I am battling Emotional Infidelity from my husband

 Please I need ur candid advice, mr Johnson, Adaeze, Brandybless and all other wonderful blog visitors
My marriage is 9years and for some years about 4years now I have been battling with emotional infidelity from my hubby. There is this number he always calls n they can stay on the phone for like 30mins or more each day and this can happen 3times a day. I have complained, begged, nagged
and asked him to stop, he insisted that he has nothing to do with her but never call her or pick her call in my presence.

Every little opportunity he gets when we are together, he will quickly call her and delete it not knowing that I'm watching him. I've tried to accept that they are not doing anything but I'm finding it difficult to accept and adapt to this cos it's breaking my heart. How do I handle this? Does it mean that my hubby don't care about my feelings. I have told him that if he cares about our marriage he should cut off every ties with this lady but all to no avail. What do I do?


  1. It would be difficult but just try nd ignore him. Dnt let it get to since u ve talked about it.get busy with ur fone while he calls her u Cld chat wt ur sister or sth but look happy nd dnt let him get to you.

  2. My Dear . It's truly a hard time/situation I understand but I ll list my advice.
    Firstly : don't talk to him about it again n don't snoop into his phone again . Just be calm even wen she calls n close to the phone pretend over it and act /pretend to be happy. As far as he doesn't call her in your presence, just bon jare
    Secondly : go to prayers about everything. Lastly : Always be happy even if you have to fake it please do. Don't show him u jealous . Mbok don't allow dis to steal your joy and affect your happy home. Allow his conscience deal with him. Just as they say -there's 1m meaning to a woman's smile . Cheers ma'am

  3. Johnson1/25/2016

    Whoever your husband speaks with (daily) for up to 30min should be known to you; who is she - Colleague, friend, former girlfriend, single/married, etc. What is the subject of their conversation – sure he was not hiding before? This also means your husband either loves to gist or is being held bound by this lady. And for you, do you spend quality time talking with your husband? What is the subject of your conversation – work, gossip, jokes, children, politics, future plans, etc? Hope you do not always bring up difficult conversation...
    I believe that you might need to build, or work on, the relationship between you and hubby. Apart from being the wife/mother, be the girlfriend. Spend more time in having fruitful conversation with him and make effort to avoid discussions that will make him withdrawn.
    I will recommend that you look for this movie – “WAR ROOM”. God will grant you uncommon wisdom to deal with every negative interference in your home.

  4. I think that the first thing you need to do is find out who this lady is, is she a relative, a friend, colleague? Let's look at it this way, what if your husband is not having a relationship with her but is close friends with her? I know someone whose husband's best friend is a lady, and he discusses practically everything with her because he's not that close with his wife. Were you friends with your hubby before you got married to him? How often do you guys communicate and when I mean communicate, I mean, gist. I agree that the calls he makes to this woman is too frequent and I feel he should stop it for your sanity and peace of mind. Like I said earlier, get to know who the woman is and understand what you are truly facing.

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  5. poster1/25/2016

    I don't know the lady in person but have seen her picture at whatsapp. She is not my hubby's colleague nor business partner. In fact her line of business is not the same with my hubby and the location is equally not the same. I have asked my hubby where he met her but he refuse to disclose it to me. I have asked him what they discuss and he said nothing. I know what the lady sells and where she is selling but the market is a huge one so I don't know how to locate her shop but will give it a trial

  6. Anonymous1/25/2016

    Get ur own (not real) and do too. Go n watch Mr and Mrs

  7. @Poster, good idea! Try and find out who the lady is because the truth is, you need to know who she is before sitting your husband down giving him a pep talk. If she's not in the same line of business as he is, then she must be an ex-friend or girlfriend.

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  8. Its quite difficult to live with emotional infidelity. Its either your husband does not love you/care about you or there is a communication problem at home. Now affairs are bad but relationships are worse, they are the ones that undermine marriages. I bliv your husband is in a relationship, and I don't bliv in that cock n bull story of just being friends. Hell NO. I am married too and real men or women should know the limit of friendship especially where spouses are exposed. Now, obviously you love this man so don't sit and just watch. However stop snooping on his phone or conversation. Ignore him and look for a trusted person that he knows that will not give your secret away, then get a line and leave it with the person, a family member or pastor will do, so you can defend yourself if things go south, trust me, men can be YELLOW and will go ballistic when your game goes into play. Now the game. List this nos on your phone with a code......u know.....DRA...BR....or something like that. Then call this nos first thing in the morning, maybe in the toilet or when walking along the passage or something, and also last thing at night. I would love if the nos is on those platforms that allows you talk for free to registered numbers. Send text messages that are slightly above mild but caring.......u re u, hope u have had dinner....etc. Now watch my paddy re-act. I am sure he will be almost ready to throw you out . Its at this point you will invite the person you have been talking to. Please if this ever plays out well you must be bold at this point when this happens and tell him you will take no are his best friend, he should find a way to talk with you and enjoy it, marriage is meant to be nutured and cared for. I wish you all the best and please do not forget the place of prayer. You could pray that woman into not liking your husband again. FAITH works WONDERS.

  9. POSTER1/26/2016

    In terms of gisting with my hubby, we do that a lot that is why I always ask him what does he wants. We see movies together, prepare the children for school together. We stay in the bathroom and talk even if he is the one or am the one using the toilet. We can wake up by 2am and gist till day break. We might be gisting and fall asleep. But since he met this lady all has gone to the wind. She is not his former girl friend. All he says she is nothing to him but our communication has drifted apart. When he comes back from his business, he eats, have his bath and straight to the bed.maybe at the middle of the night he turns around to make love and after that he sleeps off. I will ask him how was ur day and to chat with him but he will say he is tired.I have complain all to no avail. I'm equally a business woman but I make sure that I create a quality time to chat with him but he always avoid it. Sometimes he will oblige and after a while he will go back to his shell

  10. Johnson1/27/2016

    Poster, there is more to this than meets the eye... I also hope you are not the one pushing him away without knowing it. Men also want to be appreciated and will feel betrayed when our wife begin to question our loyalty and the value we play on them.
    This type cannot go except thru fasting and prayer. Hand am over to papa God. He only knows the best way out!


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