I Want To Confess And Apologize Without Causing More Harm

Hi Mrs Eya, this is a confused male reader posting because I don't know how women think or look at issues. There is 21 days fasting and prayer going on in my church this month and as an ordained worker, it is expected that I participate, aside that, I made myself a promise that I'll be more committed in spiritual matters this year. Days are passing and very soon the programme will end yet, I haven't been able to fast because of the weight on my chest.

We once had serious issues with my wife, that took about  3 months to resolve and during that period I
cheated on her, but cut off that affair as soon as we settled our differences. Ever since that incident, I still feel like a dirty sinner. The reason I haven't been able to fast. I want to confess to my beautiful wife and apologize too, so that fasting can commence but the problem is... how do I go about the confession and apology without causing more harm?


  1. Just like the saying goes, 'never go to sleep without resolving the problem with your spouse. Never let the sun set while you are still angry'.
    There's no better way to apologize than to be truly contrite. And when you are contrite and you show that you have really regretted your actions, she'll forgive you sincerely.
    However, after the plea for pardon, make sure that for future problems, you both settle your quarrels before going to bed and do not look for consolation outside once you are not ready for a divorce!

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  2. Anonymous1/18/2016

    Saint Mary de husband! are you a learner? Confess to your God and leave it at that. You don't need to confess to her. women like unnecessary wahala.

  3. Anonymous1/18/2016


  4. What d point dwelling in the past huh? It's all past. Just go to God n confess n ask for forgiveness. Is not like she caught u in d act or something. Please move on n change your ways. If you truly know it won't happen again. It's devil dt ll keep reminding y so dt u ll remain in d past.

  5. Johnson1/18/2016

    There's a dent in your spiritual life due to the extra-marital affair, but Jesus will fix it. Seems like the settlement with madam (your wife) ended the extra-marital affair, which could also mean that another serious issue (with her) can lead to another affair.
    The way to be free, like some have said, is to confess to God. However, you need to restitute what you have done. This process does not only make sure you’re forgiven but ensures you are set free. How can you do this? I will assume your family attends the same church… Identify someone who understands godly marriage and can intervene (speak to you & your wife). Share your story and let this person(s) do the talking to your wife, in your presence - you then apologize. This way, I assure you that you will have total victory over the accuser.

  6. Johnson1/18/2016

    Let me add, if you’re not able to identify someone as witness, please ask the Holy Spirit to help you. And prayerfully confess to your wife. Sure all will be well.

  7. Anonymous1/18/2016

    I need help please. Who knows the cost if a 3 tier wedding cake?

  8. Anonymous1/18/2016

    The cost of a 3 tier wedding cake

  9. Anonymous1/18/2016

    don't tell your wife. I would not want to know. go confess to a priest. she's happy. she thinks her man is faithful. leave her alone

  10. It is God who forgives,dont compound ur problems by confessing anything to ur wife,it is d devil dt is playing wit you now wanting to cause u broken home God might hav forgiven u so forgive urself and move on

  11. Anonymous1/19/2016

    Enter your comment...I agree with what Johnson said,only then will u peace n honest love descend on you, but u must first of all know who your wife is, her type of personality, then take it to God in prayer if you are truly sorry,before you approach her. I believe God will help you and you will be able to proceed with the fasting. Egodi

  12. Poster1/19/2016

    Thanks a lot for the responses. I confessed to my pastor yesterday and he has invited my wife and I to see him at the church office today. Pray for me.

  13. My dear,if you ask me I'd say wisdom is. Profitable to direct. What u think is righteous to do would lead u to an eternal regret as wifey would never forget the story.Plz,tlk to God about it,start up the fast as soon as now and move on with life.But u must never go back to it as God would expose you if u dare.

  14. Please dont bore her with your dirty past, confess to God and sin no more.

  15. Johnson1/21/2016

    Poster - I salute your courage. I see the devil crying cos he lost!


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