We Do Not Have A Relationship Anymore. I Feel Stuck

Good evening wives connection friends and And Eya, I have tried my best not to post here but it seems I have exhausted all other options. I have been with my husband for 20 years,
I'm 43 he is 50. Our two kids are adults now in the University, they only come during holidays and don't even bother and would rather go have fun with cousins so it's basically me and my husband alone in the house most of the time. I teach, he is a civil servant too and I think the many years of living together have affected this relationship. 

We are more like brother and sister, or flat mates. At 43, come on am still young and vibrant and looking forward to living the life. I don't want to die and go report myself that I spent all my years on earth raising kids and when they grown and left, no more life for me. I need to get a life aside coming home from work and cooking husbands dinner while he goes out drinking every night, he leaves me sitting at home cooking and cleaning. I'm getting so fed
up, we don't really have a relationship anymore, we argue a lot. I don't have a lot of money of my own to just leave and set him free to drink and enjoy his life.I feel like I'm stuck. I don't even have the desire to make things work because I too should be thinking of retirement from servitude with no fun attached. We are just there.

While the kids were growing, we weren't really that close and I didn't feel it because I had my children to keep busy and have fun with, now they are adults and it sucks.


  1. Efendu2/28/2016

    Try talking to him about spending time with you, if nothing changes, just be independent, leaarn to sort of create conversation or just find things to keep you busy and occupy your mind. If that relationship wasn't strong at the early years of your marriage, forget it. Can't start now. Focus on yourself and cooking for just the two of you shouldn't be difficult if there is electricity to help with preservation. You can cook once a month and that's that. Just get a microwave to help warm when you want to serve or eat. QED!

  2. Johnson2/29/2016

    There is a lesson here for other couples, especially the women who occupy themselves so much with the children while the husband becomes secondary. What happens is that husband & wife grow apart: it becomes almost too late when the kids grow & leave home.
    Poster – start by creating events that would inspire both of you. Plan holidays, out your home, together; visit some nice places in Nigeria. U can start with just weekend away from home. Try create fun and remind him of how he used to make u laugh & feel so wanted. Confess to him that the kids had almost put apart what God joined together. Visit some good friends – hope u share some common friends and plan little parties together…, I can see ur marriage becoming lively again…

  3. Anonymous2/29/2016

    I pray my God will deliver us women from some unromantic husband.mine is just 5 years and all he knows of is his work.always making efforts to solve office problems but will never have time for the wife.

  4. I say this all the time, the fact that children have come into a marriage doesn't mean that the intimacy between the couple should fly off the window. Madam, you can make your marriage as sweet as before. All you need to do is, bring out a diary or a book and write fun things that the two of you can do. Tick the boxes once you've achieved each task but don't let the book be empty of ideas oo...before you know it, you both would have something fun to do all the time. I wish you luck.

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