10 Blog Guidelines By Moji

Hello Joy Ojay,
Well done with what you've done with the blog, I have been blessed by the various interactions so far. I first started reading your blog about 2 months ago and I like the feeling of the support system that the blog seems to offer women (married or not). I am however
a little bothered that we have become harsh in our comments and advice to people that contact us with certain issues.
It’s not peculiar to this blog I must say, it’s a Nigerian thing. We have a way of saying it like it is which is a good thing but sometimes we choose to “say it like it is” in the harshest way possible (I'm guilty of this sometimes as well.) In light of this I came up with a list of things I felt should be guidelines for posting comments and interactions with each other. We don't want to give the impression that when someone comes to us for help they will get insulted and abused thereby discouraging people that genuinely need the support system that this blog has become.
I know some people may try to take advantage of this to get enabling for bad behaviour but if we at least try to be fair and objective and above all say the truth for what it is we can be sure that we have done our part.

  • We should try not to insult or use condescending / abusive language to others.
  • We should always give objective and candid advice/opinions not based on our own biases.
  • We should not draw conclusions or make assumptions about anyone's story, we will give everyone that have contacted us for advice the benefit of the doubt.
  • Human beings are flawed and we all do wrong things, the fact that someone has done something wrong and has come to us for help is a sign that they at least want to make some change. Some bad habits are like addictions, you know it’s wrong, you want to stop but you are weak and you need the support of others to break the bond.
  • Let’s treat each other with dignity and respect, comment to others only the way you would like to be commented to.
  • Don't mince words, be frank and truthful but remember you can choose to do this respectfully.
  • Remember that people with “stupid” situations or that have done something bad didn't have to come to us for advice, they chose to. Let’s treat them with respect.
  • If we disagree with someone’s opinion, we can say so without being confrontational.
  • If someone disagrees with our comment, that's fine there is no need to get defensive we can just let it be or provide additional insight to your initial opinion which might be useful in gaining an understanding to your perspective.
  • We all have challenges that at least one person in this world would consider dumb, or wrong. Let’s be empathetic to others.
I pray the Lord help us all in our individual journeys in life.
God bless you wonderful women (and men) for at least caring enough to be here to provide advice to others.



  1. Anonymous4/22/2013

    Nice one. This abuse thing is all over and not just 9ja only.

  2. Thankss for this..its nt just a nija thing..its an individual thing..respectin oda people nd been sensitive to their feelings especiali in our words..we fail to always remember dat dere is power in d tongue..nd on dat tongue lies d power of death nd life
    .God help us

  3. Yeah, it's not just a naija thingy. Thank God we dnt have 'race' issues here or else, we wudav seen worse. Thanks for the guidelines. I know I am guilty of trying to make people see reasons with why I said what so that they don't attack me for no reason. Like I have learnt today, it doesn't matter what another person chooses to think. Just be polite.

    It is darkest, just before dawn. I'm sure we'll all be better from now on.

  4. Anonymous4/22/2013

    Oh pls, we don't need guidelines on how 2 make comments. Its a free forum and the aim is to air your opinion. Whether you like it or not, there will still be bad comments. Nothing can be done about it. Its left for Eya to post it or not. If you go on foreign sites like youtube and Mediatakeout then you will praise nigerians for being nice. On those blogs, they say worse about race, sexuality, feminity and nobody censores the comments. Pls let's stop with the holier than thou attitude. If you bliv you can't handle the negative comments then stop visiting blogs. Just imagine a blog with only nice comments, won't you think there's something wrong? You can not do anything abt bad comments. So just deal with it. Everyone keeps moaning 'can't we all get along', if u want to get along do it in your home and not where you are pouring ur opinions with strangers. Enough with this goodie goodie. I'm sick of it.

  5. Mamy Black4/22/2013

    I believe we'r ol mature here n should stp ol dis insults n bn selfish.these ppl run here 4 advice n wot do dey get at d end?insults upon insults,personally I feel it's vry unfair n esp d way u ppl attack 1 anoda.we shld b more responsible n respectabl cos we'r ol humans n ve made 1 mistake or d oda in our lives.tnx Sis.

  6. Thanks so very much,it will do us so much good if we can adhere to this guideline.we stand to gain so much when there's peace.
    Coz its not everybody that can endure insults,as for me I don't even know what anybody will tell me,that will get to me. Its a very weak emotion,lets do away with it.

    ~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA3310

  7. I've never been one to support snide comments or insults so I understand where this is coming from BUT its sadly not a Nigerian thing. There's so much hatred all over the internet, its appalling.
    That said, the best we can do as individuals is to ignore these comments. As long as comments aren't moderated, there'll always be people who choose to air their views however they please. So just skim through and move on.
    I can never understand how you can let someone you've never met in real life piss you off to the extent that you start insulting them.
    Just my two cents.

  8. @Anon 12.28: Yes, there is hate all over the internet, but this blog is different and we are all clear on what it stands for, it is different from youtube or any of those u mentioned. No one is stoping u from speaking ur mind but we can all do away with the insults. If u can't respect the guidelines, u can't withold ur coment. Why is it so easy to say things that might never be told to that person if u were to meet face to face? Its cowardice. No point hiding behind the internet to spit venom

  9. Anonymous4/23/2013

    Yes ooo I agree, bt unfortunately pple wld still post bad comment n dats human nature. But d question to ask is, am I really better off than d person askin 4 advise- like d biblical phrase "he who hath not sin, cast d 1st stone".

    A story 2 buttress. I remember d case of Cynthia d pretty gal who met some1 on facebook and got killed by dat same person, pple calld her a prostitute n dat she deserved it, bt when I lookd into my life, I realised it cld have been me. Growing up, I ws always a good gal n one day I felt I needed a thrill of adventure then startd meeting up wit contact 4rm FB, 2go n so on but God really saved me. My point is dat if I ws d Cynthia pple wld have abused n called me a slut bt am nt, am keepin myself pure n holy n even a virgin. So really let's be careful hw we judge or castigate pple. Thanks


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