He has abused me verbally, emotionally and physically

Aunty Eya,i ‘ve been following ur blog bt never commented.U are doing great with d blog more grace.
Now i have a relationship challenge which i need the house to guide me on decision(s) making.I’m in a long distant
relationship of ova 3yrs,a yr plus i discovered this guy had anger problem which he always blamed me to be the cause while i always i told him,he was incharge of his emotion(s) not 1.As a result he has abused me verbally,emotionally
& physically once.He is my ideal  man bt anger as a weakness is no for me.Example of one incident:he told me when i visited not to used certain water for food preparation & i mistakely used it when he was in the kitchen with me,he didnt react bt when i made another mistake on a different issue  he gave me a slap that left pressures in my eyes though he footed the optician bill.
He could call me all manner of names & comments like idiot,fool,mad,stubborn,he wouldnt marry bco of women wahala,i should leave him alone etc once angry.When done would call endlessly to plead. I’m at a crossed road.

21 thoughts on “He has abused me verbally, emotionally and physically”

  1. Poster – you are not at a cross-road; u are at a dead end and if u move further, u’ll hit a brick wall!
    U call him your ideal man, so why ask for comments?

    Reply
  2. Oh wow!have u been reading stories of what couples go thru in marriage? Your options are endless now n u deliberately choose to be in bondage!consider ur situation now,multiply it by a hundred or even a thousand,thats u in a marriage with him!you are in a toxic relationship n we all no wat toxins do! There is nothing loving or romantic about tears n pleading after a slap!thats manipulation n oppression! My heart goes out to u,pls receive brain IJN and do the ryt tin 4 u.

    Reply
  3. Ahh? Poster are you in prison camp? or in the military boot camp? Why must a beautiful grown woman like you put up with such nonsense behavior?? LEAVE HIM AND HIS BARBARIC WAYS!!
    Please don't say he apologies and you feel bad. Why do you think this is ok. Its not ok to be insulted no matter what mistake you make. This is not of God and bearing it will not make you a holy Christian woman. Please leave this one.
    he treats you likes this even when he has no legal claim over you??
    If he says he wants no woman wahala then give him exactly what he wants.
    All good gifts from god are not wrapped in slaps and insults. Get out of your head and emotions! remove the smokescreen! Rub the dust and wool out of your eyes! ignore what people say and get out! You will be ok and you will meet someone better. When u leave change your number. That type is controlling and will be pissed that you took his power away.
    Take back your power!!!

    Reply
  4. Re u that desperate to be loved or u just hv a dead self esteem that a man wld keep rubbishing u ds bad n u still call him ur "ideal man"? Who told u no one wld want u again? Re u d ugliest lady or what cos I can't wrap my head round d whole idea of staying wt a douch-bag who threatens u wt not marrying u each tym he's angry. Its cos he sees u as madly in love n desperate dear n trust me,he will always blame u for bringing out d worst in him after each beating to mk u feel bad n always apologize to him. RUN!!

    Reply
  5. Poster better leave this kind of bondage as soon as possible,I was verbally and emotionally abused but thought it was love,I was advised to marry him and it will reduce…hahaha,I went ahead and married him and now my name is sorry…four years with two boys, abused verbally almost everyday, physically abused twice emotionally abused countless times…he calls me stupid,idiot, foolish,dirty thing,I picked you from the gutters,the poverty in your family is pathetic etcmind you my parents are both retired directors in the civil service,I am pretty and shapely,I over boil rice and he insulted me saying lazy thing you don't do anything,you don't work and you don't bring anything to the house all you do is eat and even when I bring you can't prepare it well…hyaaaaaa…this is someone that stopped me from my teaching job because I had to join him during his residency (he is a doctor)he refused me doing business,learning a skill in fact even going out is an issue,banned me from social media,he said he is the one that will select my friends cos my old friends ate not good for me in fact ehhhhh…. Sha,I started fighting one day to liberate myself, though he hasn't change but I am gradually liberating myself,and as God will have it he finished his residency became a consultant and came back to our home state to continue working and I got a good job with a good pay…I am a lawyer…. My story is so long but but I hope the little iv written will tell you what to expect iif you decide to marry him.if you didn't listen and marry him we will wish you happy slavery life…..one day I will send my full story to aunty eya so that singles will learn from it.as for me…I am still fighting, praying am fasting he moment s

    Reply
  6. Ha! And you are still there? My dear, stop listening to his pleadings. I advice you to sit him down and tell him that his anger issues has destroyed the relationship and you want out. I assure you that if you continue with a guy like this, he'll hit you in the eye again and you'll lose not just the eye but your sanity as well. Run now! While you can.

    For more amazing stories http://www.adaezewrites.com

    Reply
  7. Ha! And you are still there? My dear, stop listening to his pleadings. I advice you to sit him down and tell him that his anger issues has destroyed the relationship and you want out. I assure you that if you continue with a guy like this, he'll hit you in the eye again and you'll lose not just the eye but your sanity as well. Run now! While you can.

    For more amazing stories http://www.adaezewrites.com

    Reply
  8. My people this girl wont listen.she has been chopping slap.since 2yrs ago.do u think she dont kmow whats right and wrong?abeg poster stay o since he is d ideal man to oneday slap u into reality.that kain slap de sweet hopefully u no go hear the dust to dust rites.ngwanu carry go.

    Reply
  9. My people this girl wont listen.she has been chopping slap.since 2yrs ago.do u think she dont kmow whats right and wrong?abeg poster stay o since he is d ideal man to oneday slap u into reality.that kain slap de sweet hopefully u no go hear the dust to dust rites.ngwanu carry go.

    Reply
  10. Are you asking us if you should leave him or telling us who have left him? Abeg you are on your own if are still with him.

    Reply
  11. Sometimes I imagine why people are in abusive relationships and still stay. Some would even tell you to pray about it. I remember the story of a man that stabbed his wife 72 times according to post mortem. I am very sure the man had anger issues and he started with hitting the lady or maybe with slaps sef. In your own case, you are not even married to this guy. Shld nt u run for your life. If a guys hits u while you are dating. What do u expect when you are married. My dear run run and run for ur life. ND to the married ones too. I am not saying u shld nt pray for ur spouse to change but please pray from a distance because delay might be too late. It's not easy tho.

    Reply
  12. Aunty Eya,im grateful for the swift post & to the house all were wonderful.They all agreed i should quit.The voice of the people is the voice of God so they say.Thanks again

    Reply

Leave a Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.