Hello ma, I had an abortion four years ago and thought I had gotten over it. I was 24 years old, we were planning our wedding and I didn't want to be seen as a pregnant bride. Although my husband (then fiance) tried to convince me to leave it, I couldn't stand what other church members will think of me when I give birth earlier than 9 months after the wedding. "I'm in the church choir, what would they think of me" how will they start treating me afterwards?". Our courtship was seemingly very strict as my church has rules about all these things, what would they say if 6, 7 months after the wedding they receive news I gave birth to a baby that doesn't even look premature?
I went ahead and secretly did it.
Let me not lie, I was haunted after the wedding, I never thought anotherpregnancy would come so fast but it did come and now we have a beautiful, energetic baby girl but the guilt is killing me. I can't take this thought off my head, I keep feeling like I murdered my own child because of a mere church wedding. I have prayed and fasted but the thoughts still return. I hate to pass around the hospital area where it happened. Aunty Eya please help me ask the wives connection family if I need to go make a confession to my pastor so the thoughts would leave me alone, I'm tired.