Should I Accept This Baby?

Hello Eya and WC, thank you all for everything I have learnt through this wonderful blog and that is the reason I chose to bring this matter here. 

My family is relocating to Lagos from Abuja, we have two kids, boys and the Doctor has advised against another pregnancy. Like a miracle or I don't know what to call it but just  yesterday, neighbors became aware we are relocating to Lagos and just behind our compound is an uncompleted building. We always knew
that some families lived in the completed section of that building although we are not close, I started feeling pity for the kids opening refuse bags to look for food and other things, and would always beckon on those kids running around and give them food or other gifts. Through the kids, one of the mothers came quite close and that was how I learnt that they fled their homeland because of Religious Crises and came to Abuja to look for greener pastures.

On hearing that we are relocating to Lagos, this young lady approached me with the youngest of her kids, a one year old and she  is begging in tears that I accept this child as a gift from her and take care of her because she cannot give her a good life and cannot provide for her with the other kids to take care of. 

The owner of this uncompleted building who hails from the same area as them has informed all the occupants that work is going to resume in December and she has no where to take her five children. 

Truth is I love this baby and would have loved to parent this child, to give my two sons a sister but I'm scared of the Government, Scared of what might happen tomorrow. I don't know if there are steps I need to take according to Law before accepting this baby. I do not know if this is illegal or allowed in Nigeria

Please I need advice from people in the House. Is this also seen as Child Trafficking. Will accepting this baby girl put me in trouble with the Law or is it OK to take the child since it's the Biological parent that is giving?

29 comments:

  1. Anonymous4:43 PM

    First, discuss with ur husby about it get his own opinion then Get a lawyer and try as much as possible to do everything in black and white if u really love d child. But as for me o I won't cos anoda blood no fit be like my blood. But above all pray about it cos its not easy taking up anoda person's probs. Shalom

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    1. Anonymous11:48 PM

      I will sound a little judgmental here ... U seem a very self centered fellow with this comment " But as for me o I won't cos anoda blood no fit be like my blood. " what do u mean? And to think that u r d first to comment.. May God grant u a new heart cos what u current own is bizzare n wicked. I believe u go to church n perhaps call yourself a christian.

      Delete
    2. Anonymous7:24 AM

      If u call me wicked then I don't blame u. I am a xtian and am telling u dat pple go to any lenght to blackmail pple dis days. If u dnt knw hw 2 talk then keep QUIET

      Delete
    3. Anonymous3:12 PM

      @Anon 4.43pm, I put it to you that you are not a christian! Must you love only your biological children? This is one of the mentality why Nigerian still remain backward. The poster asked for a proper way to go about it and not your 'righteous claims'.

      @Poster, first discuss with hubby and if both of you are in agreement, then go to the Ministry of Women Affairs in your location to get all the documentations done!

      Delete
  2. My advice to u, is to look for a lawyer n make it legal "adoption". So d biological parents will sign over d baby girl to u. Anything can happen, nx thing u will see ursef in blogs n we will be here commenting that u stole d child. U r a nice person 4 wanting to raise a child that is not urs. Pls adopt her n may God bless u for this.

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  3. Omg....Am so moved to tears.... I think u should kinda get a lawyer and make it legit and make sure hubby supports it too... God bless your good heart.

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  4. Anonymous5:41 PM

    You have a very good heart. Please discuss with your hubby and prayerfully go about it.. Please try as much as possible to seek the advice of a lawyer. may God bless you real good.

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  5. Anonymous5:44 PM

    I will advise to do it legally and get police report which she will also sign that she gave you the child, I watched a reality show, a woman told her real life story how she adopted two boys twins because the father couldn't take care of them and dumped them, after five years the man brought police to arrest the woman that she stoke his kids, thanks be to God for the woman had all the supporting documents, if not she would have been arrested, unknown to them, the man wanted to sell those kids because he needed money desperately. The point behind this epistle is to make sure you do the necessary things and she should sign undertaken, your hubby should be fully involved top. God will help and reward you.

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  6. Anonymous6:53 PM

    Amen for all d prayer, mind is dat u shld run all d necessary test on d baby b4 collect her and take pics when she signing d document.

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    Replies
    1. Good point, do all d necessary test, u never know. Hopefully she's ok.

      Delete
  7. Sumbo6:56 PM

    You have a gud heart but pls av a chat with your husband and if he agrees, get a gud lawyer to make tins legit.
    Pls click on this link esamade.blogspot.com/2013/10/caught-between-rock-and-hard-case.html? and comment. It's a new blog but I must say the stories and word of God are great.

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  8. Anonymous7:03 PM

    Help !!!!!! How do I get over my ex... I can't think straight.. Please help me o !

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  9. May God bless ur good heart. Plz try and do the necessary

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  10. Anonymous8:21 PM

    Ah! Poster plss accept the baby, but go through legal procedures, and get all the papers required for adoption.. Pls dnt see this as any stress, you have a good heart, and God will bless you and hubby, I know he is suport already, if not u won't put this up.. I know you will be a good mother to that child and she will make u proud.

    Patsy

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  11. Anonymous8:52 PM

    I beg u in d name of God to pls accept the baby so far ur hubby is in on it, then seek a good lawyer so that all is legalised. God bless u and ur home real good.

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  12. May God give you the strenght and wisdom to train the child. Accept the child as long as your family is on board. Bless your heart.

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  13. POSTER8:55 AM

    Thank you all, I discussed with my husband and he is OK with adopting the baby but does not want anything that will put the family in trouble in the future. I want to talk with my lawyer to see what step to take next. Thanks.

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    1. Johnson3:08 PM

      May the Almighty God reward you in ways beyond your imagination. May He shut the door to the devil completely (now & in the future) in connection to this bold step you are about to take.
      Please take the time to list out some important questions to ask your lawyer. Involve your pastor and take out time to pray and ask for God’s leading (this part is most serious).

      Delete
  14. You don't know who d child is gonna b in future.tolk 2ur hubby nd of cos a lawyer nd welcome dt child if possible let her go 4 deliverance.

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  15. You don't know who d child is gonna b in future.tolk 2ur hubby nd of cos a lawyer nd welcome dt child if possible let her go 4 deliverance.

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  16. Anonymous6:09 PM

    Deliverance ke! For a one year old child? Hian! Some pples comment sef

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  17. Hi Poster,Im a lawyer and id give u some moral and legal advise.First i feel bad that dis is happening.there is no woman in d world,and pls quote me anywhere,who wud willingly give out her child.she is only doin dat bcos of the condition of things.u think if she was as comfortable as u r she wud do dat.u think if she was as enlightened as u r she will have 5 children.from a legal point of view these are d defences a good lawyer wil bring up if ever.she did it under duress,"extenuating circumstances" if u must. Morally madam,wat u wanna do is really good but let me attempt to place myself in d woman's shoes.i can bet u dat wen she begged u to take d child,she did nt mean for u to adopt it.i tink she meant for u to be a foster parent,help her care for the child and someday wen d child is much older u return.i kno i sound ridiculous but it happens and only God rewards such acts of kindness. The choice is yours.the woman is illiterate so she myt never fyt u with a lawyer and all wat not but God in heaven will see her heart and knos dat she wil never av left her baby to go like dat.so u can choose to take d baby away from its mumy forever and let ur conscience judge u knowing she had no choice,u can decide to tkae d baby,train and someday return,or u can decline her offer and if u feel so much pity*rme*set her up with a business,accomodation,sth to ensure she dosent give out all her children. As i said,its up to u.

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    1. Spot on....

      This woman would want 2 be reunited with her baby.

      We have a girl like dat, they r nine children and the parent bring them 2 our factory 2 work, one of the girls followed us home and has refused 2 go back since den, we force her 2 go 4 holidays et al.....what am I saying, she is like a child 2 my parent but we let her know that she has her family. They r plenty like that in my area(niger state) that wants 2 stau wit my famil since am grown and the only girl.
      Just take care of d girl as a foster mum and let her know her family.
      God would reward Ʊ, don't take her away 4ever. If Ʊ want 2 adopt, pls go 2 a motherless baby homem

      Sefini

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    2. Anonymous9:10 AM

      Ify and Bebe Beebee u are just on point. Pls if u want to help her take care of her daughter you can go ahead and do so knowing well that her parents will always want to see their daughter. But if u want a legal adoption pls go to a motherless home. Most times the future comes back to us just like yesterday.

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    3. Anonymous11:30 AM

      i totally agree with Ify and Beebee, if you have the resources to take care of the child why not go ahead, you may never know the child that will save you in future. Make every child your child

      Delete
  18. Anonymous6:19 AM

    I also think the woman is jst doing this cos she is poor what is she comes into money later? Did she seek the permission of her husbands pple? Cos those ones am sure wldnt support esp mother in law. U may adopt her legally now that does not mean she caNnot fight u and win, by then u wld be soo attached to this child that it wld devastate u.
    My advise wld be for u to help the woman get accomodation if u ve the means, look at cheap places in d outskirts. U can also support her with capital for a small biz and check on them frm time to time thank God for GSM. Abj public schls are not bad plus they are free. The little girl can even cme for holidays if u wish.
    To adopt pls go to motherless babies homes. I can help u, my immediate younger sibling has been adopted since birth and she is everyones's fave but it was done legally.
    I can't tell how wonderful she is, she is the best wife, mom, sister, daughter and friend any1 wld wish for.

    Uju

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  19. Anonymous10:33 AM

    Anonymous 6:19am. Pls I wld be glad if u can help me. My hubby and I have been thinkin of adopting a child but don't know how to go about it. We re stil believing God for fruit of d womb

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  20. Please take the baby and go through all legal processes attached to it. To me, this is how God wants to bless you and it doesn't matter if the woman wants the child back in the future or not (though I don't see how she will, judging from the fact that you guys will get separated once the girl follows you to Lagos.) Tell the girl about her birth mother as soon as she is able to understand but don't treat her any less than your children. God be with you.

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  21. Anonymous9:53 PM

    My dear, ify and bebee might be right, but pls adopt the child if u ve to, it doesn't mean if the parent want a reunion with their child, that they will be denied... Pls to avoid any form of future harassment, do the necessary adoption procedures abeg

    Patsy

    ReplyDelete

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