My Husband Says Something Rude To Me And Don't Remember Saying It

Hello wives connection, My husband is not what I thought or what he was before we got married. I suggested we go for medical check ups but he won't burge at alI. He is getting
more and more lazy by the day and hour. I have been married for 2 years now. I am 24, hubby is 26. I have known my husband for many yrs now. We met at the college, I proceeded for my Degree but he didn't, years later we meet again and sparks fly.I am finding that my husband is not the man I thought he was. He lies a lot about our finances. He makes it seem like we are better off meanwhile we have no kobo in the bank, I mean no savings whatsoever. We are barely making it. He does not work much but does not want me to work with my certificate
. I am looking for a job anyway. He complains about being tired of working and parts of his body always hurting. I also think he has a medical condition and or depression. He will say something rude and don't remember saying it or in general say something then don't recall. Is his brain becoming lighter? I don't know.

 I am not as attracted to him anymore because of his lying. He is a Carpenter working for a big company and most of the time his boss doesn't pay when they are supposed to. I tell my husband we need money he should ask but he will not ask for it except on rare occasions. He will make up a date and say he will get paid but he does not and he knows his boss has not agreed to give him the money. He says he does this lying so I won't worry. I am very tired of the lying and passive ways. Not just passive at work but in life in generally. He wants to start a side business and I made the fliers but he doesn't want to post them yet. We have a one year old baby and we need all the money we can get. He is so laid back, no sense of urgency at all. I heard that men behave that way only when they have been jazzed and they completely depend on their wives for instruction before functioning but in this case I did not and will not even dare even if I was begged to do it. If I don't go and take those fliers out, that's how it will end. Is this how am going to live the rest of my life taking charge of responsibilities meant for a man? 


  1. Wow young couple. Okay dis is where I will advise dating before marriage. Anyway dts by the way. U need to get a job ASAP. Him too needs another job. Some men/guys are like dt, dey need to be pushed if not nothing ll get done. Your marriage is too early for you to begin with not liking him bcos of dt. What u need to do is sort how u can solve the issue at hand. Firstly how is your communication like? Seat him down and talk to him about what u uncomfortable with n how if it's not resolved ll escalate into something worse. You are now the spokesman in d crib so stand up/firm and manage your home. Divorce should dare not cross your thought. Always remember it's for better for worse.

  2. Johnson3/02/2016

    @Poster, I feel your pain... Men like your husband have very little drive/zeal and they are not disturbed by your pressure of wanting them to succeed. If you push too hard, he will most likely stay away or give u the silence-treatment. These men are suffering from what I call NFA (No Future Ambition) syndrome. They usually get married to ladies that are desperate and have a source of livelihood - I don't understand why u enter this one? Well sha, they usually come in fine package!
    What to do? Focus on yourself, child & future - career/business and try to make a success of yourself. Don't attempt to carry load that is not your own - let him be responsible for the manly duties - house rent, food, etc. You are to support & not take the leading role.
    Continue to encourage & push him, while praying for him but don't develop high BP on his case. Hopefully God will intervene and he will pick up...

  3. Could it be that he is having inferiority complex knowing that you have a degree and he doesnt? You have to try and show him love and respect so that his mind will tell him he is not a woman wrapper. He is the man and should take the lead. He shouldnt tell you not to work when he cannot provide. Cook him a very good meal, respectfully discuss with him(even though you have started to dislike him please dont show it) tell him how much you love him and that he is the man that married you.Dont compare him with other people o just tell him you will be happy if he takes action on the effort you have made so far. Dont forget the place of prayers he wasnt like that when you knew him any unseen forces making him to act wierd be cast out.


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