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Re: We Never Get Along In Public, What Do I do? Reply From Nelly

Good Morning Aunty Eya,
Thank you for putting my mail on your blog. Thank you for giving me an opportunity to learn through your blog. Thanks to all who rendered advise to me. I am most grateful. I learnt a lot and am still learning. I still have a little problem though. I really want to work on my image. The comments told me the truth about myself, especially
Ahdaisy's comment, I had to copy it for you to see and help me out:
"the second part which most of us dont like to hear is, have you become unattractive? too much weight? Ugly clothes? unattractive hairstyles? I'm sorry to sound this way but it is the truth! Dress for your age not status! if you are in your 20s, dress like a fabulous 20-something year old not like a 'married woman'. How a married woman should look is overrated. Make sure you are decent but on top of your game. Oga cannot ignore his wife when other man are staring at her!

what of your character? Are you timid? are you shy? do you speak well? can you hold a meaningful conversation? Do you contribute to an intellectual discussion or you just sit there smiling? are you razz? are you clingy? all these things matter. If people like to be around you every where you go, DH will want to be in the picture. carry yourself well, walk tall, shoulders squared with ur best smile. Practice smiling in front of a mirror till you get the perfect I-AM-GREAT smile! (NO be joke O)"


To be honest, I memorised this part of Ahdaisy's comment so I don't forget. It spoke directly to me in the area of * wearing ugly clothes* I don't really know but I think I wear ugly clothes at home. I have so many clothes, I sew all the time yet, when I am at home, I can't find a suitable dress to wear.


For work and outing, I have more than enough formal wears. When it comes to dressing fabulous, simple and attractive at home, I have no clue. Basically I wear jeans and top at home. Jeans and top don't give me the kind of look I want to have and I don't know how to get it. When I open my wardrobe to dress down, all I see are clothes I can wear out, to work or church. 


I need help please. How do I get to make or shop for house wears? Aunty Eya, please you or someone help me with a kind of guide on what I need towear to look trendy at home. I am tired of jeans and top at home. When I put on my outing wears to stay home, I feel so uncomfortable that I undress almost immediately. For my hair, I braid or make bob marley. A times I fix just any weavon I buy from the market. I can't afford Brazillian now, what can I do to my hair to make it look chic? ( I work in a private organisation, the pay is not much).


If you or any one can help me out pls I need to know like what kind of dresses to wear when I stay home on holidays, weekends and during annual leave. 

Should I wear high heels at home, like how many pairs do I need pls? Should I wear sandals or my usual slippers?

I am 35 and do not think I should go about with bum shorts that I never wore even when I was younger. 

Please, Please kindly help me upgrade my image.
Kindly post it on your blog. Thank you.
Nelly

To see Nelly's earlier post, GO HERE

Comments

  1. and wu says you cannot wear bumshorts around the house when ur husband alone is there?? Madam you better charter bum shorts in wholesale and put some spice in your marriage..

    You can visit this fashion blog http://emanuelam.blogspot.co.uk/

    you could get Ideas and lots of banner Ads on there where you can get nice outfits..
    wear comfortable slippers at home not bathroom slippers nice flip flops there are even the beautified ones with sequins roses and lots of decorations,if you braid your hair pack it well,beatify it, its not everyone that will fix brazilain or kenyan or so..lol.. Even your natural hair give it a good perm and pack it well no big deal

    you want to be comfortable at home so get some nice tees or even lovely kaftans not the mama ones ohhh the trendy ones that you will look decent and comfortable in..

    Take recipes from here cook good food,dress well,put all the spice back ma'am and watch things improve..

    All the best!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. u hv said it all

      Delete
    2. ****Mufasa Said4/05/2013

      My dear since u said ur take home pay is nt much, go and chater some quality second hand clothes both for social outing and just relaxing @ home. (I'll advice u to go to the market wt someone hu is a bit hip for your age bracket) nothing overly exposing (if uv gained weight, ur husband may not like to see d excess). If ur going to the market, pls don't do those bubus or ugly kaftans, always keep urself lookin sexy make sure u take ur bath in d morning and evening. Neva leave ur house wtpot takin a shower. Neva leave ur armpit hair unattended. U don't need to spend so much on ur hair, but always make sure d hair style hasn't stayed too long that it starts to smell.

      All in all, act like ure still in a relationship and everyday is anoda day to look beautiful for him. All d best

      ****Mufasa Said

      Delete
  2. Cool....

    For dressing at home, my sister that thing no easy o. With all the heat and work. But try sha. Since you sew, I sew too, look for light cotton material and sew gowns. You can buy cheap ones, I usually use normal cotton sold as lining. A yard is like 140 here, so I buy it then use cheap trimmings to design it.. With two yards, you can sew smthing nice. Like a knee-length sun dress with deep necklines(to showcase ur cleavage ;-) ) . To me bums shorts are not comfortable cos I like a little ventilation down below...lol. So you can also buy some light lycra material and sew long flowy gowns..again, leave the top part small and revealing. You can sew chiffon blouses, no lining, just wear a nice bra underneath. But when visitors come, go and change o...hehehe...

    You can get nice t-shirts or make cutouts in the ones you have if they are big. Check on YouTube for ways to restyle Tees. A lot of them are for teenagers but you'll see some that are age-appropriate for you.

    For ur hair, I have never bought brazillian or whatever. There are other cheap weaves that look good. Like Chocolate, Outre (the original Indonesia-made one), Pro-10, and Ladystar. These are all less than 10k for the two packs.. Look for a good hairstylist. Also research nice hairstyles for your face shape. If you have an oval shaped face then most good hairstyles will fit you.. You can still rock ur braids. It's such low maintenance, no brushing and you can pack it anyhow of heat becomes too much. You can also rock ur natural hair. My hub says I look best with my natural hair but that one na long thing o. I think many men feel that way sha. So you can set your natural and play with the curls. Or just pull everything back especially if you have a healthy hairline.

    No heels at home. Look for fine flipflops. Get a pedicure. Use pretty colours on ur nails. I like jewel tones. You can leave your fingers bare just make sure your nails are well groomed.

    Wear light make up. Just fill in ur brows, apply mascara, light blush on cheeks (but if you are dark skinned skip that one), on your lips take ur favorite lipstick, put a little at the back of ur palm, then blend it with a good moisturizer or ori, sheabutter. Apply on ur lips. It keeps ur lips moisturized with a hint of colour. Wear earrings. Like little studs or small clip-on.

    Use body spray, not perfume, at home. I use Victoria secret, I dunno if it's original, I bought it in lag but the fragrance lasts long and it's light so it does not assault the senses of those around you. There are other nice body sprays sha.

    There shouldnt be much difference between clothes for a 25 yr old and a 35 yr old. The only difference is that you are a little more covered up. While at home, wear whatever makes you feel pretty. When you feel pretty, you look pretty, he sees pretty.

    Hope that helped. :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's Victoria Secrets Body Mist and Body Spray.

      *bumshorts

      Delete
  3. kendra4/04/2013

    Who says u can't wear bum shorts at home.. U can! U can choose the free ones or the tight ones.. Buy nice body tops and u are good to go... Wear fine short gowns that are not too tight to give u free movement and comfort at home.. U can still wear ur jeans and top but not all the time.. Leggins and top is good for the house too,not neccessarily long tops,short tops would do just fine to show case ur figure well.. Don't wear heels at home o,that only happens in naija movies,wear flip flops at home,but u can still go on bare feet if ur house isn't the type u wear slippers in the living room.

    As for ur face,please,that's where the beauty lies,do nice and simple makeup. Foundation on the face(the appropriate shade),ur normal puwder,fill in ur brows,natural colour eyeshadow,that looks like nothing is there,mascara then a lip gloss...

    As for ur hair,u must not use brazilian hair before u look beautiful,u can buy other weaves,like chocolate and premium(the original)and others. Figure the kinda face u have and do what is good for ur face,don't just do any hairstyle bcos it looks nice on someone,make sure u ask ur stylist if itss good for ur face. Who says u can rock ur bob marley? U can. So do it and give it different style of packing,u can do side bun,center bun,or even pack it up,just keep changing the style and please make sure u don't wear hair net at home unless if u are abt to cook. U made the hair to look beautiful for ur hubby,why cover it again?

    Buy a nice body spray,there are lots of body spray,if u can't buy the expensive ones,there are good body spray for like 400 I think,so buy it and smell nice. Make sure ur nails are always painted that's if u are the type that paint nails,some women say is against there religion but hey,u have to look good for ur man or someone else would do it for him and u don't want that happening

    Try all this,if ur hubby don't start looking at u everyday,then he has a problem.

    ReplyDelete
  4. They've said it all and like the last poster said, if after doing all those stuffs, he still doesn't look at you the something is seriously wronguyen with him.

    (Even me don learn 1 or 2 things from the responses. Off I go to turn my old jeans to bum shorts, Will make a nice change from the normal shorts *wink*)

    Ahdaizy, nice one.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Very good tips here o. I'm so guilty of this, anything goes while I'm in d comfort of my home but I need 2 upgrade soon o, my hair is under my hair net once I step into d house until I'm going out next (very bad habit). Infact this is a blessing in disguise for me.

    ReplyDelete
  6. And don't be tying wrapper at home.......most importantly, don't go to bed straight from the kitchen smelling of soup.

    #NuffSaid

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hilarious comment! Lol@ don't go to bed straight from the kitchen smelling of soup! Have learnt a new one

      Delete
  7. Anonymous4/04/2013

    Here r my simple tips...
    1. Go shopping for clothes(I will suggest an O.K-used clothes seller cos d variety and quality is der 4 ur stay at home clothes) and dey must include--
    ---sleeveless fitting or flowing colourful tops
    -- fitted T-shirts in nice colours and designes
    -- slippers with nice designs and colours as well
    --- yes... BUMSHORTS!!! You might b the shy type that insnt confident to show those cellulite thighs to ur hubby, but 4get that cos the man has seen u finish and bliv me, d only thing he will be checking out is ur perky buttocks in dem shorts without even noticing ur cheesy thighs.
    ---- if u r d kind with a protuding belly, try to avoid tops that r too tight.
    i will suggest u buy nice sleeveless, free-above the knee- dresses. The shorter the dress, the better. Let him hav an eyefull!
    2. Plss shave ur armpits and legs always.
    3. I recommedn SURE rollon. i dont like SURE body spray cos of that annoying white mark. Also use BODY FANTASY body spray NOT perfume, dey smell absolutely sweet and devine and der r a lot of flavours to choose from.
    4. For your hair, as long as ur braids is neat, den u need not worry, just make sure its tied properly and isnt old so that wen u lean on ur hubby, he wont be smelling unwashed hair and even if ur hair isnt made, just make sure its relaxed and well brushed, tied in a knot and u r good to go.
    5. As for makeup.. u absolutely should not wear FOUNDATION! u r at home for heavensake, all you need is a bit of white powder, make sure ur brows r lined and not empty or half like wen u wr going to bed. And den a bit of clear lipgloss. You do not need mascara, eyeshadow or anything else. U R AT HOME!!!
    6. MAKE SURE THE HOUSE IS ALWAYS NEAT. Step outside ur house and walk back in again, if d first thing u smell is garbage, den get a sweet- smelling airwick airfreshner and leave at every corner of the house.
    7. Since u will b at home a lot, make sure u have a nice pot of stew or soup cooking or cooked or even bake a cake or pie. ITS ALWAYS WELCOMING.
    Sorry abt d essay.. hope dis helps u becoming dat sexy hot mama that u secretly r, pls unleash ur inner sex kitten.

    ReplyDelete
  8. U are in ur home! U can wear shorts o. Or playsuits. T shirts and shorts, Or Day dresses. Thr are nice flat sandals too. Ofcourse u can't wear heels at home. Braid nicely. Do short rihanna style. Black elegant weavon or chocolate isn't dat expensive. Or relax ur hair and tong it. Smell nice look pretty. Don't be laid back. U can even wear ur husbands tshirts sometyms. Has a sexy look. Wear d right bra size so u don't look droopy. He'll so love you!

    ReplyDelete
  9. gloexcel4/04/2013

    Hmmmmmm!!! Nice 1. I ve learnt alot of tinz.cnt wait 2 be married so dat i can practice,. *wink*

    ReplyDelete
  10. Mrs anon3/26/2014

    Lol. I have this faded wrapper that I tie at home(coverinmyeyes) my hubby has complained about it so much but Im just so attached to it. He even gave me money to buy anew one and I didn't... I must get rid of it asap. So shameful I know...

    ReplyDelete

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