Hello Aunty Eya, I'm a 25 year old girl in Kenya who enjoys reading wives connection a lot. I subscribed since 2015 and have been a regular visitor. I been married for 4 years with a 3 year old girl. I have been thinking about cheating on my husband for the past year but have not done so for fear of being caught and fear that the guilt will kill me if I finally do it.

I will not deceive myself here and admit that I knew he have always had a low s*x drive, even before marriage. I didn't know, it's really been getting worse. 

I am always the one initiating the act the whole time from our wedding day till date. I am always the one getting rejected. This, that, "Headaches", "long day at work", "tired", "not in the mood" "stressful day" excuses are not coming from me, but from him. I have tried everything I could to get him to want me again but nothing works! 

He still loves me I know he does.. we hold hands at every opportunity (even sleep on the same bed), we cuddle in bed, smooch a little, we kiss, we can cuddle from night and sleep in that position till morning, that is how close we are. Our daughter loves us back, he is a fantastic father and friend... but he isn't really doing a fantastic job as a husband, And it's
killing me that he doesn't understand how much I need him, how much I need to feel him inside me.

Things have been getting worse, he seems more tired, I don't think he's cheating. But I have been getting offers from men when I do share with friends. It was shocking how my colleagues and friends opened up and offered their "help" to get rid of my urges and make me happy in my marriage, like kinda help my husband. 

So I did an experiment for myself. I can't being to explain how hard I have questioned my self-worth and attraction. How I kept on thinking "maybe it's me", "maybe after the baby", "maybe my skills", "maybe my looks", "maybe it's just me". At the back of my head as much as I doubted myself I always thought it was him, because Honestly speaking, I am better looking now than ever, I smell good, take great care of my hair and body

During the experiment I went out on a date with an old fling. He wanted to confirm if I gotten married since the last time we went out. I didn't answer. So we met, had a nice dinner, went back to his place for a movie and ended up on his bed together.But he then asked if I was in the mood. I looked at his "attention" and I just knew it wasn't me he was thinking about at that moment. I said "no I am not" and he sent me home graciously.

 I crave that so much. I wouldn't think I'm an addict but I need it, am still young with urges all over the place. Now it's gotten to the point where I don't need it just from him. In fact sometimes I feel sickened thinking about having anything together with my hubby. Maybe it's because I know i will get rejected again...

Especially after my periods, I get so horny it's hard to ignore the feelings. am not the kind of woman that can pleasure herself with toys, all I want is my husband, what can I do please?


  1. Augustine8/22/2016

    Pls don't cheat .Get him to obtain erection and make love .You don't know what he is going through .Engage him and tell him how you feel and.explain your urge to him.He needs your assistance .Good luck and God bless you .

  2. Lovina8/22/2016

    Woman stay with ur husband, try and convince him to see a doctor,there must be a solution to his problem

  3. Be open to him about your feelings, let him see a Doctor.

  4. Na wa o. He should probably see a Doctor or something, you can't keep going like this.....
    He should see a Dr and you both discuss how he can use the toys on you when you both are cuddling or smooching, I really can't think of any way around this...


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