My Husband Betrayed His Friend, What Can I Do?


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Hello Aunty Eya, pls I need your advice. pls help me do d necessary correction before u post this, I schooled in the village ,so my English is bad. Back to the story.

 I caught my hubby 5 years ago cheating on me, I was devastated because I trusted this man with my whole heart. The lady was his friend's fiancee, I found it very difficult to believe, never knew this can happen to a very close friend talk more of my hubby. we fought, fought and fought but with d help of his mother, we settled everything. He cut every tie with d lady but I never knew he went so deep to d level in which his friend got to know about it. 

Few months ago, something was telling me to check his phone that something is going on, I checked, I saw this lady's love text messages, begging him to let them continue, that she still loves him, hubby ignored but later started replying. He told her that he's broke now that she should give him more time that he will treat her like a queen.

 I was wondering may be this lady has not yet married. so I got his fiance phone number,i.e.
 my hubby's friend, I chatted with him on whatsapp, he downloaded everything for me,how he broke up with the girl because of the affair she had with my hubby , he's happily married now. This lady is 33yrs now not yet married . 
I confronted my husband, he apologized and promised never to do that again, but since then I ve a bitter mind towards  him, anytime I remember it, I feel like vomiting, very disgusting, I never believed my husband can do that, i thought this can only happen in movies. He was gentle and nice,also a devoted Christian, he called me few days ago that I've not forgiven him, yes, I find it very difficult to forgive him.

pls I need advice on what to do, because I hate him now not because he cheated but because he betrayed his friend. Though not really a close friend but, he knew him through another friend. I feel like going away from him. please what can I do?
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Comments

  1. Hey honey. I know it's easier said than done, but I think you should let go. There's just no use holding on to what happened in the past, especially since he's asked for your forgiveness.
    Your prayers right now should be that your husband won't succumb to the other woman. And your hatred might be pushing him towards that. If you love your marriage and want to stay married, id advise you forgive him and love him. Pray that God put your husband's love back into your heart.

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  2. Anonymous7/08/2015

    My dear, men are so crew, they are treating us women especially those that love them with all their heart like trash, hmmmm my story is like urs but now I hate him still leaving with him cos of the kids, now he has made me fall in love with someone else cos of his nonchalant attitude towards sex to me, we live together, sleep on the same bed but I feel nothing for him again absolutely nothing and when ever we have sex I only enjoy it when I think of the other single guy but the problem now is I don't really want to break the vows I made in front of God but this man is making me go crazy and the other one am in love with don't know I love him and I don't think he will love me cos he is a devoted Christian.

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous7/08/2015

      What are you going on about biko?
      Trying to justify your loose morals eh kwa?
      As a woman, you are called to higher standards to a man- the bible tells us this.
      You are a woman- a vessel of life- your children should see you as a beacon- and you're here talking you shook chicken, chick fly- what are you on about?
      So if your husband sleeps around, you will begin to sleep around too to "feel loved"?
      Can you not make do with the love of and for your kids and, if you must cheat, leave him?
      Do not debase yourself and do not let one randy man make you do sth that will eternally make you hate yourself.
      ".... the one I love doesn't know I love him, the single one loves me...."- married woman?!
      Tufia!

      Delete
    2. Anonymous7/08/2015

      @Anon 17:33, why the judgements? Some of you act like you don't know how life is or the struggles humans beings go through everyday physically, spiritually and emotionally. Just because your failing is not the same as someone else's does not mean you are greater, if the light was to shine into your closet I am sure there are some skeletons in there that you would be ashamed for others to find. Come from a place of love in everything and be compassionate towards all humans in their failings especially when you have not walked a mile in their shoes.

      @anon 13:44, Sometimes the well runs dry, sometimes the riverbed runs dry, even love can run dry if it not fed and nurtured. We live in a world where things need constant nurturing and maintenance for them to operate as they should, such is the nature of the physical world as well as the spiritual. Your husband and yourself through your lack of maintenance of your love and attention to each other have caused your marriage to be in a deep drought. But no drought lasts forever, one day the rain will fall again, and one day the days of dryness become a distance memory. Why not start making a conscious effort to reconnect with your husband, do date nights again, go away for short weekend getaways? take the moment to start talking TO each other and not AT each other, take the moment to start having FUN together again. Now, I know some Christian ppl think the fun has to come out of life for them to serve God, but God is fun and funny, God loves pretty things, and God loves a happy family who can have fun together, don't throw out good, clean fun, just to say you are a pious Christian. You will not see immediate results when you start making these changes, maybe your husband even shove off your attempts, but stick to it and you will start seeing a change, most importantly start praying for your marriage and start praying for a more loving and affectionate heart in your husband. Also pray for sinful desires to depart from you and that what is good and wholesome in deeds and thoughts will find you.

      Do not cheat, I have lived long enough to know that sometimes when things are just about to go good that is when we make the wrong move and mess up any chance of an improvement. DO nothing that will ever place your character into question or bring you low in the eyes of your children and community. Shame is hard to live with, and a bad reputation even harder. Do good always, even when it is the hardest thing to do, you still have to look at yourself in the mirror everyday so make sure you are happy with what is staring back at you.

      Delete
    3. Anonymous7/09/2015

      1,000,000,000 likes lol....

      Delete
    4. @ Anon 23:27, you are great and blessed.

      Delete
  3. Anon 23:27 you have said it all.
    Poster forgive your husband and re kindle the love

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  4. Nigerian woman can take crap in the name of forgiveness. Honey two times is not a mistake he will do it again. If u wanna stay for the kids fine but don't worry your self trying to change him.my own husband is addicted to porn and I have tried all I can to help him but nothing happened. He said all men watch porn dome hide and do it

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  5. Anonymous7/10/2015

    To anon 23:27, I'm anon 13:44, I don't know who you are but who so ever u are may the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob bless, favour, guide and protect u all the days of ur life may u continue to be an angel to those in need of an angel, may u be a blessing to those that are coursed, may u always be happy all the days of ur life IJN. Your words really changed my life thank u so so much, remain blessed 4ever.

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  6. Anon 23.27 I read your advice and I have a great deal of respect for you. I can easily conclude that you are a wise person. I sense that you have gained a lot of that wisdom from experience/age. I just wanted to thank you for sharing some of that wisdom with us in the most endearing/ non judgemental /Loving way. May the Lord continue to bless you. Keep inspiring.

    ReplyDelete

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