Now I know My Case Is Different In Marriage

Hello Eya, I have been following your blog for about three months. Reading that blog makes me happy I don't know why. God is using that blog to bless our homes. I like the way women open up on your blog. People say things freely like they are talking with close family members. One reason I commend you for that blog is because many Nigerian wives want to talk but do not know where to go. We don't want third parties in our marriages. We need people like Marriage counsellors but don't know where to find them. I live in Lagos and do not know any office where I can just walk in and get marriage counselling except talk with my pastor. Church leaders are trying, but sometimes, it feels like meeting a professional or talking to and listening to other women's experiences. Your blog provides that atmosphere where we get to hear from different people with different views and learn something. I have learnt so much since I started visiting wives connected.
May your family continue to experience God's divine peace.

The way our men treat women is really depressing and because of the stories and counsels I have read on your blog, I am writing this as  dedication
to my husby and other very few good men out there. 

Dear Ladies, from what I see in our country Nigeria and other African countries, I think my case is different. My marriage is not like what I see. Sorry to say that but not all men are actually violent or disrespectful.

My husband has been good to the family, for the 15 years I have stayed married to this man, He has never hurt me. We still have our challenges and misunderstandings like every other human relationship, but he has never done something or acted in a way that made me feel maltreated.
17 years ago when I met him, I was still a virgin and an undergraduate. He was my first and last boyfriend. I was in my third year when we met and he agreed to wait for me. This is a man who is about 10 years older than I am, at the time we met, he was ready for marriage. Yet agreed to wait for my graduation from the University.

After our wedding, we wanted to start a family immediately but it didn't happen until after 6 years. All those years of TTC, he stood by me, protected me securely from his family attacks. He made sure I was happy(even though many times I wasn't, he still tried his best.
This is a man who bought me a car before buying his. The first time he ever got an official car, he handed the keys over to me in the presence of everyone. I was shocked and so were my friends and even his colleagues. His driver became my personal driver because he says he doesn't like to be driven by anyone. This man cares so much about my comfort. He celebrates my birthdays every year with expensive wrist watches, jewelry and other gadgets, I have given out so may knowing that every year I'd get another.
For all those trying years before babies stated coming, he kept saying that whether we have kids or not, he will stay with me because he knows he disvirgined me and there was no way I'd have done anything bad to my womb.

The first time I ever got pregnant, my husband gave me a blank cheque to shop for baby items. I didn't believe my eyes when he signed and put that cheque in my hands. He bought a car for my parents and spoils my siblings silly. He knows my parents are not poor, yet when siblings come for holidays, he gives them all they need for the next semester not minding that my parents will still give them. Right now we have four kids and he doesn't joke with them. When I shop for our kids, he complains, he feels I go for quantity and not quality. When he gives me money to shop for myself, it's in the hundreds of thousands. Knowing that I am  a saving freak, he tries to monitor, just to ensure that I buy quality items for myself.

If I am to come back to this world in my next generation  I will want to meet and marry him again. I don;t think I love my husband the way he loves me. I actually don;t miss him the way I should but he cannot stay a month without seeing me. When I go to spend time with my parents, he comes looking for me to take back even when the agreement says 2 weeks or  longer. I can't remember him denying me anything he can provide, He tries his best to meet my demands, the only time I ask and don't get is when it's beyond his power. God bless my husband and keep him alive for us.

All my life, I have never worked anywhere, he won't allow me. I had my second degree in his house during the waiting years. I got bored and went back for my masters, obtained it and wanted to work somewhere but he is ready to pay me that salary while I stay home.
Whatever happens dear ladies, there are still good men in Nigeria.
Eya please post this to your blog so that other women especially the single women will know that all hope is not lost. My case is different in all areas of my marriage. The happiest years of my life are my marital years.
Helen

Comments

  1. Anonymous3/22/2013

    Wow! Really........ur truely blessed. Thank u 4 sharing, its always great hearing marriage 'success stories'. May God continue being da centre of ur home

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  2. You're right, it is usually the worrisome stories we hear more often, but the good men and good marriages are there too. I totally believe this and I thank you for sharing.

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  3. Anonymous3/22/2013

    Thank you for sharing.
    Amen to your prayer.

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  4. thank God for you. God bless and keep you and yours...

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  5. Jazmyn3/22/2013

    Very encouraging.Thanks

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  6. Anonymous3/22/2013

    I key into ur marriage o. Mine is goin to be like it n even better. Amen. Thanks 4 sharing I was getting discouraged from all the stories I've bin hearing. Thanks again

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  7. Anonymous3/23/2013

    Lovely,may God continue 2 strenghten ur marriage.

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  8. Abiola3/23/2013

    Lovely,men of such still exist buh not many....God will continue 2 bless him 4 U̶̲̥̅̊ &ur family. U̶̲̥̅̊ both will live long 2 reap d fruit of U̶̲̥̅̊я labour,‎​S̶̲̥̅Ơ̴̴̴̴̴̴͡ shall It be 4 me 2 in M̶̲̥̅γ̲̣̣̥ marriage. U̶̲̥̅̊ are lucky 2 av him dear.

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  9. Thanks for sharing. there are definitely good men and good marriages. May God continue to bless your family!

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  10. Awww! quite heart attending story,thats the type of man I wish my sisters and every other lady.

    ~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA3310

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous3/23/2013

      Thank u bona,God will give u a good wife!I strongly bliv so.n also thank u madam 4sharing,u no my fiance is like ur hubby,sweet,kind,generous,loving,caring,he's sole focus is on how we wud build our home,even wen his sibling complain about me,he doesn't want2hear of it!he defends me 2d last,loves my family too,so much so dat he has said I'll leave my car behind4my siblings wen we marry n drive his b4 he can buy anoda 1 4me! bt God knows av bin scared dat mayb he'll change wen we marry bcos of all d stories av bin hearing n reading!bt av bin praying and 4biding it,I want 2bliv in 15yrs tym I'll av dis same testimony!By his grace!well done sis envy,av tantalised my boo with a lot of ur dishes!can't wait2av my own kitchen 2experiment more!

      Delete
    2. Anonymous3/23/2013

      Sis eya*lol

      Delete
    3. Anonymous9/24/2013

      wow! u r like in a thousand. I thank God for ur husband as i read this i smile and i say My own shall come .( Amen)

      Delete
  11. I thank God for you and I pray that God will give me this kind of man. Amen

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  12. ​Ɣε̲̣̣̣̥§ oº°˚˚˚°º , good men r out there. Lots of them. Mine is one of them, if not d best sef. I'm happily in love & blessed, 8 yrs & still counting. May God continue to keep our marriages & deliver those that their marriages r bad.

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  13. Wow...so lovely. Yes o, once in a while, women with good marriages should come and share so that our single ladies will not be discouraged about marriage and settle for just anybody. There are really good men in the world. God bless your marriage even more!

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  14. thank you so much for sharing. i'm still single and praying so hard that God bless me with a good man. I've told God that instead of me to be with an abusive and a cheating man, let me stay single till i die. there are few good men and i believe that my future hubby is one of them.

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  15. Wow! This is so encouraging. Thanks for sharing.

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  16. Congrats dearie! God bless your marriage in Jesus name, thanks for sharing.

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  17. The good Lord that has given you such a blessing will continue to keep it IJN.

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  18. Anonymous3/23/2013

    Thank you for sharing this story... I keep praying for the good Lord to bless me with a good man as I get hurt very easily.. May the Lord bless and keep you both together 4ever

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  19. MrsAjaryee3/23/2013

    So encouraging and heart-lifting xpecially for d single ones out dr; I had alwz knwn dr r gud hubbys out dr cuz I'm so lucky I'm married 2one of such: single ladies, shine ur eyes n pray vry well: It is nt by power nor by might; may God bless n keep our homes IJN

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  20. I claim this happy marriage In Jesus name Amen. May your marriage grow sronger with each passing day Amen. Thanks so much for sharing. There's still home for single ones like us.

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  21. May God continue to bless your home.
    My hubby makes me very happy too,to God's glory. Celebrated 5th year anniversary yesterday.
    When my banking job got too stressful,he ensured i resigned in 2009 and was giving me my salary equivalent for 3 year s while i pursued masters degree,i lecture now and only go to work once or twice a week.

    Surely every relationship have its challenges,but no maltreatments or violence. My man is soooo good that i don't tell my family nor friends ,as yoruba,it's believed that ti isu eni .ba,aman da owo bo ni ,i.e you keep your blessings to yourself.

    May God bless the singles here to find their own true love.

    Aunty Eya,you have one of the most matured set of followers,the other blog's are filled with haters that find nothing good in anything.

    Nice weekend

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  22. Anonymous3/23/2013

    And to think i share d same name with u and i am still a virgin, i key into ur marrige, i will have a wonderful husband as urs. Amen

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  23. Anonymous3/23/2013

    And to think i share d same name with u and i am still a virgin, i key into ur marrige, i will have a wonderful husband as urs. Amen

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    Replies
    1. Pls just keep your virginity intact,because as a man we talk about the kind of women we want to settle down with.I was shocked when I heard my friends saying if they eventually meet a good virgin(lady)they will treat her like a queen for the rest of her life because he doesn't have to worried about her past issues with men.Ever since then,my eyes now opened.The husband of these poster was been driven by the trust(as a virgin) he had in her,that is why he sacrifice a lot for her and ready to do more.Men can imagine a lot most especially when you knew that you are not the first man to visit her junction.

      Delete
  24. Wow! I love this . My dear, i thank God for your marriage and ur hubby, u are indeed lucky, it's good to read stories like this once in a while so that the single ones will know that marriage is not as bad as the negative stories flying around makes it seem. There are loads of good men out there, and the single ladies have the opportunity to meet them once they ask God for help.

    It's also good to hear the negative stories so that you can mentally assess and compare with yours and see that urs is not that bad, then you know what areas to work on.

    Eya, if i haven't said this before........thank you for your blog, it's so refreshing.

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  25. Anonymous3/23/2013

    Wow. I am so happy for you. Nice inspirational story. Thanks for posting this. Meanwhile ladies,I want to teach you this meal I learnt how to prepare....I would have kept it a secret but the largeness of my heart won't let me. So I walked into Mr biggs,ordered a plate of yam and it was so tasty...I decided I must make mine. YAM, Veg.oil(depends), Eggs,quarter cube of knor,curry,little crayfish,salt,thyme. I had to slice my yam then boil my yam first with a little salt,then break my egg inside a bowl add all the ingredients inside it and whisk it. Later bring out the sliced boiled yam and put inside the bowl of egg and turn it,then heat up the frypan pour in your veg oil and when it is bleached,put your sliced boiled yam with some eggs and allow to fry for a while...Your meal is read. I wish I can send you a detailed mail with pictures but we were so hungry and i needed to make an easy but different meal with my Yam...Nxt time . From Madam great

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  26. Anonymous3/23/2013

    Happy for you Abena.

    On a second thought Aunty Eya, would this not make women with challenges be shy to come out and speak openly because they do not want their marriage to be use as a smaple for comparism?

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    Replies
    1. No it won't. No one is comparing, nothing is new in life. No two marriages are the same.

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  27. More ladies need to share their good "out of this world" experience in a loving marriage so that other ladies will know and believe that there are good men in this world. I am happy former and wish her many more years of marital bliss.

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  28. Seems aunty Ojay also travelled to Dubai for Tuface wedding,plz we're hungryoo! Ur kids are hungry.


    ~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA3310

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    Replies
    1. I was wondering o. Aunty Eya, good evening oh, we are hungry! Abi, Bona, shud we go and look for her house?

      Delete
  29. Anonymous3/23/2013

    All Na wash!!
    Na their type dey get 2nd hidden family for outside

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    Replies
    1. Fyn Ijebu Chic3/24/2013

      STFU, wen u are so used to nollywood movies and all d bad experience in life.
      I am nt married bt my fiance is great! Wen he was earning 50k, he gives me 10k each month and nw God has blessed him wit a better job. Tell me he has anoda gf outdere. There are men and dey are men. U r obviously used to d dogs called men.
      Sorry Eya, I usually dnt comment bt I can't help mysed today!!!

      Delete
  30. Hahahaha, sorry please, #HolidayTinz. Picking the girls from boarding schools, attending PTA, Busy, busy, busy the whole day, Couldn't check even my mails. So sorry guys.
    Can we eat left overs?
    Take out from the freezer, defrost and heat, serve hot. Read my June 2012 posts Archive and crack ya ribs, so that you know we are growing and improving. #Hahahaha.
    Sweet dreams.

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  31. mystiq3/23/2013

    Wow. Ǧ☺☺ϑ FO̶̲̥̅̊Я̩̥̊ you!!! May God continue to bless ur home. Am married t̲̣̣̥O̶̲̥̅̊. Ǧ☺☺ϑ man.

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  32. Anonymous3/24/2013

    WoW!!!!!!!
    God bless ur hubby o! My hhusband is nice too but not like dat! Dis ur hubby na Godsent!

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  33. Thanks for sharing. Your joy over your husband will not be cut short in Jesus'name. Now, love is beautiful when expressed as it should be

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  34. Adebisola(Bislondy)3/25/2013

    Lovely piece. God continue to bless your home maam.

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  35. Miss Tee3/27/2013

    Awww....God continue to bless ur marriage .i just stumbled on this blog and I totally love it.

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  36. I want this kind of husband for myself. Thank you for sharing...you are blessed. I claim this 1million fold in Jesus name Amen.

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  37. Anonymous4/14/2013

    Nice man,I av a very wonderful man as husband,generous,caring,trustworthy,transparent,contented,Godfearing nd all,he is a man every lady wil b glad to av as a man in her life,Tank GOd for ur life my crown,No evil shall b ur portion IJN

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  38. Johnson4/17/2013

    My wife introduced me to this blog yesterday & I am encouraged to be part of this…
    I bless God for you and your husband… This is a good story to hear and I like the encouragement it gives to readers. I can say with authority that there are still some good men out there. The wonderful thing is that these men actually get better with time (Prov 4:18). For the singles - please marry a man that loves (and fears) God!
    Helen, I know your hubby means well for you. However, you need to take your relationship to another level – get something doing to enhance your personality. This is a discussion you should have with your husband. The investments he is making on you will be greatly enhanced when you multiply it. Remember the story of the talent in the bible? God expects, and demands, that we improve on what we have been given. What options are out there?
    1. Open a daycare if you’re good with children. Haven waited some years; I think you would adore children. You might have to do some short term training on this.
    2. Invest in being a major distributor to some big manufacturing companies in Niaja.
    3. What else do you enjoy doing – reflect on what business you can do around your hobbies.
    The essence of having something to do is that it increases your self-worth and provides additional support in the days of adversary (Read Prov 31:10-28)…

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  39. Anonymous5/08/2013

    Am reading this and I just got married.... Two weeks# still honeymooning" God I pray and key into this refreshing story that in 15 years time my testimony will be even greater! Nothing compares to the joy of a great godly and loving marriage. Am scared of the numerous sad stories of pple changing after marrige...God help me

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  40. Anonymous5/28/2013

    i am also married to a very good man,he hlpes wt d house chores,d baby,bought a car4me witout buyin 4hmslf tho he s nt a millionaire bt dere s nothing i will want dt s within hs reach dt he will nt giv me n somtimes m scared dt he might change coupled wit d fact dt m very temperamental.ur story touchedme somuch bcos u sound lik a very nice lady n it made me realise how blessed i am evn wen i kno i can b so unnice

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    Replies
    1. happymrs3/17/2014

      My dear, God sometimes gives us what we dont even deserve, its all about His grace.Who loves you loves you, but just draw closer to God and ask Him to change those areas of your life u know are not good. Read good books like The spirit filled temperament by Tim La. Haye. The five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. Also make sure you let that your husband know that you love and adore him and are grateful for him in your life. Do little things to show that you care and it will be better and better in Jesus Name.

      Delete
  41. Anonymous7/25/2013

    I am so happy for you,i pray that mine will be like yours and even best in Jesus name Amen.Wishing the same for all the other singles out there who truly desire a happy home.

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  42. Anonymous9/20/2013

    You are really a source of inspiration. I am in my late twenties but still a virgin. God willing I will be getting married to a very wonderful, loving and God fearing guy in about 4 months time. But seriously, sometimes i get scared of the unknown especially when i read stories of husbuand who were once caring. I get to ask my self what if mine does? I pray for patience and wisdom everyday. may you continue to have a reason to smile in your home.

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  43. i can't really believe that i am with my Ex-Husband back after when he broke up with me with 4 kids i thank Dr Atakpo of (dratakpospelltemple@gmail.com) for helping me getting back my man back, My Name is Mrs Rhona Cole i am from England and my man name is Mr Alan Cole, my happiness turn to bitterness,my joy turn to sorrow,my love turn to hate when my husband broke up with me last week,i was so frustrated and i could not know what next to do again, i was so unthinkable and i could not concentrate any more, i love my husband so much but he was cheating on me with another woman and this makes him broke up with me so that he can be able to get marry to the other lady and this lady i think cast a spell on my husband to make him hate me and my kids and this was so critical and uncalled-for,I cry all day and night for God to send me a helped to get back my man until i went to Westmoreland to see a friend and who was having he same problem with me but she latter got her Husband back and i asked her how she was able to get her husband back and she told me that their was a powerful spell caster in Africa name DR ATAKPO that he help with love spell in getting back lost lover's back and i decided to contacted the same Dr Atakpo and he told me what is needed to be done for me to have my man back and i did it although i doubted it but i did it and the Dr told me that i will get the result after 24hours, and he told me that my husband was going to call me by 9pm in my time and i still doubted his word, to my surprise my husband really called me and told me that he miss me so much Oh My God i was so happy, and today i am happily with my man again and we are joyfully living together as one good family and i thank the powerful spell caster Dr Atakpo of dratakpospelltemple@gmail.com, he is so powerful and i decided to share my story on the internet that good spell casters still exist and Dr Atakpo is one of the good spell caster who i will always pray to live long to help his children in the time of trouble, if you are there and your lover is turning you down, or you have your husband moved to another woman, do not cry anymore contact the powerful spell caster Dr Atakpo on his email: dratakpospelltemple@gmail.com and he will answer you, i am a living testimony and i will continue to testify of his goodness in my family,he turn my family to paradise and today we are all happy together Dr Atakpo i say thank you in one million times thanks Dr.

    ReplyDelete

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