I am not good enough for my husband

Hello Mrs Ayambem, can you please post this on wives connection blog for me.  I have been married for 3 months now. Please take out personal details before posting.  My husband  is extremely good looking and has had lots of good
looking, popular girlfriends in the past before meeting me. I on the other hand am certainly below average and am not great in social situations like friend's birthdays , weddings or other social events.

From living together and knowing what he loves and his personality, I can say that I am basically the complete opposite of his type. Anyway, I'm so happy we don't go out much. we don't go out that much but the other night we went clubbing to enjoy our last before I get pregnant and thought we were having a great time, I got along well with him and his best friend and we were all dancing together and having a laugh. BUT today I have just found out from my husband  that one girl from his former school, a friend of an ex came up to my husband and told him 'you can do better than THAT' whilst I was standing next to him! I wish I had never found out. 

I always thought this in the back of mind but no one had ever come out and said it to me. I flashed back and Then I started to flashback and immediately realised that friends  often used to come to me while we were still dating to  say stuff like 'you are so lucky to have him' or 'you did well' or ask his own friends ask  him ' is this really your girlfriend?' And it's so hurtful to me now than before . For that lady to walk up to hubby and say that, I feel like I just completely embarrass him when we're out and around his friends. I seriously suspect that everyone around me knows I am not good enough they just don't come out and say it.  I am sorry for the long post . 


  1. Madam go and work on your self esteem. Keep in mind that men can sense low self esteem from a mile away

  2. Johnson3/31/2016

    Ur post was not long and u have no reason to be sorry. For a man to chose you among many means there's something unique & special about u; except u used jazz on him - did u? U would not feel this way if u did.
    A man that took u clubbing is definitely proud of what he has - don't spoil it for him by looking down on yourself. The way u see urself will eventually catch up with you; so please tell urself how beautifu and unique u are because that's the TRUTH!
    The best part is that it's difficult to see ugly babes dis days. So enjoy ur young marriage and like Tay said, work on your esteem..., and congratulations for the little life you're carrying. Greater joy is ahead of u, IJN.

  3. Anonymous3/31/2016

    Wow!!your self esteem sucks

  4. My own is no1 is ugly in this life. Just work on ursef. Dress good, use good perfumes, makeup, good hair, cream, clothes etc. Always be happy, put on a smiling face always. Don't bother about what people ll say. What they say ain't ur business.

  5. My friend please relax take a deep breath and see how beautiful you are. Low self esteem kills faster than aid. Please can you upgrade yourself to his taste by first liking you, look nice and pretty everytime, go out more with him and dress appropriately to sooth each event. Look at fela durotoye and tara durotoyeand Tara has the best self esteem ever so don't allow anyone rub you of your joy

    1. Johnson4/01/2016

      Abeg Mozinax, how this one take dey related to Femi vs Tara?

    2. Mr Johnson, does he need to spell it out to you?
      Poster, Mozinax has said it all o.
      Tara also has a great esteem cos she's an industrious lady, in fact, her husband is the lucky one here despite the difference in their looks.
      Enough said.

    3. Johnson4/01/2016

      Wait oh, maybe na me no understand - are u saying Tara is 'wougly' but has high self-esteem? Make una let Femi hear (lol). Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It's way beyond the face... God made all beautiful; esp African ladies with all the curves...

    4. I think Tara is a "beautiful" woman, however, I didn't used to see or think that when I was younger but as I get older, I begin to appreciate the different kinds of "beauty" there are: Omotola, Caroline Danjuma, Asa, Chimamanda, Oprah, Whoopi Goldberg- are all beautiful women with different kinds of beauty.
      I don't even see an ugly person now- except it's in a case where I feel a person has an ugly personality.
      The person has to be badly deformed for me to not see beauty in them, Mr Johnson....

  6. Jaygurl3/31/2016

    Oh my gosh,so low self esteem.. In your head since u already tink and feel you are not good enough then there's no one that can help you feel better about yourself,my friend work on your self esteem abeg,u don't v to b Beyonce or miss world,he chose and that's all that nt a miss world,but I sure know how to look good even in a nightwear and carry d way I wore a nightshirt to lesson without knowing and guess what?I rocked it well that people dint even know...bottom line is you are what you perceive yourself to be...

  7. Anonymous3/31/2016

    Thank you Mr Johnson. I always look forward to reading your comments.

  8. Anonymous3/31/2016

    Are u ebukas wife?

    1. Anonymous3/31/2016

      Y do u want to bring out d identity of dis woman? Is an anonymous post! R u one of d people causing d posters problems? Madam Eya take note don't post rubbish like

  9. Lmaooo... gosh u are mean!
    But on a serious note poster, your self esteem is pathetically low! Why though? U seriously need to work on your self confidence else u will live a life of misery. Even your hubby will take u for granted because ppl treat us how we treat ourselves. Trust me they can sense ur insecurities.
    I wonder why ur hubby would tell u something so awful though; he should be protecting ur feelings and getting rid of 'friends' who can say such thrash about his wife. But then again, maybe he has already started taking u for granted, no thanks to you.
    Go back to God & see what He says about you. Your confidence should rest solely on God's love & acceptance & no one else; not even ur hubby.

  10. Anonymous4/01/2016

    I'm sure you're beautiful but you have to realize it yourself. Be confident, dress well, smell well, always wear a smile, read wide and you'll be fine

  11. madam you are beautiful just the way you are, and that is why your man is with you. I feel so sorry for you, you can email me I wish to be your friend because you need friends that will make you know how special you are.

  12. You have complexity issues. Madam, he chooses to marry u despite meeting "beautiful and popular"ladies. Did oga complain?? Why are you disturbing yourself unnecessarily. Look at many celebs with their "not-so-pretty wives but the women re so confident of themselves. The solution lies in ur hands

  13. You have complexity issues. Madam, he chooses to marry u despite meeting "beautiful and popular"ladies. Did oga complain?? Why are you disturbing yourself unnecessarily. Look at many celebs with their "not-so-pretty wives but the women re so confident of themselves. The solution lies in ur hands

  14. Ha! This post is quite funny because, it's not common to see two people with equal looks when it comes to marriage. One person must be more good looking!
    I think what they are referring to is not your physical beauty but the way you carry yourself.
    I once dated a very handsome dude, as in, this guyis a looker and I kept asking friends, is he more handsome than I am? A few of them said yes, and those that said that was my close friends but my not too close friends said no, that I am prettier. I naturally like to look good so I worked hard on myself to be the more arresting one in the two of us.
    Listen dear poster, you need to work on your swag, your fashion sense, your looks from head to toe.
    Not all girls are naturally pretty ooo...but all thanks to make-up, we have pretty girls sashaying the streets. Not all girls are shapely, but all thanks to bum pads and waist sinchers, we have 'set girls' in the market.
    Your husband is a handsome dude and he's bound to get comments like that about you if you do not start working on yourself. Do you have a skin regimen? What kind of hair styles best suits your face? What kind of clothes best suits your figure and what colours best suit your skin tone?
    My dear, the work starts with you! Go to your draw board and sit yourself down You will testify with time.

    For interesting stories, visit

  15. Sweetie, he searched high and low and saw you as the best match, don't allow a bitter ex take your shine away, she's just bitter you got the ring. And it's not always about the physical beauty.


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