I've Fallen Trap To Being The Other Woman I Didn't Intend To

If it's more important for ou to keep the other woman's friendship, well...
Read the story below and please advise
Hello Aunty Eya, I have been a reader of wives connection for about 3 months now. I need some guidance please. it's a complex situation and am looking for some advise or guidance on what to do. I met someone and fell in love so foolishly some months back just because perhaps because I had just broken off an engagement and was feeling  down and useless. We met up a few times, had lunch a couple times and clicked like magic, It wasn't long after we met that he kissed me and we had sex, a lot. (am sorry).
A few days after we started sharing a bed, he sent me a long message saying he was sorry, he really liked me but had a girlfriend who he'd been seeing a month. I was down. It was such a blow and I'd really never been in that situation before and didn't know how to take it. I told him to go away and said I wouldn't be seeing him again. He begged to see me and talk it out.
3 days passed and I kept thinking, well, if he's been with her a short time, maybe he isn't
sure about their relationship and he really does like me. I decided to keep him as a friend and see what happened. Only, since we've hung out, we end up kissing again and ended up in bed twice. I feel disgusting and I absolutely know I'll get so much hate for it. I know he'll be with her this weekend and he has never once said he'll leave her, just that he feels bad and he's sorry. I asked him why there was nothing on his Facebook about her and he said he knew I wouldn't continue to talk to him if he hadn't hidden it from me, which hurt me as I would have preferred to know as there would have been no way I'd have kissed or slept with him knowing that.

Since he told me, he hasn't tried to be discreet about it, he openly tells me when she's seeing him (she lives in another town here in the North while we live in the same town). She even accused him of cheating as he's obviously been spending a lot of time busy - he mentioned he was with a friend and then made her apologise for being needy and convinced her he should be able to have female friends.I already know that I was likely just the side chic and shouldn't even be in contact with him as I'm allowing myself to be treated badly. I didn't intend to be 'The Other Woman'. I just met him thinking he was single, and there was nothing on Facebook to suggest any different. And truth be told, I'd missed laughing out loud with someone and the way he made me feel when we were together was something I'd not felt in a very long time especially that I just broke off an engagement. My ex fiance never made me laugh the way this new guy did. Part of me can't help but think that he isn't a terrible person, and I like to think that he did like me and we did have a connection but maybe he met the other lady shortly after we met and clicked.
Does anone have a similar experience please? What should I do next?
So I'm posting this to ask, does anyone have a similar experience or can offer advice as to what I should do next? 


  1. Hi Poster, you and other posters that will come forward from now should not please, I'll be inserting images, pics to your posts before publishing to help mobile readers differenciate the post title from the body.

    Entering that relationship so soon after a breakup was a mistake and see what it's costing you now. You were not emotionally strong to withstand anything yet and I don't know but feel like he just used you and it won't be fair on yourself and your God to continue to be in that type of relationship. You just made yourself the other woman and please stop finding excuses for him, even if he met her shortly after you two met, why drag you both along? He might be telling you the truth about that woman, please help yourself by freeing yourself and wait on God to renew our strength and guide you.

  2. Anty Eya am really finding it difficult to comment. Don't know if it's my ntwk bt some pages open freely n some DON'T. No matter how I try. Making me miss out.

    1. My Lady BrandyB, what happened na? you had no difficulty opening the blog, did you change your phone?

    2. You are being realistic oh.

  3. Johnson4/19/2016

    If u really want this guy, you need to make him believe that you used him to compensate for the breakup u had. I am speaking as the bad Johnson. This guy has successfully used you and will continue to use you as long as you don't wise up. Unfortunately, many ladies don't bcos once your back hits the ground, there's high tendency for a repeat.
    As long as you try to sort it out your way, u will continue to struggle and be faced with heartbreak... Sex outside marriage looks exciting but ends with regrets - be wise!

    1. I agree with Oga Johnson, men? his ego won't let him accept the fact that you used him o, that's when he'll fight to have you and will lose sleep trying to conquer you. Am I wrong Oga Johnson?

    2. Johnson4/19/2016

      Auntie Eya - GBAM!!!
      This is bad boy Johnson speaking (lol)

    3. You being realistic, that's what it is.

  4. Johnson4/19/2016

    So Poster, you have 2 choices:
    1. Make d guy feel used.
    2. Just walk away..., hoping to find love elsewhere.
    But sha, closeup! Don't sell yourself cheap - that way you prevent heartbreak and being hell bound. All the best.

  5. Anonymous4/19/2016

    Thank you so much Aunty Eya, Uncle Johnson and Aunty Brandybless. God bless you for replying to my post, I really do appreciate your comments. I believe too that telling I used him might work well for for me but am worried about the future that he might continue to string others along if things eventually work out between us. I stayed when he informed me about the lady, wouldn't he take that to mean that I can tolerate company in future? Thank you so so much.

    1. Johnson4/19/2016

      You stayed because u are not through with using him. Now that you have woken up, dump him fast: I wish! Worrying about the future means that u are not ready to let go... In that case, d likelihood of success is very slim.
      Telling him that he was used is something u can do if only u are ready to let go and the truth is you have to let go of this guy or end in mystery.

  6. Anty Eya. Good evening ma'am. I feel like crying dts if am not already. I have tried it again and again to comment on the recent posts but it ll nvr just open. Ah ah I don clear cache etc. N na iPhone I de use. I wonder y E de select which one to comment on. I had to go back now to dis 1 in other to pass my message.

    1. My Brandy B, don't worry everything will be fine very soon ok? Let's try something else, scroll right down, then click on "VIEW WEB VERSION " to open up PC view for you. Then scroll back up to recent posts let's see if that works. I feel bad for you, try it let's see.

  7. It is a sad situation but I dont think you will be happy with this guy if you eventually marry him because there is a tendency for him to continue to cheat. Let go of him and please. Dont sleep with any other guy until you are married. Hey its not easy but it is possible. I married very late not because there were no suitors, infact they were many but they all wanted to eat adams apple and i was not ready to give it. Never. Letting some of them go was painful especially when you think they have most of things you want in a husband. But i let them go cos i couldnt go back on my promise to God. At last i met the angel God sent to me in the form of human and thankful that i waited. It is easier when you dont have a sexual tie with these guys. Resist the temptation to sleep with a man that is not your husband. When next he comes turn him down. He will try to touch you and do all sorts of things say no. You are more than this babes. Comon raise your shoulder high and tell him you are done. You can.

  8. This guy will not make a good husband for you. Dont fall fir hom again. Tell him you are no longer interested. Avoid every thing that will give him access to you. He 8s a heart breaker. Please dont sleep with the next guy you will meet.


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