My Wife Is Too Bossy To Change, Feels Superior to me

Hello Madam Eya, God bless you for what you are doing on this platform.  I found your blog, introduced my wife to it but she is not that kind of person. All she likes is just watching Mexican soap operas on TV.  It's a strange  thing to be married for sixteen years and yet still feel tired of being alone. I guess only somebody in an abusive marriage would understand such a thing. Well, let me put it this way:
    I have long given up discussing anything with my wife, because one of two things will happen: she will not listen to what I have said and then misquote me all over the place and twist everything around a thousand ways from sundown to demonstrate what a low life I am, or she will ask my opinion or advice on something, and then do just the opposite; when it fails, she blames me and claims it's because she followed my advice. So, I don't talk with my wife anymore.

 See, she decided a long time ago that she was superior to me and that she had to be in control of everything because I didn't possess the intelligence that she does. THAT's when we stopped being partners. She started telling us what we are going to do, and how we are going to do it; that's when we stopped being friends. She stopped our sex life; that's when we stopped being intimate. She did all these things; that's when we stopped being husband and wife.
    So, now I live here trapped in this marriage, because I don't know how I could balance four school age children and hold a job, and maintain myself. And I live here trapped in this marriage because I'm only employed part time right now, and I can't afford  what it takes to end this nightmare.
    So, what does this come down to then? Am I tired of being alone? Or am I tired of being lonely? Or am I tired of being held against my will from going and finding a real partner who will love me and be my partner and talk with me and enjoy life with me?

     I think, to be honest, that I enjoy being alone, it's the loneliness that I suffer from. Being alone, I can come and go as I please. I just have nobody to do it with. I have nobody at my side to point and say, "Look at how the moon is shining through the tops of the pine trees". I have nobody to sit on the sofa with and eat popcorn during the movie. And through it all, she's right here with me. It's a fate worse than death. The saddest and sickest thing about it all is that I know there are people out there who are in the exact same predicament as me. This isn't how life is supposed to be; it's not how marriage is supposed to be.

     Until June 6th, I had someone to share things with. A wonderful friend who knew how to calm and encourage me.  We spent a great deal of time together, discussing so many things. But on June 6th, my friend died. Now, I'm alone. Truly alone. I feel as though even God has abandoned me.
      And I keep waiting for God to have mercy and send me supernatural help, but day after day, He sits up there, watching me suffer through this living hell, and does nothing. This has to end. A human life can't go on like this. A person can only endure so much. 


  1. Anonymous12/07/2015

    Try to be strong

  2. You can still have a thorough discussion with your wife. It is not over until it over. Don't give up on her.

  3. Hmmmm Akpanka. No b small thing. It's well tho please look for who she listen to n talk out d situation to d person. Or her family member, dis kinda fixed but keep praying mbok. All the best

  4. Don't ever talk about God abandoning u or sitting and doing nothing dt is wrong and u should ask for forgiveness,with this write up u sound to me like a weak man who likes to blame people for their problems (sorry to say) u let ur wife be d man and u become d woman and u are complaining,no woman can respect a man dt can't provide for her and protect her Oga instead of whining and complaining step up ur game and look for how to pay bills at home and be a father to ur kids

  5. Swallow your pride and accept your wife's help .she is there to complement you and not to override you.stop competing with your well to improve yourself in all aspects.Above all give your life to Christ.He will help you in no small way in fixing all these problems.cheers.

  6. All you need to do is invite Jesus Christ in to your life and you will have peace. The Bible says vain is the help of men, that is to say vain is everything man can offer, all you need now is to look up to Jesus, for he is every thing you need. Man will always fail you just as your wife did but Jesus is the only friend that will stand by you through thick and thin.

  7. SD Bernard12/07/2015

    From ur story u are lazy.I hate lazy pple..must u wait for some1 to make u happy?

  8. Bamgbade12/07/2015

    Marriage is more Dan wat u called its name, ''MANAGE '' each other weaknesses. Love her again and again with respect.

  9. Mbok where is Anty Eya and Anty Adaeze comments? Something is missing

    1. I'm still here nodding in agreement with you guys comments. I can't think of anything he can do to make her change. If she decides, then it's done. I think it's in her nature to be like that. Father please help your son, touch his wife to turn a new leaf. Amen.


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