Friday, June 03, 2016

How Getting Married, Becoming a mum has made me lose friends

Good day aunty, I'm a new reader who got introduced to wives connection this year by my cousin. please I need help from wives connection. I need to know how wives and mothers manage to keep their friendships alive. I got married almost immediately after graduation in 2014. My family got blessed with twin boys in 2015 and life has been kind of "it is well" Joggling wifey duties, babies, my job etc, it  has not been easy. No one told me it's this hard, not even my mother. I am not complaining but this phase of my life is really hard.
Where I need help is with keeping my friends around. I am fast losing friends. I can't find time to visit even those in the same town with me, I can't find time to just chat and relax with those far away.
They call, I see missed calls but with my hectic schedule most times do not remember to call back until they call again to complain. There're times I have seen calls and refused to pick because I can sense a friend is angry at me and wants to vent. Because I can't find time for them, some have already distanced themselves from me. Ever sine my mother left after completing her omugwo, it has been rush, rush, rush from morning till night and by the time I'm set for bed, it's already midnight and I'm completely exhausted. With the way things are going, I see myself losing all my friends if care is mot taken. What do I do? How do married people manage to keep everything together and still maintain close relationships with their friends? Please advice.


  1. Hmmmm, who ever said motherhood was easy. I have a little girl too and hassles no be here. Sometimes am too tired to pick calls not to talk of returning. Thankfully most of my friends are married and going through this phase. My advice is that u face ur home. When are relaxed and have the time call ur friends and tell them how much u still care. They will understand those that won't will understand in a few years to come. Don't bother urself too much. Just know that ur days of hanging out with the girls,waka about, calling and doing aproko is way behind u. I hope u enjoyed ur singlehood while it lasted.lol. for now ur hubby and kid are ur best friends and need all ur attention.

  2. sorry i dont agree with Jewel, you should consciously make time out for your friends even if it means taking the kids to go an visit. No man is an island and you would not be the first to walk down this road

  3. Well...I am not married yet, so I really don't understand how to effectively juggle motherhood+being a wife+ having a job successfully. But I'll tell you that if you have some kind of support at home either from hubby or a help maybe, even if the help doesn't have to live in-just help around the house and leave once it's evening. It will be quite easy for you to have time for your friends. C'mon! I'm sure your husband has no problem maintaining his friends. So, why can't you?
    If you can get a help, please do, because you need your me-time too.

    1. Adaeze,wait to get married 1st b4 you say all that. Bcos it's not as easy as you thing. Trust me b4 I got married I tot I had my life all planned out but girl! All na story, marriage is great, when you are married to the right man but it still not easy to do it all and at the end, family always comes 1st!!!

  4. When you get married, some things chang. When you become a mother more things change. Your family is your number one priority. The time for charting endlessly is gone. You have WORK to do now lol. Once in a while call to say hello. You cant afford to pay less attention to your family cos you want to please your friends. Those married with kids will understand. E nor easy.

  5. My dear I'm married with two children and I can say keeping up with friends iS difficult but only the married ones will understand.If the single ones are upset please don't let the pressure get to you.Stil you can organise and plan your time to have a girls out day or weekend especially if you have someone to watch over the kids. It just won't be as often.

  6. Hi Sis,Eya Ayambem, I can imagine. I am newly married already losing contacts with all my friends. I am looking forward to creating a married and married moms club in my vicinity. i hope it would work. i had one when I was abroad.It was fantastic. I hope to have one in Nigeria.All my friends don't stay around me.