My Husband Is Too Embarrassed To Go Back To The Doctor, What Do I Do to Help My Marriage?

Hello Aunty Eya, I need you to remove my details before sharing this because I suspect the hubby reads wives connection too. I live in a sexless marriage because he is not ready to go back to the hospital for his erectile dysfunction issues ..have been married 3 years. We dated for a year before marriage. .I knew my husband had problems before we got married.  He promised to get help..He tried to use viagra ... he used it once.....was still not good. it  Didnt really help him.Because of this problem and his low libido,  plus stress from a workaholic boss at the office and the traffic that doesn't help matters, he has become  not very romantic. 

I asked him to try something else, to look for some enhancing
drugs or something  but he just does not want to go to the doctor again, he says he is embarrassed.  I can't go on like this i am thinking of having an affair even if for once to help me get pregnant because my biological clok is ticking fast, I don't want to grow old without my own kids, even though I knew he had problems before marrying him, he promised to get help after our wedding but years are passing and after just one appointment,  he is claiming embarrassment as the reason he cannot go back even when the Doctor is a man like himself.  I do love my husband but i cant stand not having any affection nor romance.. His romance is a quick peck and maybe holding of the hands.  No intamacy whatsoever. I am very unhappy in that department.  I have talked to him again and again but get no results. He watches beautiful women on tv and pauses to stare well well when i am not around, i caught him a few times plus he talks about other beautiful women in our church which doesnt make me feel very attractive or appealing. But he also calls me the most beautiful woman in his life.  It makes me feel ugly and fat when he watches and talks about other women and doesnt seam to want to get help for himself or us as a matter of fact that he cannot preform. Sometimes i wonder o.  if he is gay or transmission but hiding because Nigerian law does not allow such..i have even come right out and asked him..which he denies..I just cant understand why he will not go and get help, is he hiding something from me or using me as cover up so no one suspects his private status?  Aunty  Eya , there is nothing I haven't  thought about in this situation.  People see us outside and wonder why I'm not pregnant up till now. His mother sef has started eyeing me in a funny way each time we go visiting. what does one do..how does one cope with someone who had difficulty preforming or even not even trying to get help so we can have a  normal marriage.i just  dont understand what to do...

Comments

  1. Anonymous1/07/2016

    This is serious o, you should have allowed him get help before getting married O.Please talk to him and beg him to get help as soon as possible. You both can visit the doctor together I think that should boost his Ego a bit. if he refuses, then you have no other choice than to tell him he promised you he will get help and since he cant keep his promise to you, you might as well not keep your own promise to love and cherish him.

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  2. Anonymous1/07/2016

    This is serious o, you should have allowed him get help before getting married O.Please talk to him and beg him to get help as soon as possible. You both can visit the doctor together I think that should boost his Ego a bit. if he refuses, then you have no other choice than to tell him he promised you he will get help and since he cant keep his promise to you, you might as well not keep your own promise to love and cherish him.

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  3. Anonymous1/07/2016

    He's not serious about his health.Madam leave him and go have your children. You can't remain barren because of one unserious human being.

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  4. Anonymous1/07/2016

    This kind of problem is grounds for an annulment. Especially with him being unwilling to seek treatment. I suspect he may know the root cause of his impotence and he secretly believes that medicine cannot help. Is he not worried that his inability to have sex will drive you into the arms of another man? Think about it deeply o. Marital satisfaction and motherhood are essential to a woman's happiness. Just my opinion.

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    Replies
    1. You are very correct I think he has a bigger issue he's hiding and just using embarrassment as cover up

      Delete
  5. Anonymous1/07/2016

    R u sure he hasn't donated his potency somwhere n so d reason 4 his non chalance? Pls advice him 2 see a urologist ina teaching hospital n accompany him if possible.talk 2 someone u n him respect.someone dat isn't flippant,explain d situation 2 d person 2 stylishly talk to ur hub about it n encourage him 2 seek medical attention as soon as possible!above all,pls put God first in this matter.

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  6. Anonymous1/07/2016

    So you want to remain childlesa abi?even mad women on d streets through no fault of theirs av kids talkless of sane people that refuse to get help.na wa o.erectile dysfunction is one tin.low sperm count is another.you can always try artificial inseminatiom.if iys the other way aroind am very positive you would av seen d other side of him by impregnating sumone else to test if his soldiers march.#notime

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  7. Threaten him u ll raise alarm by telling family members if he doesn't go get help WTF ah ah. Maybe he even knows what he is doing. Tell him u can't continue like dis. Give him 2weeks to go c a Dr n follow him oo before he comes back n lie to you dts if he goes sef. Madam y slowing oooooo open eyes abeg. Remember if it's you dt had issues by now you for don c another woman for dt house or pikin. Be wise mbok

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  8. Johnson1/07/2016

    I am sure you know that being wise is not to offend God?
    Do all you can to make him bulge - even using cheap blackmail! Sure he would not want some persons to know this condition?
    There are 2 issues here - erection disorder and making babies. They should be handled differently.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Anonymous1/12/2016

    Pls readers and posters,what can a woman take to increase her libido?

    ReplyDelete

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