What To Do When Your Husband/Wife Financially Cheats

 Do you suspect your spouse is committing financial infidelity?

Let’s be honest with ourselves: Financial infidelity is cheating. It doesn’t involve sneaking off into seedy motel rooms or sending hot and steamy text messages to a paramour, but it does involve a series of secrets and lies that can devastate a relationship. Financial infidelity is any money-related conduct that involves one spouse being less-than-truthful or forthcoming with the other spouse. It often starts off small
and inconsequential — for example, buying an expensive pair of designer shoes and claiming that they were irregulars or marked down 75 percent, or skimming from the household budget by using coupons and then keeping the “savings” in a separate slush account. Over time, the financial fibs grow larger, and the lying spouse may justify his or her actions by rationalizing that it’s necessary for future financial security.
How can you protect yourself and your relationship with your spouse from the infidelities that can destroy a marriage? Financial planner Douglas J. Eaton offers tips to improve financial communication between spouses, including:
1. Be completely honest about any money owed. Solve problems early enough so they do not worsen.
2. Set a regular time (weekly, monthly, quarterly) to discuss the family finances.
3. Both partners should be involved in paying household bills, as this creates checks and balances.
4. Limit or eliminate individual accounts (bank, credit, etc.) and make them joint. Agree that all online account access may be shared by both partners.
5. Have an active joint account.
The National Endowment for Financial Education, which claims that 58% of spouses hide money from their partners, and the National Foundation for Credit Counseling, which states that 1 in 4 spouses wouldn’t tell their partners about financial difficulties, add that making a pact to make financial decisions as a team and agreeing on a monthly sum of money that each partner can spend “no questions asked” (as long as it fits in the budget) will also aid in building a healthy financial relationship with your spouse.
Whether you are entering into a new relationship, or are in the process of ending an old one, a pre or post-nuptial agreement may also be a handy tool to help maintain complete financial transparency. Prior or well-into a union, you can both agree to having only joint banking accounts, spending up to only a certain amount of dollars on something without your partner’s agreement, and accumulating only a certain amount of debt. Even divorcing couples can agree to some form of routine financial disclosures to avoid further litigation over perceived economic differences post-divorce. Such agreements can be as detailed as you both feel will be necessary and beneficial to the security of your future, both financially and emotionally.
Recovering from financial infidelity can be difficult, if not impossible, and many find it simply too challenging to overcome. However, both married and divorcing couples can benefit from seeking the advice of a trained professional, who can help them resolve their differences before litigation becomes the sole focus of the offended party.
Diane L.
READ MORE: www.wivestownhallconnection.com


  1. Let's scroll down and take the poll on financial cheating by spouses please. I will too.

  2. Sometimes, having a "Financial cheat" in a union might be born out of necessity, especially if one partner / spouse displays an irresponsible attitude towards money.

  3. I don't see the poll Aunt Eya....

    1. Good morning The Chief Judge, Ok, scroll down and click on VIEW WEB VERSION. That should open up the whole blog. The pole is right down below every blog post. Try that let's see.


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