He Says 8 Months Into A Relationship Not Enough To Be Committed

How Long Before People Get Committed In Relationships?

Hello ma, I have been together with my husband 2 years.  I'm periodically furious with him because in the beginning of our relationship, he played me just because I was still young and foolish. Was pretending to be committed but still hanging on to his ex babe. I found those emails WAY afterwards. I did confront him and he said that he just had trouble letting her go but kind of blamed me for being so naive to think that 8 months into a relationship, he would have been committed. Then I keep wondering, How can he say that? People meet and get married in less than eight months. Since then he inappropriately emailed some other woman from his past (like 3 yrs ago) which I later found out.

 I don't really understand that but find it disrespectful. Then I keep feeling badly about myself. Like I'm
inadequate. And then I keep thinking he is cheating (he has threatened to do that before, in the midst of a heated argument he told me angrily that if I keep hurting him with words that he'll go out and have fun). At this point, I kind of want him to leave. And then I wonder if I should just let it go. But I don't really know how to do that even though I'm pregnant. I seriously think that he needs to pay somehow. It's not fair for him to get away with treating me like that when I've been completely loyal, it's in the past but still disturbing me. So I get angry and take shots at him once in awhile. He thinks that's just mean. And I'm happy to be a bit mean to him because I think he deserves to know that what he did has not just gone away. I don't think he's cheated since. But I resent him now. Trying to feel like the way we used to be is hard for me. Please help me ask blog readers how long it takes before people get committed in relationships.


  1. For me, 8 months into a relationship is enough time to be committed. Now you are married, please forgive seventy times seven times in a day. Then, he wasn't planning on settling down with you perhaps, but you won.

  2. Those threats are a bit childish, you be the bigger. If he talks about cheating again, tell him that the day he does it, you too will. Not that he or you should try that rubbish o. Don't even dare cheat, just return back the threats to sender. Try to be a bit more independent maybe, like you don't care and do not be clingy. Saying he needs to pay? Those are your pregnancy hormones raging. When you give birth, you'll feel happier and more at peace with yourself and hubby. Your being mean could also be the hormones, you'll be fine. Work hard to have a peaceful home.


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