspasms.com

      Delete
  29. Gmorn blog fam ...Tnks Aunty Eya,Ruby,Souls and d various anonymouses.Points noted, appreciate ur advice dis morn I just prayed wt mum about the whole issue d poor woman is so worried and suddenly after d prayer boy did I feel relieved.Everything good will come I knw , Do have a lovely day all .

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  30. Anonymous5/26/2013

    Alero dear,IMO maybe this guy is one dat dosent like distance love... He is prolly losing interest because u ve not met.. Try to arrange for a meeting soon and you shld talk about urselves nd see if u both are compatible before u let ur feelings advance or move to the next stage.. But mst importantly, dnt b too pusy about getting in touch with him.. Give him space but not too much.. Aboveall be yourself and make sure u are happy... @poster, dnt encourage ur brother butbut .. Remember u r married for better for worse... So talk to ur husband about it(he shld respect ur feelings) nd make him see reasons with you above all pray for the salvation of his soul.... God help you.... Dats y I stillsay I cnt marry a man dat my love superceds his... Cuz I dnt want ny marital problem when its time ....

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  31. @poster, your husband got served. You should forgive and forget tho.

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  32. Anonymous5/27/2013

    Choi ds srs ooo....voodoo again on d internet...hian

    ReplyDelete

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