Is It Acceptable to force my wife under this circumstance?

Hello Eya, I don't care if my wife reads the wives connection or not because I'm dying inside. I have to post this. I come from a family where as a child, I knew dad was cheating on my mother. My parents cohabitate. My father provides for my mother. She takes care of the house, in turn he cheats. He cheats to have his needs met since she has long since stopped responding to his needs. He will not leave her because? the reason I never knew. He remained with her even when each night we all saw her take a small mattress into the sitting room and sleep there instead of their bedroom.   Neither one of them was really happy. I swore I would never have that kind of marriage. Now it seems the only way to keep
from having that kind of marriage is to leave my wife. I love her, and I don't want another. I've never been unfaithful. Never even considered being unfaithful until this last year.

Talking hasn't helped. Me "working for it", isn't working. At the end of the day, I feel sad and empty of nothing but resentment. I have even taken to sleeping in the spare bedroom because I don't even want to be near her. I'm counting every day till my youngest reaches 18, that way I can leave. Just 14 more years.

Ma, you need to see how my wife doesn't care about my feelings. We  have two children the youngest is only 4. I'm thinking of how I can help myself. I would be happy if our only problem was that we where no longer as intimate as we once where. In fact, we aren't intimate at all. At the very best she treats like a chore, at the very worst we have to have an argument before she is willing to meet my needs. Yet, she still expects the same emotional commitment from me whether or not my needs are met. I just can't do it any longer. I find myself being supportive, listening to her feelings, and never getting my needs met. Is it ok to force her?


  1. Anonymous1/17/2016

    No it is not ok to force her!!! How would you feel when you are done and she is bleeding and crying??? You need to find a way to speak to her heart. Maybe woo her again. The way you used to woo her before you got married. Treat her like a lady you just met that you are trying to sleep with, because if you were going to go outside thats what you would do anyway. so stop treating it as if its your right

  2. Anonymous1/17/2016

    How can you wait that long? You try sha.

  3. Forcing won't solve the problem. Neither will going outside. You'll only compound issues with adultery. There seems to be more that meets the eye. Is there something you are doing or not doing to your wife in bed that is causing her to shut you out? And then beyond the bed, how do you treat her? Women are wired differently from men. You want to make love to her at night? You'll have to start with the right attitude in the day. A smile, a call, laughter, a kind word... A woman will respond to a man sexually the way he connects with her non-sexually. Then in the bedroom, do you know and do what she likes

  4. Anonymous1/18/2016

    Has your marital sex life ever been Goodall? If it was good once, where did the turning point occur? Women are emotional beings (unlike men who can have sex without feelings). You guys need a heart to heart discussion. Both of you need to be ready to bare your minds to each other, forgive and make necessary changes. All the best.

  5. Anonymous1/18/2016

    Sorry, that should read "has your marital sex life ever been good at all?"

  6. Poster please dont force her. If you sex life was good in the past then there is something going on. Have a heart to heart conversation with her, ask questiobs, ask her to tell you what the main problem is and why she is not up for it like she use to.
    She might get tired a lot from work, chores, kids, cooking, is she going through some kind of stress or depression? Do you help ger with practical things around the house? Do you woo her? Are you romantic and give her emotional attention? Does she feel physically not up to it because if her looks or is it financial problems?
    Please consider all these options and speak to her in a calm way and ket her know exactly how you feel. If and when she opens up to you, pleasesupport her to tackle the problem. Do not rush into sex until she is up for it please.
    I can assure when the issue is rosolved and the you continue to pay her the attention you dod when you met. She will come for you herself.

  7. Anonymous1/21/2016

    Poster it is never acceptable to force ur wife under any circumstance. Rather sit her down with love, have a herath to hearth chat with her and find out what her problem is. It could be that you might have put her off unknowingly. I don't mean to insult u or take side, but am just baring my mind. Sometimes Men also let themselves go by not taking proper care of is not only women that does do it as well.please find out from her what the problem is. Depending on your method of approach, am sure she will open up. She is ur wife. And both of u can find a way to resolve it. Also involve God with all ur hearth trust me things will work out fine.

  8. Anonymous1/28/2016

    I wouldn't advocate sitting her down. That way, when she agrees to be intimate, it would simply be because she wants to do the "right' thing. Start acting it. Take her by surprise. I usually get the drift hours before my husband and I become intimate; a smile, a touch, a text msg. Women act on their feelings and they must be touched before they can enjoy the sexual act. That is why an angry or unhappy man can still enjoy the act, whereas the reverse is the case in the case of the woman. Like a wise man once told me, ''Women react to love, men show the love''. Goodluck.


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