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Experiencing Verbal Abuse In A Subtle Way

Hello Aunty Eya, Happy new year to you and the very handsome baby Chairman of the family, please help me post this mail on the blog; 
Honestly, verbal abuse is just as bad as physical abuse. Growing up, there were 5 siblings, I'm the middle kid. When I was a teenager, I noticed my father would decide not to talk to my mom for weeks or even months at a time. There was a time when my younger brother just under me asked my mom if our youngest sister was adopted since dad didn't talk to her whenever he was not talking to mom. Even now that we are all adults, I don't see my dad showing her affection like a father should. When I tried to ask him, he said he loves all his children equally that it's my brain playing games. 

 I felt so bad for my sis because the silent treatment from a parent is just as bad as verbal abuse IMO...I vowed I would never treat my children that way, and I didn't. Now that my
children have grown and all moved into boarding schools, I again am experiencing verbal abuse, but in a subtle way, from my spouse...little jabs here and there, harsh tone and disrespect in the presence of visitors and when I try to share my feelings. Granted, these aren't a big deal, but they still leave bruises where it has hurt me. Now that the kids are gone and I looked forward to our just having a honeymoon kind of relationship enjoying our lives, the reverse is the case. He uses some words I don't like, and makes me unhappy around him, these days, I chose to stay in the room when he is in the sitting room and in the sitting room when he is in the bed room. I quickly eat my breakfast or dinner in the kitchen before serving his because I don't want a conversation to start as that may end in him saying unkind words.

Even though he has never laid a finger on me, I know he is abusing me verbally but do not know what to do. I brought it up twice, gave him reasons for my feeling  abused and rather than apologize, he began to defend himself at both times. I feel there's no point bringing up the matter with him. It's better to endure but, then, I ask myself "why would I endure any form of abuse now that I should be enjoying my life?

Comments

  1. Monique1/09/2016

    Some men will never hit you but the verbal abuse from their mouth na die. Me am one person that would prefer to be smacked than to be shouted at.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous1/09/2016

    It's interesting how our marriages can sometimes mirror that of our parents in a negative way. It is almost as if we try to recreate what we are used to, believing that it is normal, even when we consciously want the opposite. I think you guys need counselling and prayer. Find a good, godly marriage counsellor to help you. There may be underlying issues that your husband is not aware of that are causing him to behave in this manner. Pray and get close to God.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm not married but I saw in my parents marriage that verbal abuse is the worst. It's hard to forget how someone made you feel.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous1/10/2016

    verbal abuse, physical abuse,emotional abuse all I experienced with my mother. hence the reason I don't really love her. I suffered.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I accept with @anonymous our marriage can be a mirror of our parents.

    ReplyDelete

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