We Met Online, He Said I Am Free To Go Get Married To Another Man, Yet I Dumped My Fiance And Ran Back To Him Again, Cannot Help Myself, I need Help

Good morning, I recently started following your blog and I was inspired to share mine too. Am in my late thirties and as a Nigerian my family wants me to settle down. I have been in a relationship for over 3yrs now and he keeps shifting our plans concerning settling down. We
quarrel A lot and each time I Will end the relationship but he will always want us back. The reason for our continous disagreement is his chatting attitude, he has a thousand and one girls he always chats with and I have complained severally about it but he will always say he has nothing with them just mere chatting. he passworded his phone cos of me . sometimes am able to open his phone and what I see is not pleasant at all. I have met girls in his place on two occasions, the last I met he told me he is not married yet that I should free him. That I don't give him space.l was angry but we later settled.

 I love him a lot but he always tells me my love for him is based on sex and that am too jealous that if my love for him is real I will trust him. He has taken me to know his mum and some of his siblings, also introduced me to some of his colleagues as his fiancee, although we met online, his chatting attitude is what I can't take. He promised to stop but hasn't yet. Any time he sees me approaching, he pretend as if he wasn't chatting, I just smile while sometimes I complain. I really want to leave him but can't,  

I have blocked him severally on whatsaap, BBM and Facebook but I always add him back and he has warned me never to block him again. 

Meanwhile my old relationship wants us to get married but I don't love him. He is aware of my love for this other guy but still wants me as his wife. Because of his consistent disturbance of wanting to come and see my parents for introduction and the unwilling attitude of my guy of over three years, I allowed him to and we fixed a date for the introduction not without me informing the other guy of my plans, but what he could say was that he can't stop me from getting married. This pushed me to go ahead with the introduction but on the introduction morning I was crying cos that wasn't what I wanted. But I pulled myself together and we did it. 

After the introduction he sent me a picture message saying 'those that love us never leavesus' and that he wishes me the best. I told him he was the one that pushed me to it. After that he kept  in touch telling me to come and check the house he wants to rent if it's Ok.
 I told him that am engaged now but for how long was I able to do that? Not up to a month I went back to him again and told my engaged guy that I can't continue cos I love someone else. 
But with his attitude am confused, soo confused please don't crucify me.l need your candid advice....


  1. Anonymous11/13/2015

    When a woman places no value on herself, a man uses her selfishly. You're in your late 30s not 90s and you're letting a man do you like toy. If the guy really loves you, he will not be toying with you. He will cherish you.
    I'm not saying you should marry someone you don't love but you shouldn't also be with someone that doesn't love you.

  2. Anonymous11/13/2015

    Don't be surprised this guy you claim to love might end up not marrying you...& when it comes to the issue of settling down you have to look beyound LOVE! There are so many other things you need to consider b4 saying I Do....don't forget that love fades with time its friendship that sustains a marriage! Don't love stupidly dear, love with brains! When love is one sided then abuse is inevitable! My own advise is if that other guy would still accept you then go back to him,(that's if he posses the qualities you want in a man) then try give him a space in your heart bcos its possible you don't wanna love him bcos the other guy has taken your heart....


  4. Anonymous11/13/2015

    It's the sex right? Better shine your eye now and don't throw yourself at a man for the stupid fact he's good in bed. Go get married now before you start regretting.

  5. Poster,what is really wrong with you?Don't you see that useless guy is just using you.Where is your common sense?

  6. yeye woman, wait untill menopause finally chatches up with you. you are nearly there if u don know. bette marry this one that is real, i believe love will come if u give it a chance. i don say my own

  7. yeye woman, wait untill menopause finally chatches up with you. you are nearly there if u don know. bette marry this one that is real, i believe love will come if u give it a chance. i don say my own

  8. Dear poster, please be wise so you don't waste precious years of your life on fruitless adventures. You haven't given the other guy a chance because you probably are blinded by feelings for this one who doesn't care about you. If you let yourself, you might feel something for your fiancé , that's if he accepts you back o.

  9. Please go back to the guy u did introduction with mbok ah ah.


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