Broken Trust, Can This Be Fixed?

Hello Aunty Eya, Hello wives connection, please come to my rescue. Okay am a first time poster on the blog and pretty nervous. I'm really sorry for the long mail I'm sending. I'm in a serious relationship,  and I've been dating my girlfriend for a little over a year. Everything moved pretty quickly and we do currently live together in faraway North where we both work, even though none of us comes from the North. She has a drinking problem and we've struggled with her anger and the lack of emotional support she gives me. She has her own problems from previous experiences and past relationships. She has trouble opening up and doesn't really know how to talk about her feelings. I'm a huge
sharer and I try to not overwhelm her but sometimes I do.
Anyways, she hit rock bottom recently. She didn't pick me up from work as agreed and showed up past midnight completely drunk. She sobbed and told me it was time to change and that she would get help. I was furious but glad she was sorry and I agreed to stay with her and to help her overcome her alcoholic challenge. That morning while she was passed out I looked at her phone. I had never done this before but she had been so secretive about it and it wouldn't put it down and I was so curious I was about to burst. I thought I would find her possibly talking about drinking or badmouthing me to friends but I found a dating app. She had talked to dozens and dozens of girls and guys on there. She handed out her number and Snap chat name to a few. None of the messages were sexual but she did compliment them and lie about things in her life to make herself more attractive or interesting. She also called me her cousin and made sure to not check that she was in a relationship. 
This had been going on for almost 2 months and in those months was our 1 year anniversary of putting a ring on it (proposing), and a small vacation in Lagos that I had saved up to take her on. I worked really hard on that vacation and she was messaging them through all of it and even mentioned that it wasn't that great of a trip to one. It was like reading messages written by a completely stranger. I just never expected it.
I tried to kick her out that morning but she was so upset and I've never had much of a spine. I told her she could stay. I've never been so hurt. That was almost a week ago and she's been going to fellowship and has tried to do everything to make it right but I don't know if anything can make up for what she's done. She also is trying to convince me that Snapchat glitched out and lied about her snapping one of those boys. I want things so badly to work but I don't know if I can ever trust her again and I don't think this relationship is healthy for me anymore. I don't know if it was healthy to begin with. I am a very indecisive kind of person, I need help about what to do next.

Comments

  1. Johnson2/11/2016

    The lady seems more like the man in this relationship & the relationship looks more like something borne out of circumstance – being together in a lonely zone brought u guyz together.
    1. You cannot help her drinking habit – it’s something between her & God to deal with.
    2. She is spreading her net wide ready to catch any possible fish. If she get a big catch, she will dump u.
    3. Both of u are just playing despite putting on ring – except both families are aware of this.
    If u cannot be in charge – as in be the man she can respect/honour, pls just focus on your career and wait for God’s leading regarding a future partner.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yeah but u can help with d drinking habits by strong discipline. U need to be firm n friendly in your decision. Am happy u saw all that in her phone. It ll probably help her open up. Seat her down n tel her about everything u saw, u can pretend u want to put an end to the relationship n see her actions. U really need to be firm, stand up to your decisions. No one is perfect give her d benefits of doubt n watch. But I believe dis a good opportunity for you to help her to be free with u. If she's isn't free how ll she open up? Take things out let their b room for excellent communication. All d best

    ReplyDelete
  3. From all you said above, this girl is not for you. If she could go on social media platforms to say you're not her fiance and also badmouth the vacation you guys had....naaaaaaaa.
    You are a side-guy and the main guy is not in view but when he comes, you'll be tossed out into the cold.
    I'm not here to judge but the fact that she has drinking problems, is a write off.

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    ReplyDelete
  4. My thoughts exactly at adeze!Bros,pls let her go,she might become remorseful and change her double life.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Rejoice4Sam2/11/2016

    As far as I'm concern eeeh, you are simply her Mugu,she doesn't love you can't you see. She is just using you simple. At the end she will Leave you heart broken. You have seen the signs, that relationship is not healthy and trust me you can't help her drinking habit. Nonsense why should a lady be taken to alcohol like that. Please leave her before its too late.she doesn't love and she never will. You are a good man, just keep searching God will bring a good woman to you, who will love, respect and value your worth. Pls be careful ok

    ReplyDelete
  6. Seem like u went beyond bounds t get ds madam. U sound like a nice man so what u doing wt an alcoholic?? And again,u re just an alternative for now cos ds lady ds nt want or love u. She's wt u cos u can take her bullish*t. Find a woman of ur type n let d one wt so much baggage go pls! Sue

    ReplyDelete

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