WHO SHOULD COME FIRST FOR AFTER-BIRTH-CARE (OMUGWO)?


Hello Anty Eya, I have been following your blog for a long time and still use your recipes to cook all the time even though you stopped sharing those lovely mails on your blog. I wish that you bring it back for some of us. I miss madam Ahdaisy, Lizzy, Debora, Bonario, Ezenwanyi, Creamberry and all other noise makers, it was fun then. I so got addicted but am delivered now for sure.

Why am writing is to get help from you and others on the blog. My brain is crammed and frozen on this matter. I just gave birth to my first baby, we are still at the hospital because my baby was

 breech and delivery happened by CS.Well,  I wanted to send for my mom to come from the village as where we reside is not far from the village, she can get here in like three hours drive but my husband thinks otherwise. He wants his mother to come first and spend time with us and that my mom can come after his own has returned back. I don't like it and he is not even getting my point right now. The stress I face anytime my mother inlaw is around is not something to face now that my baby has just been born. I son't have the energy to serve mom inlaw early in the morning, take her shopping or buy gifts to make her happy. Mom In law is picky with food, after cooking ours I have to make something she likes and now  am trying to make my husband reason with me but it's not working. 

My mom was actually looking forward to this visit because I already called and informed her that as soon as I give birth to the baby, her presence and services will be needed. She is looking forward to this moment and I don't know what to do. Can I ask that they both come at the same time? My husband may not bother since his is coming too but am not sure if that's a wise thing to do.

Comments

  1. Hi Poster. Yes o, a lot has happened going back and forth but we are all still here I can assure you. Things have changed like I say to whoever asks. Social media is here and we all just find it easier commenting on Social media these days but that doesn't mean that blogging is gone. Still here and will continue to be for as long as humans continue to search Google for information. Thanks for your mail and Congratulations on your new baby.

    I don't know what other people do, but for me, it depends on who you are comfortable with. You need to rest and heal and be happy for yourself and the baby. Try talking to your husband again, if you need a nurse to talk to him about how you need more rest, maybe you arrange that and make it happen now that you still at the hospital. Both mothers should come to take care of their grandchild but at different times so that you are not over stretched when they both plan on leaving at the same time... You'll need to send them home with some gifts; cash gifts, maybe wrappers and foodstuff, if you can afford doing all that for both mothers at the same time, well...

    Again, aside thinking about who you are comfortable with, look at the age too. The younger and stronger grandma should come first because she'll need to carry and take care of baby from time to time. In some traditions, it is the husband's mother that comes first but I think we need to look beyond tradition and invite first who can help around the house with cleaning and cooking and even going to the market. The other grandma can come later when you are strong and able to take care of the home.

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    Replies
    1. If your mom is a better option for you now, insist to hubby, remind him that you gave birth by CS and cannot resume housekeeping and cooking immediately. Now he is happy about the baby, just think of how to put it to him. If his mom comes later, she'll get to stay longer because then there'll be no other grandma waiting for her turn. Convince him. You need rest.

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    2. Poster9/29/2018

      Thanks Anti Eya, we spoke again and have concluded that my mother comes first for the first two months then we'll bring his mom after. Thanks for posting.

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