Married For 23 Years, Never Enjoyed Intimacy

Hello, I have being married for 23 years but things are not as easy as people think. Many of the women having extra marital affairs did not intend to do so. I got married at 21 as a virgin. I used to beg my hubby to have sex with me at the early stage of our marriage. I got tired and decided to forget about it.

 Last year 2015 we had sex once on the 24th Dec. I have never enjoyed sex and feel worst when ever i have sex with him. I have tried talking to him about my wants and what he should do to enable me enjoy the act but he is not interested . I have feelings but what do i do when i feel bad after sex. My hubby is not
used to any kind of romance . Am 44 now,I go through temptation but promise i will never have sexual relationship with anyone. I cannot have sex with anyone just to satisfy my sexual need. I must be in love to have any such relationship . I believe it will be in my next world. I have accepted my cross. I GO INTO DEPRESSION AT TIMES BUT GOD IS IN CONTROL.
Married women go through a lot in this part of the world . Don”t judge anyone .

10 thoughts on “Married For 23 Years, Never Enjoyed Intimacy”

  1. Try to make him jealous and see his outcome. Is not easy what married women go through most times I just keep wondering if most men do it intentional. But God will help all. Just begin to make unnecessary calls even if u ain't talking to anyone, do it when he is around and watch his reaction. All d best

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  2. Poster, this happens everywhere – it's not localized in this part of the world. If we judge ourselves, we won't be judged…

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  3. Has your husband got any medical condition that might be getting in the way? Unfortunately men do not feel comfortable talking about such issue. It might be the fear of the unknown. Try to get him to see a doctor.

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  4. Mine was something similar and he cheats. I can't stand cheating on him. He loves takes care of me. But the issue was him cheating, not acting his role in bed. So all i did was order a vibrator. Felt bad thou, but am not a rev. Sister and cant cheat on him. But i like sex. I use it when he is not home.

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  5. Mine was something similar and he cheats. I can't stand cheating on him. He loves takes care of me. But the issue was him cheating, not acting his role in bed. So all i did was order a vibrator. Felt bad thou, but am not a rev. Sister and cant cheat on him. But i like sex. I use it when he is not home.

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  6. Hello dear. Thanks for keeping the faith and not failing your marriage bed, not saying this because of your husband but rather for what is left of Christiandom. While married women sleeping around has exploded exponentially over the last decade, for people like you heaven will stand tall, and a future with hope for our coming children. We are beginning to see some of the results, violent homes, husbands killing wives on discovering the children he thought was his is not. Well before people mis-understand me, I am not saying men are not guilty, but since when do you cut the head off to treat headache………….hmmmmmmm….well let me leave that topic and discuss more direct on the matter at hand. Now you did not mention if you feel he cheats or having his fun outside, cos if not, have you ever seen your husband with the ever faithful early morning hard on? Do u know if he has a masturbation problem, gay issue, prostitute issue, drug issue or erectile/medical condition?. That as that, was he forced into the marriage, can you say he loves you, how do you look,? On the African angle…..hmmmmm…bliv it exists, was there anyone against your marriage, who did he sleep with prior to your wedding night, was any lady pregnant for him that he rejected? My dear a man is naturally randy even in his tired state, so having sex once a year is way out. The problem lies in one of the above. Prayerfully sit him down….I do hope you both still can relate at that level…and ask him some of these issues, I am sure you must have thot of some yourself before. If there are issues you want further advice on, pls do let me know. For I pray that, for the fact that you have made the institution of marriage and by extension a proof to the world that Christianity is worth practicing, heaven shall stand still and deploy every spiritual and human resource needed to solve your problem your way and turn your marital bed to bliss IJN. You shall testify.

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