Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Should I Try To Get A Child Out Of Wedlock Or Press For Marriage?

I Need To Make Babies Fast

Good evening Aunty Eya................., I live in ................., i'm a 24 year old law student awaiting law school, i'm not married but in a relationship of almost 7years, my boyfriend is 30.

 Let me apologize before hand for the long epistle, just trying to paint a better picture for you guys.
I had a lumpectomy on my left breast 2years ago, sometime last year I noticed a colourless discharged came out from my nipple whenever a little pressure was applied on my breast, I went to my gynae who diagnosed me with hormonal imbalance and gave me some drugs for it, then I noticed I was having

irregular periods,the hair on my body was growing too fast and I was beginning to have pimple breakouts which was unusual because I have a good beauty regime, I use a face cleanser every morning and evening before bath and face scrub 3times a week and I wash my towel and pillow case every week. 

This year February my period lasted for 12days, I had to go see my gynae who did series of tests on me and diagnosed PCOS.

I was put on primolut N. For 10days but the period started again when I completed the dosage and this went on for 3months before it stopped,i've been observing it since then and glad to say it's been 3months  now and I don't need Primolut N as my period starts and stops on it's own after 5days and I think i'm ovulating now.  will go back to my gynae at the end of this month for check up and possibly continue the glucophage which I was advised to stop taking, and let the bleeding stop.

Aunty Eya, 2 doctors have already advised me to get married as soon as possible so I can start making babies just in case the PCOS affects my fertility but I planned on getting married in about 2years, I need to go to Law School and do my Youth Service and probably land a job before I get married and Yes, i've had a lifestyle reshuffle, I eat way less carbohydrate portion now(tho i've never been a lion share eater) and more fruits and vegetables and I got a skipping rope for exercise, i'm not overweight, still a size 6/8. 


I've been depressed since February but my boyfriend has already told me not to be because no matter what happens, his love for me won't diminish and he'll be with me and blah blah but I'm afraid, people change. 

He just got a 'good' job now and we are trying to get a place for him to stay, for now he still lives with his parents, and me, with mine, he asked to meet my dad Two Years ago before he travelled for his masters so I took him home, he now comes to my house, my dad and brothers like him, I go to his house too and his parents know we are courting but he hasn't proposed, he said he'd like to wait till after next year to get married so that he can save up enough.

I'm kind of confused now,what should I do? Should I try to get a child out of wedlock or press for marriage now so that we can start making babies fast? Or I should still maintain my 2year plan, won't it be too late for me? I'd really love to be a mother, I love kids and will love to have mine, and I know this PCOS is a recent development because I've been pregnant more than once for my boyfriend, even took in a month before he went for his mask and now I'm regretting why we terminated it.


Please Your kind advice/suggestions are needed. Thanks in anticipation and Aunty Eya please do not post my details.
Thank You.

22 comments:

  1. I tink u nid 2 discuss dis wit ur man and ur parents. N tak a decision frm der reactions. Ur bf won't b happy if u hv a planned preg witout his consent n dt myt spoil ur rel wit him.

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  2. Anonymous4:51 AM

    My dr jus calm down n take ur time, nobody is God and he does his own at d perfect Time, cos if u take in now ur bf will sure ask u 2 remove it again cos he's alrdy use 2 u terminating urban pregnancy.jus pray sha

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  3. Anonymous7:23 AM

    Have you asked God for forgiveness for killing innocent kids?

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    Replies
    1. Did the poster tell u she is not remorseful about her deeds? In all she said all u could pick out is her sin.

      Dear Poster, pls God is the giver of children. I'll advice u don't do God's work for him cos he does not need ur help to do what he has to do. He's more than capable of giving u children @ the right time. Follow ur plans and let marriage and kids come @ God's appointed time.

      Delete
  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  5. It is God who gives kids. Trust God amd follow his will. His will is marriage before babiea. Continue ur treatment amd pray about it.

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  6. Anonymous8:07 AM

    And we say we r christians. Its just the devil throwing a lil stress ur way so ull panic n do d wrong tin,just kip on believeing in God n let tins b. Ur ggetting better n so it will remain iJn.

    ReplyDelete
  7. mabel8:35 AM

    Be focus dear cos PCOS isn't death sentence. I have PCOS, didn't get married till I was 30 and just 6mnths after with proper medicatn and PRAYER I had my twin boys and I just delivered my third boy not too long. Don't panic,build your career first and wait for your boo.God bless you

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  8. Anonymous8:40 AM

    Dear poster,the solution to ur predicament is following God's will for ur life. God's order is marriage>sex>kids. Do not be afraid just rededicate ur life to God and live by His principles. He would mak all things new and forgive ur past errors. A good friend of mine who had been diabetic for yrs was diagnosed wit uterine fibroids @ 28yrs. They were so large,dat it was pressing on her fallopian tubes,so d doctors said dat conception wld be difficult. Her wedding was delayed almost a year frm d plannd date,yet dey neva succumbed to d pressure of having sex b4 marriage frm family to try her luck. She plannd on doin her surgery afta marriage bcos according 2 d drs.she needs to concieve immediately 2 prevent regrowth. Lo, she conceived on her wedding nyt. And despite all doctors reports backed wit evidence dat she would lose d baby. Today she is a happy moda of a beautiful daughter born witout complications. Glory to God!
    My dear poster just live according to God's will and pray always. Nothing is impossible for God! It is well!

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous11:11 AM

      Glory! *speaking in other tongue* God makes all things beautiful in his own tym. I love dis testimony.

      Delete
  9. Anonymous8:41 AM

    dear poster,the solution to ur predicament is following God's will for ur life. God's order is marriage>sex>kids. Do not be afraid just rededicate ur life to God and live by His principles. He would mak all things new and forgive ur past errors. A good friend of mine who had been diabetic for yrs was diagnosed wit uterine fibroids @ 28yrs. They were so large,dat it was pressing on her fallopian tubes,so d doctors said dat conception wld be difficult. Her wedding was delayed almost a year frm d plannd date,yet dey neva succumbed to d pressure of having sex b4 marriage frm family to try her luck. She plannd on doin her surgery afta marriage bcos according 2 d drs.she needs to concieve immediately 2 prevent regrowth. Lo, she conceived on her wedding nyt. And despite all doctors reports backed wit evidence dat she would lose d baby. Today she is a happy moda of a beautiful daughter born witout complications. Glory to God!
    My dear poster just live according to God's will and pray always. Nothing is impossible for God! It is well!

    ReplyDelete
  10. As Jesus says, "Fear Not".
    Trust in God with ALL of your heart and lean not on your own understanding.
    Believe that you're what God says you are.
    God bless you.

    ReplyDelete
  11. It shall be well... Just don't do anything out of wed luck. Talk with ur family first.


    All the best!

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  12. I agree with Jay, totally!

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  13. Anonymous1:16 PM

    Pls, allow God 2 take charge of d whole thing, ur own idea might nt really work out. Wat I mean in essence is dat nothing is impossible wt God.

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  14. Anonymous1:29 PM

    Poster just take it easy let God work on u, just b prayerful..

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  15. Ada Nnewi1:34 PM

    Dear poster,it is well with u,trust in God,ve faith and then watch everything fall into place.I will put u in prayers

    ReplyDelete
  16. Lizzy2:26 PM

    Dear poster, I won't suggest u get pregnant now bcoz ur bf will suggest u terminate again bcoz he isn't ready yet. Carry on with your treatment and avoid getting pregnant until after ur wedding. Having another termination might just b a very negative outcome so stay clear of it.
    Pray and believe God will make all things beautiful in his own selected time.

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  17. I believe in God's timing, his plans are of Goods and his words must surely come to pass. Just like everyone has said @poster, follow God's will and allow him do his plans.

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  18. Calm down love, you have a lot going on now that adding a baby to the mix would certainly not work out in your favour. Pressuring your guy to marry you before he is ready to do so is also a passion killer.

    Dont stress yourself too much over the doctor's reports, you are blessed to have a guy who has promised to stand by you, all you need now is to rededicate your life to Christ - if you are a christian, pray and trust God to perfect all that concerns you.

    Trust me, miracles do happen. I was diagnosed with uterine fibroid before marriage, by the time my first pregnancy was full term, the fibroid had shrunk in size and by the time I had my second baby it had disappeared!!!

    You too will testify in Jesus name.

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  19. Amen oooo n I tap into d above testimonies tooo,, @ poster God is able,he that defies all medical reports,raised Lazarus from death,brought money out of d belly of a fish,gave Elizabeth(mother of john d baptist) a son... will do u and me too(Amen)

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  20. Anonymous12:04 PM

    Thank you all for the kind words and advice, i tap into all the testimonies here and i know i'll come back to tell mine here no matter how long it takes.
    God Bless you all and give you more wisdom to help out people with your words.
    Poster.

    ReplyDelete

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