RELATED STORIES

I Learnt Blow Job From My Husband's Side Chicken, Now He Won't Respond Plus He Moved Out When My Insults Became Too Much, How Do I Bring Him Back Home?

HELP ME SAVE MY MARRIAGE.
God bless you and your family Aunty Eya, I have learnt
so many things from your blog since 2012. Please help me save my marriage my hot temper and the fillings of insecurity is killing my marriage and I don’t know how to restore peace and love. We have been married for Seven years with a six years old handsome and intelligent boy, I honestly love my husband despite his short comings but sometimes I feel insecure because I have not been able to give him more children .

 I get angry and react to little things even though  he does same but as a woman I know am supposed to be patient.
We recently moved into our new and beautiful home and all I prayed for was for us to live in peace so that God will continue to bless us but trouble started when I became a full house wife and I will have to ask him for money to take care of my needs (he is working towards setting up a business for me). My husband is a very generous man but he finds it difficult to give me kobo to take care of my personal needs but he makes sure we don’t starve. 
Not giving me money was not an issue when I was working, but since the project I worked with came to a close, salary stopped coming and I get angry whenever I ask him for money and he turns my request down, he does not fuel my car ( bought it with my money) and right now I can’t take the car for service because I am broke.
DH is not romantic, most times I feel he does not love me because he doesn’t compliment my looks even though he goes out very early and comes home late (he does not know if I make up or not), no gifts from him or any form of family outing yet I choose to be happy (I use to buy him gift but I have since stopped). 

 I am still Trying To conceive (TTC) after several fertility treatment (am 30years old) so I always try to initiate sex during my suspected ovulation period which most times he avoids except I tell him why I want him before he will agree to sleep with me (not love making).  Last week I tried to do same without letting him know why I wanted him, I tried to be romantic but in spite of all my effort, the kisses, blo job and all that, Aunty Eya you will not believe my DH did not respond he kept telling me he wants to rest, I got angry and left him with the hope that he will get rest and come for me before day break but he did not. 

The following day I tried talking to him about it but he refused to listen to me so I became very upset with him. He did not care to ask me why I was misbehaving instead he pretended as if everything were okay. Aunty Eya  I think he is seeing someone outside because sometimes in 2013 I snooped at his phone and I was shocked at what I saw, several girls sending nude pictures and a particular one with a girl giving him blo job (that was how I learnt blow job oh! to keep my marriage), we quarreled over it and he apologized after family’s intervention, I forgave him and made up my mind never to snoop again.

The problem now is, as a result of his recent attitude towards me i'm  still very angry and I insulted the hell out of him, I called him all sort of names and I went ahead to send him abusive text messages. He reported me to every members of my family with evidence (he recorded my voice when I was at it) and now my family are disappointed in me, this is because my family knows him well and they always advise me to be peaceful, patient and persevere, that good things come to those who are always patient today/but most times I disappointed them. 

My darling husband has never raised his hands to beat me in our seven years of marriage and he hates to sleep outside our home except he travels out of town but now he has stopped coming home and he kept telling the people he reports me to that I said I want divorce and he is ready for it (I said it out of annoyance, I don’t want divorce, I hate divorce). 
I want my husband back, I don’t know how to go about it because am so ashamed of myself after all the hurtful words I used on him, I still love him and I believe we can work things out, I honestly do not like the way I insult my husband most times, I want to respect him no matter what but anger will not allow me.

Please help me, post this on your blog if you like(As anonymous please), but I need your honest and urgent advice. I hate divorce and I know you do.

Comments

  1. Your husband is tired of the insults and may not me back on his own o.You need to a fast before it's too late to save things. Look for him everywhere, I'd you think you know where he might be, go there. His friend might be of help now. Act now but I don't think you should go to his office. Meet him at the hotel or wherever he is lodging. Even if it means crying like a baby, do it o. Keep temper at home before you leave cos if you go and get angry while apologizing, then you are on your own.
    Other issues will be trashed after, for now, find him and convinced him you have learnt your lesson and are a changed wife.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Don't try to justify the insults. Maybe you send him sincerely apologetic text messages just the way you sent the insults. Even if he doesn't reply, he'll read everything. Insecurity is a bad thing. When a man is truly exhausted, not even a blow job from a pro can get him up. When the body is tired, it's tired. The last incident, you expected him to be ok by morning but I can tell you from experience that there's a level of exhaustion you get to? One night of sleep is not even enough to restore strength. I know what it means to be stress paralysed. You are at home and refreshed the whole day. He is going through a lot out there. About the stinginess, 2 hen you are not happy with someone, you won't want to spend your hard earned dime in them. I pray your temper and insults have not made him to begin to resent you inwardly.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Inability to have another child may not be the issue here. It could be you are his problem. your character, your temper, your words. Just staying at home all day is not even helping your temper.
      Bring your husband back please. Write him text messages from your heart and go look for him. You two will sort things out eventually.
      All the best

      Delete
  3. Stephan11/26/2015

    Talk to people you know he will listen to, also ur church pastor but make sure is a spirit filled man of God with great wisdom,don't try to justify urself for ur behaviors but beg for forgiveness when both of u are invited for settlement and remember not to reenact the situation again whatever ur husband accuse u for just say am sorry n tell people present to beg him on our behalf. Commit the rest to God in prayer

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hello Poster, i totally agree with Stephan and aunty Eya.
    Once you get your husband back please and please TAME your tongue. I believe you may be frustrated about not conceiving and you are taking it out on your husband. No man wants to come home with a nagging wife after a lobg day of hard work.
    Always treat your husband like you are still on your honeymoon. Try waking up to prepare breakfast and walk him to his car, sent him a message at work everyday to check on him and make a quick call to him as well. You might think he doesnt notice you when he comes back from work but when a man wants to make love tiredness will not be an excuse. If your husband does not love you he won't have any plans to start up a business for you. From the household upkeep he gives you, try to be saving a little from it until yoyr businness falls into place and so you do not always have to ask him for money.
    Sometimes we get angry and say things we do not mean but some people can never forget hurtful words. Get occupied with a hobby during the day or something to keep your mind busy. Bring thst closeness and friendship back into your marriage and God will help you to make this happen.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Farinat11/26/2015

    Ask God to touch his mind to forgive u of all wat u have said wrong to him and u have to apologise to him and b remorseful of ur act. Buh den, u ve to work on ur anger seriously

    ReplyDelete
  6. Always see ur husband as ur father,award him d same respect u would ur parents dt will help u tame ur tongue,he is just trying to punish u by leaving home but keep begging and asking people to help u beg him,ask d same people he reported u to I bliv he will listen.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Where is the anger now that he/she put u in this mess? Seek the face of God mbok. Anger is not of GOD. Take their advice and work on it asap. Cheers

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous11/27/2015

    Poster your husband will come back he is just trying to teach you a lesson is all. But you have to watch your tongue. Pick a day maybe a sunday, dress nicely get your hair and nails done then go and look for him and beg him. Anything he says while begging him dont say a word, dont even talk back just keep saying you are sorry even if he insults your parents dont say anything just keep apologising, if you can cry.......cry

    ReplyDelete
  9. Thank you so much for your advice, i have done what you and other bv's advised.
    His friends were not willing to tell me where he was, am sure he ask them not to tell me so i called his office and i was told he traveled on an officer trip. The city where he went happens to be my anty's location so he visited her last night and told her everything. As expected my Anty was very upset with me when she called me after he left her house. She pleaded on my behalf but ask me to promise her that i will never disrespect my husband again, that if she gets any report again she will cut ties with me. I have promised and i pray God help me this time because I promised my Dad same thing last month and now he has refused to talk to me even though he most have talked with my husband .
    I am expecting Oga back home today and honestly i don't know how am going to face him. I shared blog link with him and i have also choose a special meal from your blog to prepare for him.
    May God help me, we most and will live in peace by the Grace of God almighty.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anonymous11/27/2015

    We must and we will live in peace by HIS grace. Thank u blog visitors for your excellent advice, May God bless you all. DH is back, I cryed afd apologized

    ReplyDelete
  11. Anonymous11/27/2015

    And yes, he accepted my apologies with kisses. Am so happy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm so happy for you Poster.
      Please don't let the devil come between you two, stay sweet, respectful and submissive, yes, almost obedient (!) to him. I put that exclamation mark because a lot of feminists will object to that but, Sarah called Abraham "Lord"- that just shows us how God intends for us to take and treat our husbands.
      As you do, he will begin to treat you like the queen you are.
      Do not stop praying too.
      X

      Delete

Post a Comment

Click on the pictures to make them bigger.
Feel free to email us with comments, suggestions, recipe ideas, or pretty much anything!
Contact Email: cuulme@gmail.com

Most comments are by other blog readers. Always seek Professional Help First.
“As an Amazon Associate I earn a little commission when you shop from links placed on this blog.”

SHARE THIS POST

RELATED

SHOP HERE