Depressed About This Pregnancy Result, I Regret Ultrasound

Aunty Eya thanks for all the work u re doing.  I'm depressed Please help! I'm married with 2 beautiful girls, I love them so much and their daddy too! We agreed to have 3 kids, after my 2nd baby (4yrs), I started researching on how to conceive a boy. I took in early this year(18weeks +4) went for an ultrasound on Saturday and the Doctor. told me I'm expecting a girl and the baby is healthy.

 I was shocked from the clinic because all the symptoms I have
were totally different from my previous pregnancy and I had sex on the day of ovulation.  I've not told my hubby about the scan, dunno how he will feel. I feel I might never be able to have a son. Everyone around me is  saying that this one is definitely a boy. I already have an image of a boy in my mind. I'm so withdrawn after the scan. I regret doing the scan. Grieving as if I lost someone.


Comments

  1. There's nothing you can do now than encourage yourself and be grateful for the blessing that you have received. Imagine if you haven't had any kids yet, your prayer and desperation would have been completely different. What if there was no pregnancy after all these years and you got the news that you are infertile? What would you have done. Depression can raise your Blood pressure and you know that's deadly.
    In everything, let's look for reasons to give thanks. Please do things that can lift up your spirit because the baby feels what you feel. Ok, to let you know that you are not the only mother feeling this way so you see that it's common, I'll try and briefly share my story with you.

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    1. Iknow how you feel. Can relate to those emotions. After my third girl, I remember sending prayer requests to other mothers to pray for me because my daughters needed a brother, I needed to experience carrying a son and even my husband though never complained, I felt he needed a man like him in the house. We loved the girls dearly even then, but I felt like there was a little void. When I see mothers taking babies for circumcision, I feel envy, like how did they do it. Now, I know that almost every woman is like that ...How do I know?The mails I keep getting after birthing my last baby. Mothers begging me to reveal the secret to them, asking for tips and even asking if artificial insemination was involved.Women!!! It's in our nature I guess. Then again, my girls especially the second, she kept asking why we don't want her to experience having a brother and my explanations that only God can do that for her, never penetrated because she didn't get tired of asking me and their father. At a point, I asked them if we should adopt a baby boy, she agreed but, all the others including their father rejected it that they are fine the way they are. I went online to look at cute babies up for adoption, though not in Nigeria, he still wouldn't even look at the pics that he does not want us to adopt because the family was already large and he is fine with his girls. I bought a book on adoption stories, he refused to read.

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    2. Like you feel now, I felt like I haven't really experienced it all and remember lying flat on the altar during one Shiloh to ask God for a son, after the Shiloh, I found out was already pregnant, had all the faith I could summon, believed God to change the sex in the womb if it's another girl, prayed in thanksgiving and behold a girl appeared in the delivery room. That was my fourth girl and I actually said something like "so, God didn't answer my prayer?" and the midwife had to report me to my husband who just laughed at me for feeling that way. That girl became my closest girl, the only one that took some of my features, so connected to me I couldn't go a day without her.You know, it's after this last baby, even though we never planned on having five. In the beginning, we agreed on just two and I honestly take responsibility for the increment, I'm sorry. So, I started to think that maybe it's not God's will for us to have a son. Now, I know that God answered my prayer then at that altar and sent the package but it delayed a bit and arrived a few years later.

      Whatever, however you feel, do not hate on the baby. Tell your husband everything. We cannot create any sex. You are looking for a particular sex and do not know that some other mothers are there asking God for any sex. Have your baby with thanksgiving to the giver of children. Also know that feeling that way doesn't make you a bad mother.

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    3. You and your husband should not treat the baby any less. Love him/her and, since you feel this way, if you plan on having more kids, we'll continue to pray about it.If your family can adopt, fine.

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    4. I forgot to add that I read all the Chinese gender selection sites then, my neighbor thought I wasn't getting it right and lectured me on how to calculate, she selected all the blue months for me yet nothing worked. If only God will open our eyes to only ask for good children because that is what we really needneed.

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  2. God is the Master Planner. When I had my 2 girls, we went for a naming ceremony of my schoolmate who just had a boy after 3 girls. As usual we surrounded her and started asking her the secret, there were many of us with only girls. I took out my notepad and started writing and calculating every detail she mentioned, all the dos and donts,diets and all..... There was an older schoolmate who was also observing us from far, she had bn married for 9yrs then and still expecting, she laughed at us and said "una even see at all and una still dey chose, I marry b4 all of una if God give me these beautiful girls like yours will I ask for more?". I dropped my pen as those words penetrated my marrow. I remembered an older aunt who also was still looking up to God and has bn showering plenty love on my kids with prayers daily and I started praying for all who needed children. My prayer point changed totally everyday I say God thank you for these wonderful girls pls give to those who need. I got pregnant the third time without minding the sex,I carried the pregnancy with thanksgiving and delivered the same day (30th May) with my friend who has bn expecting. I had a boy while she has a girl. Many friends still didn't believe I never used the diet but I know dt it is GOD. Trust in God even if its still a girl be thankful. Those girls are our future queens

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  3. Dear Poster,
    Children are gifts from God. I do not believe in checking the baby's gender before he/she is born because I would love to be surprised. Even if you are given a girl, remember that God only knows why He decided to give you the girl-child. We as humans want what we want, we forget that God has bigger plans for us. If only we trust Him completely and let Him guide us. Remember that a lot of couples are looking for one child, and they don't care about the sex, they just want one. Count your blessings and name them one by one.

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  4. Thank your God that you even have children and can conceive at will. Think of those that do not have any and have been looking for any sex for years. Dont make mockery of families grieving to have babies at all cause.

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  5. Anonymous7/07/2015

    There is nothing to be depressed about. Every child comes out of the expression of love that you and your husband share. Enjoy your daughters they will be there for you in your old age. My grandma has 6 sons and 4 daughters and now that she is old and have Alzheimer's it's her daughters who are doing everything for her. Sons marry, go away and cleave to their wives, a daughter is a lifelong gift to her mother! Rejoice in the blessing of another daughter growing inside of you.

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  6. Anonymous7/08/2015

    I know a girl that married a virgin 8yrs ongoing now.not even a miscarriage.now shes 32.i also know of a woman that conceives even triplet n the babies keep slipping through miscarriages.she married in 2006,.up until now.my huaband was diagnosed with low sperm count straight two years.we just got pregnant n we are expecting a girl.i cudbt be more grateful for this priviledge to go tru pregnancy atall likewise my husband.please be happy.some people need just one child to keep their marriage going and are stil waiting for that one healthy child.

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  7. Hi everyone.
    @poster....I have a question got you. What if the ultrasound revealed you were having a male UNHEALTHY baby? Would you be happy or would your story be different from what you just shared with us?
    I delivered few weeks ago. I have a girl and I'm super thrilled. Husband and everyone is thrilled. Children are a gift from God. A perfect gift irrespective of the sex. See it is only God that can determine the sex of a child. If u like try all the methods in the world. Before I conceived I told God I wanted a female child and he blessed me with one. I look at my daughter and I can't help but thank God eachday because she is MY PERFECT GIFT and I wouldn't trade her for anything in the world. Boy or girl all na pikin. You have 2girls already so what. Like someone told me after I delivered....she said ha big brideprice tins(well thats to make you laugh).
    I think as long as your baby is healthy na that one be koko.
    A scripture just came to mindmind Luke 16:10. In your case if God can trust you with female children trust him enough to bless you with a mqle child (children)
    I wish you the very best.
    Aunty Eya......like always please keep up the good work and thanks for sharing you own story.

    Regards

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  8. Hello Poster, I know where you are coming from, i have been there myself. when i was pregnant with my 3rd child there is no insult my husband didn't give me cos he did not want another girl. i kept the pregnancy not becos of anything but it was just God. I was miserable and bitter, i even made up my mind that i will not allow the child bear my husband's name. When i knew the sex of the baby i cried so much because of God's faithfulness that everyone who saw me weeping, colleagues and all thought it was a girl. but God blessed me with a boy. that aside; My point is this: God will only give you kids you need. My friend from university and chief bridesmaid is the 6th child out of 9. their 1st to 4th are girls, the 5th a boy then her and 2 more girls and a boy last. In our school days she always told me that when people were laughing at her Dad for producing girls, they never knew God was using it to bless him.
    they are all graduates in their house today, not because their father could sponsor them but because her elder sisters husbands took it upon themselves to train one each. they didn't necessarily have to go and serve their sisters in their husbands houses. No! they were in their father's house. Today their Dad is happily retired living in his house built by his kids. A family friend had 8 boys and a girl, today only the girl struggles to take care of them and is the only graduate, the boys instead steal his things to sell. Moral; Trust God in all things, he knows best, he will give you what is best. Ask and leave the rest to him. For all our sisters trusting God for fruit of the womb, pls trust him alone, he is the God that makes all impossibilities POSSIBLE. You all will carry your children in Jesus name. Amen

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  9. Anonymous7/09/2015

    Hmmmm, this world we live in eeeeeh, women are treated badly to the extent we don't have respect for our self's again, poster pls be calm don't give ur self much headache, I hv 3 kids a boy and 2 girls my sister when I was pregnant with my only son they is nothing my husband didn't do for me to abort the baby, it was only God that saved me and now after having a son he is still complaining that I should make sure the next one is a boy cos he only want 2 boys and a girl but look what I have course.

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  10. Anonymous4/23/2016

    Same situation here for me with two daughters and wanting to sway for the next but my husband wont hear of a third because he only wanted two and he definitely does not want a third daughter.

    I want to give him some time before I do Aunty Eya's style, lol. Aunty, your husband also wanted two and you have five now! What was usually his reaction when you announced a new pregnancy? I feel mine wont want me to keep a pregnancy if any enters oh. He so insists that he is done with kids!

    I dunno why we women cannot be satisfied with what we have; maybe the fear of the future? Pls if you cant reply this post on the blog kindly answer my questions at nitaebony@yahoo.com.

    Thanks.

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    1. He kept reminding me that we agreed on two and that our family is getting to the size of two families in one. The fourth pregnancy, even though I said that I didn't know I was pregnant he still won't talk about it until I was 7 months gone ohh, then one day he asked if I wasn't going to start attending ante natals. Why won't we get to 5 when he won't let me go for family planning, kept insisting that they all have side effects and here is where natural arrangement landed us.

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  11. Anonymous4/25/2016

    Lol. I see. Hubby says no FP for me too but i want to do oh, before we will reach five too. Lol, leť me too rest small.

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