Family Still Rejects My Husband After Four Kids, How Do I Handle This?

This is a WhatsApp conversation I promised to publish today. What would make a mother still reject her son in law and dear daughter after ten years of marriage? Can a woman's tender care cease towards the child she bears? Ok, her daughter got married to her former labourer, what about the grand children? Did they do any wrong? When are these kids going to bond with and begin to love grandma?  Is it after she is old and gone? We have just this life, a few years and your role is complete and kinda deleted from this screen. Why accept to spend it in bitterness and hate? Why spend these few years in misery with every tick of the clock, we all move closer our graves , why not do our best to spend these years in happiness and peace.  If you have a hundred years to spend on this earth, you allow yourself to spend all the"now" in anger and bitterness, you spend the few years you have seen in unforgiveness, on which planet are you then going to experience happiness.

Look,  let me tell you,  if you think it doesn't matter because there is happiness in heaven. What makes you think you can be happy in heaven after spending your earth "currency" in pain and losses. If you don't practice happiness, peace and joy here. How then can you live it up there except you'll be an alien.

 I shared my thoughts with the poster but do not think that's enough. Please advise her too on how to handle the situation.

The conversation below:

[20:34, 20/06/2015] Blog Reeda: I want to share my problem with .
[20:40, 20/06/2015] Blog Reeda: I come from a well to do family, i am the only daughter with three brothers. I happen to fall inlove with a man who worked as a labourer on my mum's site years ago, infact it was love at first site, we love each other so much we decided to damn the consequences. Today we have 4kids. Two boys and two girls. Yet mummy is still not ready to accept him. Its been over 10years now

[20:41, 20/06/2015] Blog Reeda: I don't know what to do ma
[20:41, 20/06/2015] Blog Reeda: I am fed up.

[11:38, 21/06/2015] Eya Ayambem: Forgive her,  it's natural for her to feel disappointed. You fell in love but she didn't. This class thing is all over the world and will always be there.  She'll eventually come around. She misses you a lot but anger and pride won't let her admit it.  I guess you thought about it all but damned the consequences,  so that's it. God will touch her but you don't go into a fight .continue to love and respect your husband and maybe give it a little more time ok. People handle disappointment differently
Don't be fed up.
I'll post tomorrow.
[11:45, 21/06/2015] Blog Reeda: Thanks so much ma
[11:45, 21/06/2015] Blog Reeda: I so appreciate this. 


  1. Anonymous6/22/2015

    Hmm is a tough one, just pray GOD touches her heart cos some mothers eeee, when they desired to do u something, they are always mean.

  2. As people, we often choose the love we think we deserve. It is difficult for her to imagine her daughter with someone she didn't think much of, let alone have kids for him. I don't suppose this is the right notion to hold on to. But as you have clearly stated, it is a reality that has hit hard.

    Instead of hoping she turns her feelings around (for the better), why not ensure that she inevitably sees that you are comfortable and happy where you are.

    Like it or not....people are much more convinced when they are left to see it for themselves as opposed being cajoled in some way.

  3. What does the guy do now, out of curiosity?
    I'm only asking cos I'm trying to understand what about the man her mother loathes so much.
    What were the circumstances of him working as a labourer?
    Did she meet an ambitious young man with some education perhaps who, in the wake of lack of employment, decided to take on any work rather than stay idle? Or he was a labourer with little or no education?
    There isn't any issue in both scenarios but I think that if the former were the case, she can appeal to her mum's sense of survival, she can argue that her husband is no loafer but a man who was willing to start anywhere no matter how lowly.

    Even the former scenario shouldn't be an issue esp if the man is at a better place in his life now but I figure her mum might simply just find it hard to erase the fact that the "help" had been screwing her own daughter behind her back, so much so that they had the effrontery to even get married.

    Well, all I can really say is that she forgive her mum and keep praying that she come round some day ( I'm assuming she's tried to reach out to her to no avail) but in the meantime, enjoy your family and face your life and the consequences of your choice.
    I don't mean that in a bad way at all- I'm sure your mum expressed her disapproval at the onset but you didn't heed cos you'd made a choice so, in all honesty, stick with your choice dear and pray to God to change her heart.
    All the best.

  4. Anonymous6/24/2015

    OP the truth is that your mother may never accept him. Pls accept that and move on but still perform your duties as a daughter to her. My parents have been together for almost 30 years, my father is now a wealthy man, her parents have still not accepted him

  5. Anonymous7/31/2015

    Abeg make the mama go sempe. Tough! I would like to know wot the guy does now out of curiosity like prev person said. My father in law doesn't care about me or his first grandchild. Bear in mind I try my best to b friendly and gd fo him but he still couldn't careless... Now, tough... His loss not mine. Shior. He's the one missing out on grandchild not me


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