Re: My Husband's irresponsibility has no part 2. Hubby replies separated wife and those who left comments

If you didn't read that post in 2016, read it here. A Nigerian wife sent a mail for posting, she was tired of her hubby's ways and wanted to know the next right step to take. Many blog readers left comments and right now we do not know if the poster is still married to her husband or divorced. So, this morning, I opened the blog and saw messages from her husband. He has replied and insists that his wife's post was  not the whole truth and also replied some comments left there. 
See his replies below:


As much as believe in this blog when I came across it, my story which was detailed by my separated wife shows me that most of ur stories may not be right. I admit have not being a good husband but come to think of it, how would I have been 100% irresponsible also with my family. My tribe is Ebira, and my over 70yrs old parents were born in Lagos. If at all they were also not responsible, what happened to my in-laws who were Yorubas. I thank God I Got someone who later believed in me, counsel me and making me a great man. If we divorce I will still be a better man, if we get back I ll still be a better man.
All that most of us need is to read in between lines and see if the poster actually acted in a way that the supposedly bad man can see the good he can become.

Anonymous February 18, 2017
Hello everyone,am not a shame to say that I was the one the blogger was referring to. I married her animate have made my mistakes but I tell u,that in all I think this advises just destroyed a home that could have been the best. To every actions there is an equal or opposite reactions. Although that law was my mistake. I have since learnt to move on with the strength that after trying to get her back and it's not working, 'll move on greatly with life. For the records some of the things detailed here did not happen in my marriage. But all the same am a better person now. Appreciate all the advise tho.

What do you guys think?


Comments

  1. Anonymous2/25/2017

    As much as I am empathize with the wife being a woman and will never tolerate an abusive relationship, I am also careful not to judge based on just one side of the story. There are always 2 sides to a coin and also the danger of a single story.. I have however read the initial story and I am tempted to say that as much as the wife portrays herself as the victim in this case, reading some of her own narrative, some of the examples I find petty and if she chooses to make these non issues the issues, then one wonders if she is totally devoid of all blames in the issues in their marriage as well. Things I find petty are
    1. She mentioned he bought the cheapest cake at cakes n cream for their child's birthday instead of a character cake and he packed the part packs with N5-20 item and I am like, he even bought the cake from cakes n cream, how is that cheap? He even bought a cake, hello!! I have always bought the cheapest cake at cakes n cream for my kids birthday, we take pictures in our living room, cut the cake, eat small pieces and the rest goes into the freezer until I need space in my freezer then I throw away, I am not really a cake person and don't see why I should waste my money on elaborate cakes that we will barely touch. My husband doesn't even get involve except to sign the card and take pictures.does that make us bad parents? Guess what each of my 3 kids have more than N1m each in their accounts and the oldest is not even 5 yet. We have just decided to reorder our priorities. I have never done party packs before or birthdays in school, luckily for me 2 of their birthdays always fall on the school holidays.
    2. She mentioned he was once giving the child water to drink and she forcefully took the child from him and I am like, what is wrong with giving the child water? She has not said it is not safe drinking water and even if she didn't want him to drink water at that point is forcefully taking the child away the right thing to do?

    3. She mentioned that he wanted to take him out on democracy day and she refused because she wasn't going with them and again I'm like why can't he take his child out? He has as much right to the child as you do. My husband takes my kids out every now and then without me which I actively encourage cos at times I just need my me time. He even travels with them every year to the village which I refuse to follow them to but I will never stop him from taking his kids to his folks. All I ask every year is that please bring my kids back in one piece and this year when they did not go because he said he was broke, I was kinda disappointed as I have been looking forward to my week off to enjoy rolling in my big bed without rolling into 3 small bodies and a big one cos my kids always creep into my bed before morning. They sleep in my bed, we move them when they are asleep to their own room and they come back in the middle of the night.

    4. She said she once spoke to her father in law at the beginning of their issues and he said it was normal and she never raised it again even when things deteriorated, and I'm like what is the man's offense here, of course every marriage had their teething period, so it is normal, but did you go back to cry for help when things did not improve and he shunned you? Is that enough to disrespect him or shun his mother when she finally asked you to see her?

    5. Why should he even ask your mom for his own child's birth certificate in the first instance? And why should you refuse to give him, he has as much right to this child as you do. You can make a copy and give him, I am not saying you give him the original if you have your reasons, there is nothing wrong with the child having multiple accounts and if things are not going on well eI you two as you described, then I understand why he may want to open his own separate account for the child.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous2/25/2017

      Husband, I kind of feel your pain. Most of our wives are hardly brought up in the proper way, hence issues are being created in the marriage. I have read in between the lines and my conclusion is that your wife is arrogant, disrespectful, childish and rude. My other question is what did her mum do after the alleged call from the husband. Most of the challenges faced in life is as a result of our attitudes. If she can be rude to her father and mother in law, then she ll obviously be rude to the husband too. Am not condoning the husband for some of the things he has done. I believe he should have sorted the accommodation issues before getting married.
      2. He should have discussed some of this grey areas before marriage. Mostly being handled by the pre marriage counselor.

      We have not heard of the wife's parent contribution to this issue. For it not to have been mentioned shows that they are obviously not a good parent.
      Pls husband, try to be patient with your wife if per adventure u guys reconcile since she didn't mention the status now. If the marriage is finally over, pls get a new wife that will be submissive and caring and make sure u love her and care for her.
      Marriage has its ups and down that why I think the guys parent were reluctant to meddle in their affairs at first.

      Lastly, I really think the wife should be mature too, we don't know her age, but am sure she should be 22yrs and above.if this points are what she keeps bringing out, then she should wait till 40 yrs before remarry.

      Guy pls move forward with your life with or without this lady. But I ll advice separation till u guys get matured rather than divorce, cos this issues are still trivial if u both can be well counselled.

      Sending nudes pix are not the right thing to do as a man.and it's totally condemnable. I won't be surprised if it was your wife that pushed you into seeking pleasure outside.
      Also saying that her family and her sponsored the wedding. Guy I hope that's not true, cos ur family should have at least put down a bag of rice. Even though the wives family handles wedding ceremony in Yoruba land. So if she's complaining about that she's obviously confuse.
      She said she paid the highest part of the house rent. Am sure that was the reason that husband decide to get another house without her contribution.
      Well am just reasoning tho. I may be wrong....

      Delete
    2. Anonymous2/26/2017

      But why are we castigating this lady?, she said the husband is 10yrs older which mean she is still very young. She also said she has a bad past which means these issues has been with her and she can't change. The husband should have know all this before getting married to her. The question is what becomes of the child involved. I hope both families and possibly their church or mosques would counsel this two immature being. Communication is key to successful marriage, u both should talk this grey areas out not for you to come on social media platform with biase info for us to advise. Husband love your wife, wife submit to to your husband. I have 2 kids, we have had our challenges and I tell u my wife will not do half of what you said you did. I pray this man too gets mature to handle a home.
      Eyaa, try to see that this two involve gets the response alert and if possible follow them with a mail or a call. U never know u may be saving a generation.

      Delete

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