I married early to escape torture from mum, Now My husband mistakenly calls me his secret girlfriend's name... I need help

Madam Eya I am so so sad. I cry everyday. my husband does not
treat me fine anymore, in fact he does not even have my time anymore. its best to find anonymous person to confide in rather than family members that will laugh at me for my problems. I am a

26 year old lady married for five years with two kids and one other way. since the onset of this third pregnancy I became a totally unhappy person cause of the way husband treats me. I am also an undergraduate presently in level 200 . aunty Eya my husband now keep side chick whom he have obviously shift his attention and pocket to. he made sure I have no source of income except him . whenever I managed to save little money and start small business this man purposely destroyed it. (this has been going on for a long time) he has now stopped me from any mini business. I am just here sitting down doing nothing like a coward. he just derives joy seeing me miserable. the last time I make my hair was many weeks ago. whenever we had an argument he will not give me money for transport to school and whenever I managed to transport myself to school, there is no food for me in school that day. it comes to a point he stops me from going to school missing lectures and tests. aunty Eya this man is frustrating my life... why why why. I am still young and he is keeping concubine, it's just five years of marriage and he is not even anything close to rich. we are just managing and now he is squandering his hard earned penny on a woman. I am so restless in this pregnancy. I need help,. my mom clearly told me there is no place for me in her home if I leave my matrimony. she is the only one I have since my blessed grandma passed on. (crying bitterly). my children are the only thing that makes me smile. this is just a summary of what I am going through. sorry my write up is not properly arranged. please help a disturbed, troubled young woman. I am too young to be going through all this and the worst part is having no one to talk to. I don't keep friends cos he won't allow me. my mum and I have no form of bond cos she did not raised me. I was raised by her mother my grandmother (if my grandma was alive, I won't be troubled by any problems. cos she is truly there to support me in all forms.) she was my confidant, my friend,my role model. but the cold hands of death snatched her from me. I can't stop crying.. madam Eya please help me in any way you can. I am so sad, sometimes I feel like taking my life.. sometimes I feel like running away to start life again but run to where? I can't live without my children, I can't... please mam just do something. I wish I can physically see u to cry on your laps, I just need someone to pour out my hear to.. someone to pat my back and tell me I will be fine...

ma'am Eya marriage is difficult. I don't see myself continue with it. I have no where to go. my mum and dad separated since I was 3, and my grandma took me and raised. I hardly see my dad while growing up may be once or twice in a year,. I don't want same fate for my children that is why I still want to be in this marriage. this man will never let me have custody of my children if we ever separate. where am I even going to go? no work, no money, no support (especially emotional one). I am sick and tired of this life.
The first year my mum and sister in-law paid. And then I won scholarship for the remaining years
He wants me to be a stay at home mother giving birth every year. (this third pregnancy entered by chance cos contraceptives failed me) I only buy the pills when I have money, and I took them secretly,. He will never give me money to buy pills never

He beat me only once and I made sure I reported him to his whole family members. His mother supported him. But his sisters made sure he regretted that, hence why he doesn't beat me again. But he is very aggressive. He pushes me away, that is the highest he does now or tries to strangle me, but not beating . His two sisters are very nice but you know I have to respect myself and not constantly complaining of their brother to them

He recently started his PhD program, that is where he went wild with women.

The side chic is confirmed. One smallie undergraduate. He even mistakenly calls me her name sometimes.and that alone tear me apart

You know those kind of them that are manipulative, domineering and wants to keep their wives in the house to be making babies alone and never ever have a say in their lives. His sister had to intervene before he allowed me to start a degree program

I just hope this scholarship board keeps their promise , if not I am doomed. Cos he will make sure no one pays my tuition

Sorry for my long write ups. I am just full of issues and I need to let them out

Thanks madam Eya. You are free to post it on your blog as long as I remain anonymous to them. Please help a helpless young mother. I am so so unhappy. Sometimes I found myself talking aloud to myself while walking on the street. Is this not not one of the early signs of madness? I am fasting as well and can't even eat once it's time to break my fast. And my husband does not even care. I so much pity this baby in my womb and my other two children. I got married at a tender age of 20 to escape tortures of my mother (i moved in with her to the city after my ssce cert in The village) now I am even facing the worst forms of torture from my husband, a man that promised to love,care and stand by me is now my nightmare. Oh madam Eya if only I can put in words how I really feel...
#Anonymous post.


  1. Hi Anon, I shared this post to Nigerian wives connection Facebook page and I think you need to read those comments there so, I'm going to just copy and paste them here...

  2. From Emmy Jenny:
    My dear think, maybe there is something u stopped doing or something u did that made him change towards u,if there is non,jst put urself together,dress well,make him feel jealous, (dont fail in ur motherly duties)focus more or ur children, starting reading books,feed urself wit d word of God and u will come bk wit testimony... God bless u

  3. From NKIRU nWOBODO:
    I can feel your pains, but pls be stronge one day he will realize his mistake and made amend, God will be your strenght.

  4. From Oluwatoyin Adeshola:
    it is well my dear,I can feel u.pls join dis group on Facebook.due process advocate with barrister Emeka Ugwuonye.he will help u.just type due process advocate

  5. From Lokosu O. O.
    If you were not pregnant it would av bin a different case please don't think about anything else now except the unborn baby, after delivery you will know the next step.....I pray God creates confusion between your husband and his side chicks..Amen

  6. @poster.

    I was heart broken reading your story.

    You married at a tender age to escape torture was actually a wrong reason to get married. Let’s leave the past behind. You need your life back.

    My advice for you is simple work on yourself and pray to God to handle your husband.

    You need work on your mind, self esteem and you also need to start doing something, you need financial freedom.

    Start a business, you can market the business Online or sell in your school. Think of something that is cheap and student in your school especially ladies will like to buy, buy and start selling them.

    Depending completely on your husband is contributing to your unhappiness.

    As for your husband just hand him over to God and let him fight for you.

    I wish you the very best. Please be at Peace all will be well


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