My Husband's Irresponsible Behavior Has No Part Two, Can Other Women Please Help A Sister

Hi Eya, I don't know where to start from but pls hide my identity thanks will also try to make it brief as possible.... I'm a new subscriber to this platform. I can't say I have a smooth past or that I'm perfect. I met my
husband 9 years ‎ago we've bn friends he knows me inside out I tell him all that happened in my life as at that period he used to advice and encourage me like a big brother...broke up with my ex not late after he asked for my hand in marriage at first I was reluctant that one he knows too much and also he is 10 yrs older than I am but eventually I gave in that I knew him. I stay in lagos buy he stays in the east when I started visiting him I observed that he lied about who he truly was all the years I've known him not just to me but everyone I confronted him he apologised then we broke up later I forgave him and we made up....i assumed it's really no big deal starting afresh with him at least I'm working and as at then he just graduated To cut the long story short we got married. My family and I sponsored the major part of the ceremony.  We had various plans b4 we got married one of it was getting an accommodation houses in lag are expensive and I did not want what will be too far away from my office we searched for house of different grade but he was always faulting them. Was forced to stay with my parents and sometimes go and stay with my sister in law I was pregnant and it was not easy for me so I gave in to the suggestion that ‎I should keep squatting.... b4 I gave birth we still went looking for house but the stories never changed he has a very high taste yet he's not ready to drop much eventually I gave birth in my parents place according to our tradition his mother was to come take care of me but she refused stylishly then I was forced to move in to his sisters house since she stays there to assist her.  I was always up and doing no rest at all at a point I felt I was the maid. I was losing weight rapidly no rest nor enuf sleep yet his mother will always look for flimsy excuses not to bath my baby at night will be forced to mop his body myself did not tell my parents don't want them interfering....the mother will told me to go and sleep when ppl are around yet give me series of chores to do b4 or after I wake up ....i was forced to tell my husband I needed a change of environment cos I was not just myself he accepted reluctantly we went to the east together till it was almost time for me to resume. When I saw he was still not taking the house ish serious a house was gotten for us by an agent not what I liked but I felt it's within our budget he said he can't afford it still.... it was almost time for me to resume I contributed more than half of the rent and asked him to add d bal which I went ahead to pay for he said the house was OK that I should go ahead and pay for it after some time he took his family members and he was about changing his mind about the house so I quickly pay to trap him cos my maternity leave was almost over. He said he won't stay in the hose with me....etc lot of stories and threat from him but he moved down to lag with me since it does not make sense paying double rent esp when he does not have a stable job he's doing over there. Before he left I observed he's always sending porn msg to his neighbour. The gave themselves pet names but I just ignored another thing I observed was a particular lady was always calling him to give her money for her baby so I made sure we moved to logos and I did not confront him either The house we are staying the water was not good gave him money to fix it cos I'm sure he will get a good deal for me but he did not do it we had a slight argument then I told him to fix the water b4 I knew it he moved out of the hose dropping all the things I gave to him including his wedding rings (our marriage is just a yr) did not beg or apologise after sometime I called his dad to tell him after a week that his son has moved out of the house instead of him giving me words of encouragements or calling his son to speak sense into him....he told me he's spoken to his mother about it and warned me never to tell anyone what's happening not even my parents then I know something is fishing...this continued wen it was 2 weeks after I asked his son what I did wrong all he could tell me was I don't cook early, I don't sweep and probably mop daily, I've turned him to errand boy cos I usually drop few change and I didn't learn how to drive he asked me to be driving his mothers car but I felt it was not right....but those were my punishments he moved bk in but I told him I'm fed up of the marriage but he refused and came bk in....Will greet him will not ans, he won't tell me his whereabouts, sometimes when we go visiting his ppl all they see are the faults on the child nothing more and when we both talk jn the house all he sees are the complains and he talks to me as if he is taking to his maid. Pls permit me to stop here if I go on and on ehn u will pity me recently his sis travelled and her house girl was available since no one is at home at first I agreed but later I Tot about it that if things were OK with us it's no big deal but having someone to come nd stay might be washing our dirty linens outside...since I rejected the offer he sends me on stupid errands, leaving the house messy etc Our child was a bit Strong recently all he did was to drop us at d clinic with 5k and asked me to call him when we were thru wen he got bk all I could see was he went to buy a new phone The following week we went for check up and he dropped us off gave me 5 hundred naira that I should call when I finish...didt argue had to leave work on both occasions for this felt stupid that what if I was not working cos the money is never enuf now just 5h put myself together collected it called him when I was through rather he said we should come and meet him in his sisters place....If u see us outside we act like perfect couple but with I'm suffering and smiling b4 I don't ask for money for soup or anything from him I do all of that but I'm a bit broke at the moment I've bn asking  him so as to make him feel a bit responsible and stop doing Mr nice outside when there's lil or nothing in the house.....rather   he told me I should set my priorities right ‎ that I should be picking BTW buying meat in the house or diapers....alot like I said I can't say it all here.... now whenever we have s*x he comes in me and he won't stand up for another 5 mins I'm currently on pills tho cos can't afford to bear another child for him Please I need your advice on what other family planning methods I could use cos I'm scared the pills can fail .I dont know what to do. I'm fed up of the marriage. 

Comments

  1. Anonymous11/28/2015

    will give you the advice my father gives me regularly even though i am happily married to a responsible man, pls take your job seriously do not play with it. As for your husband, just ignore him, if the marriage isn't meant to be he will leave on his own. focus on your baby and your work and pls for God's sake dont give that man money. and since you dont know where he is half the time, i suggest you tie your legs together and stay off sex

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  2. OMG!!!!!!!! Your situation is so touchy n got me Goss pimple. The thing marriages pass through this days is so pathetic and scary seriously. Mydear the only solution I see here is run straight to God because as it seems yr husband family are /or not supportive of the marriage. I feel your pain and so out of words/advice. Please just run to God even if it's 30days prayers wholeheartedly mbok do it. I don't want to say u made a mistake marrying him bcos u already in. Hv nvr read a touching story /situation as dis. But it's all well. Put yourself together in prayers, there's no situation God cannot change. Take good care of you and your body ( very important). All the best

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous2/18/2017

      It's unfortunate that I just got wind of this story today, I was the man in the eye of the storm, I may have had my own fault but I also think getting a story not so true made the home collapsed. I have since got a lady who counseled me, made effort in getting my shattered self to place and I can boldly say that am a better man now.i never had of most of this allegations till this month and I tell u,the child involved is the one suffering the burnt of the divorce. All suggestions on this blog should but both the defendant, accused and the fruits into perspective.

      Delete
  3. Thanks @anonymous for this advice I accept with u. @poster seal your legs and do your sef good by taking your job very serious. Don't give him kobo just as she says. All d best

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  4. Anonymous11/28/2015

    Sure I'm concentrating on my work, child including my looks thanks
    This was someone we used to pray and fast together and we see things happen but now if I ask him to pray all he will say is plus jesus minus devil....shikenna
    Recently my mum told her few days to our wedding that if not that we have picked wedding date we were not supposed to marry
    And we dated for a year before planning to marry o and it's not as if I don't go visiting o.....

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous11/28/2015

      I meant recently my mum told me that his mum called her that's if not that wedding day has been fixed we were not supposed to get married...

      Delete
  5. Anonymous11/28/2015

    Tried sealing my legs but whenever he Is in the mood he don't mind raping me....after dragging for a while I just give up and let him be I stay like a wood till he finish....

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  6. Anonymous11/28/2015

    A relative of mine died yesterday all he asked was what happened no sorry or whatsoever he didt call my mum or anyone to sympathise with her rather it was my mum that even called and request.....hes just acting immature and outside omg u will die of jealousy and be praying u want to be in my shoes

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  7. Imagine something is seriously wrong with him. He needs deliverance haba. I sympathize with u on ur loss. Be strong. D way it's all seems dts marriage wasn't meant to be, if u found out even days to wedding u can still call it off. A broken rshp is better than a broken marriage. But all dsame stay glue to ur pills mbok and keep praying let's see what God ll do. U don't even need him to say ur prayers. Do ur thing and take care of ur baby. Remember don't give him penny ooo n hide ur bank details. Our prayers ll go with u. Cheers

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  8. Anonymous11/28/2015

    All have advised rightly. For the FP method, try the hand implant, that's what I am using, my baby ll be 3 in January. However, plz note that what works for me might not work 4 u. Wish u all the best n I sincerely pray that God intervenes. Hugs

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  9. Note. Always look happy, make calls at home, gist with friends even if it's means pretending to be happy where he is, do it. Make him feel jealous

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  10. Imagine something is seriously wrong with him. He needs deliverance haba. I sympathize with u on ur loss. Be strong. D way it's all seems dts marriage wasn't meant to be, if u found out even days to wedding u can still call it off. A broken rshp is better than a broken marriage. But all dsame stay glue to ur pills mbok and keep praying let's see what God ll do. U don't even need him to say ur prayers. Do ur thing and take care of ur baby. Remember don't give him penny ooo n hide ur bank details. Our prayers ll go with u. Cheers

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  11. Anonymous11/29/2015

    Hmm mm it's well

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  12. Good evening Aunty Eya!pls pass my message to the concerned lady.her husband might be wicked enough to know he has a disease and be trying to pass it to her,it might not stop at just trying to get her pregnant! I have a close relative whose husband had HIV for years, was on medication and never told her,while he kept sleeping wit her!he was even hiding the drugs unta day God exposed him! It's a wicked world we live in,make she shine her eye o!!she is not living for just her but for her Child too!!she should get tested n do everything to protect herself,she can seek advice form dis NGOS for women n domestic abuse n legal advice too!!Not even a husband has the right to rape his wife!My heartfelt sympathy and prayers goes to her

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