The Curse Of The Married Man: The Awakening (Part1)

The only thing more frustrating than not having available men come to you is having married men come for you. They come in drones. I mean the married ones. The happily married ones, the ones with troubled marriages, the ones looking for adventure, the this, the that, even pastors too. At a point, I was beginning to wonder if I'm not under a certain spell, you know , the type where what you desire doesn't come, where what comes is not what you want. Abi, what do they see in me? Am I the only one? 

And they do it so well, sometimes I'm tempted to give in. You know, to say yes to them and collect more money.
I must however confess to having collected stuff from some of them tho. They just won't let me be, even after outrightly telling them I'm not interested and all, they still come back, insisting and all... baring and displaying all forms of gifts and cash. 
The gift giving types and the money dashing ones make resisting difficult alot. Especially when you're a single and available and living alone. 
Personally, I'd like to give kudos to myself for my strong will and my staying power. Left to some other girls, they would have long since been swayed. I actually know a whole lot of girls who are into this thing. But then, a lot of things keep me from falling.

 As I lay on my bed last night, after receiving a call from another hunting married man ( I guess he was even calling from home, his wife must have been asleep beside him). See, married men have issues abeg.
I thought. I thought deep. I thought far. 
I wondered. I asked questions.
Why do married men still hunt?
What do I have that their wives don't? 
Why is it a common thing amongst them? 
Will I experience the same thing from my husband when I eventually get married?
When will it stop?

To my questions, I couldn't come up with reasonable answers. 
I guess it's in their nature. Abi? 
I recall asking one of my persistent toaster my first question. 

Read his reply:
He said men were not designed to be satisfied by one woman. He said all men get to that stage when they just feel they want to explore,they need to explore. He said the wife he has at home is his responsibility, he already knows, his kids are his duty, he knows,but he still wants to go on this adventurous quest. 
He actually likened it to eating the same kind of soup all the time. He asked me this question in return. 
" can you eat eba with okro soup everyday for ten years without getting tired"? 
I answered No.
Then he asked why.
Cos there are other soups for me to explore. How can I stick to only okro soup when I can have varieties of others.
That was my undoing...
Cos his next response got me speechless.
Then why do women expect us to stick to one tyoe of soup for the rest of our lives when we have other varieties to pick from? Isn't that rather selfish? He asked. 
I was speechless.
I'm still speechless...
He also said it's not just common to married men, it's actually a man thing. He said it's only obvious in married men because by the time the thirst comes, he's already married. And being married doesn't stop the desire for another, being married won't stop them from hunting. Infact, being married increases the huger, cos by then they are already getting tired of the same kind of soup.He accused bachelor's of being guilty of the same crime, saying the reason women don't notice is because those men are still single. Even at that, he continued, their girlfriends or finace would always notice. Its a man thing to always want more. More of money, more of power, more of control, more of influence, more of...

Altho, he admitted some men can be more brazen and past caring in their approach, by doing it to the knowing of their wife. He said a whole lot of married men engage in it without arousing their wife suspicion. He also said a lot of wives would be shocked to discover that their trusted husband actually have side seriously, side chick's or mistress or babe or bae... 
 # I sighed deeply.
He said so many other things that were quite revealing... it's going to be our topic for discuss over the next few weeks... 
I'm going to share the other things he said.
I'm going to also share the solution this my persistent toaster proffered.

I will also be sharing the three top things that made me keep saying no way to them.
Finally, im going to also share what I feel married women should do to safeguard themselves. Note that I said safeguard yourselves, I didn't say to prevent it from happening o. Cos like it or not, it's rampant. As much as I hate to say it, I fear it has come to stay. I'd like you to see it as a counsel from a single lady who is in the eye of the storm. I actually see what most of you married folks aren't seeing. 
It's going to be an interesting topic.
Meanwhile, do you agree with what he has said so far?
Do you have anwers to some of my questions? Can you share?
Let's pour out our heart. 
A Lot of women are hurting.
Even those in church o.
Seyifunmi Meg Rickets


  1. Anonymous5/16/2015

    I don't agree @ all. It's a mindset thing. Your mouth and your organ are two different things so the analogy doesn't follow. The owner of d product which is God created only Eve for Adam. People find stupid excuse to justify deir sinful nature. Men have lived with one wife and they didn't die instead dey lived long and prosperous lives while those who indulge in dat get complicated lives financially,health wise, matrimonially. D live of King Solomon is a clear example if what women can do to a man's live. He shud be dere digging his grave.

  2. Anonymous5/16/2015

    I don't agree @ all. It's a mindset thing. Your mouth and your organ are two different things so the analogy doesn't follow. The owner of d product which is God created only Eve for Adam. People find stupid excuse to justify deir sinful nature. Men have lived with one wife and they didn't die instead dey lived long and prosperous lives while those who indulge in dat get complicated lives financially,health wise, matrimonially. D live of King Solomon is a clear example if what women can do to a man's live. He shud be dere digging his grave.

  3. Anonymous5/16/2015

    I anxiously await your posts. Will they come in daily?

  4. Anonymous5/16/2015

    Pls ask the same man that if he thinks it's selfish for women to expect a man to not step outside isn't it selfish for a man to expect a woman to not do the same? What's good for the goose is good for the gander is it not? As long as he wont mind if his wife steps out on him and accepts her apology if he catches her the way he will expect her to accept his then it's fair game. But I'm very sure no man would take it.

  5. I just have one question to say to your very dull male friend,what if his wife hates to eat one soup too?...all men can't be like him

  6. Interesting. Will look forward to your posts on this topic and how to correct this cos like you said it's quite rampant, even pastors. Today it will even amaze you how much of our married women that has joined the wagon of not eating okro soyp alone. Our single ladies today more greedy than in the past? Do they want more of everything that was only available to the married women then? Has the respect for marriage generally dwindled? Yes even thougg women are sleeping around too more today than in the past , the men are higher in number for this crime so what is driving this instituion to fail. Hmmmmmm. When you are done I will want you or the owner of this blog take a look at the part the modern wife is playing to fuel this scenario that our mothers did not do. Then on another page, look at the part the society is playing, e.g sex is everywhere, the way we dress provocatively even to church, our so called musical videos and what is permitted generally today

    1. Thanks Iche. I do not think the modern wife is fueling the man's monstrous appetite in any way. How can she? When she dresses more seductively, cooks better with the help of cookbooks and the Internet, contributes financially, better in the bedroom than our mothers, I can just go on and on.

      Not every married man goes about tasting different pots of soup, however, those who do are much more than the little fraction that's faithful and honest.

      The modern wife in Nigeria does not cry and move back to her parents home because her man has a side chick, no, she stays in her home and tries to find happiness in other places since marriage has failed to provide that hence you see more women committee where the ladies just meet and create their own fun with music and dance, talk about themselves and just hang out away from husbands who hide to take calls or spend the weekend looking into their gadgets and smiling.

      The modern woman is more God fearing and hardly goes astray except for only a few who derive joy from revenge.

      I don't know why the modern Nigerian man is so philandering. Do you even blame him when all he sees around him are soft porn home videos, soft porn music videos, soft porn ads and some money loving female students.
      The modern wife wants to keep her home, she is told to do this, do that and wear that while the man is just there doing whatever gives him pleasure; A man's world...

      The modern Nigerian wife is working even harder.

  7. What she is doing that our mothers didn't do is that she is empowered, has a voice and can stand up for herself. She believes in one man one wife.

    1. Yes Eyam, I quite agree with you on the strength of today's woman. I really want to look at this issue without bias or support to either the man or the woman. Rather I prefer to look at it from the angle of what is fuelling this, why is it more rampant, why our our women joining in, what role are the churches and mosques playing, are they talking about it? Unlike the answer our man gave the poster, I believe married ppl should remain so, with none coming forward to justify infidelity

    2. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    3. Removed in error, so sorry Ichafe

  8. I really don't get the analogy btw women and soups?
    It's the same thing with the test driving the car analogy(having sex before marriage)
    Biko, is a human being now a soup or a car?
    There is a fat difference btw both and they have no correlation to each other at all.
    It's only used as an excuse by men who want to waka anyhow.
    And yes, we can't trust men but I dare say that there are still great men around, those who don't believe in this different soup thing and adhere.
    God bless them

  9. Anonymous5/18/2015

    If only these men could see the spiritual implications of what they are doing. marriage is an oath and as part of that oath you promised to foresake all others, God will hold you accountable and in one way or the other you will pay.


  11. Angel Prince5/21/2015

    To all men.Natural law is still on,weda u are a xtian or not.Wat u sow is wat u must reap.Dnt expect corn when u sow yam.A married man who has daughters that enjoy dating single ladies must surely recieve it back.Is eithr ur daughter grow up to date married men nd die tru dat or dey grew up to be 2nd or 5th wife.Something dat wil hurt u or dat may lead u to ur early grave tru dere married men dating must surely happen.Law of nemesis nd law of karma.Spiritualy also,7700 demons find dere way in2 u as ur releasg weda wit condom or not.Inumerable demons penetrate during unholy lovmaking in2 d man nd d wman.Add it to d ones dat lady,dat man has bn making lov wit.dats y untimely death,stagnancy,sicknesses,disapointmnts,lack of progress,hell awaits such man or wman.Do u know how many millions of bacterias are being tranfered tru mere handshake,talk of kissing etc?Single ladies dating married men,law of karma is real.U wil marry nd anoda woman wil steal ur husband not only dating him bcos law of karma ll make sure dat yours wil b d worst.Dont u know dat in spiritual realm dat man has occupy a space 4ur to b husband?Wives pls do yr best to introduce GOD to our husbands,softly b taken him 2GOD.Make sure u pray 4him always.Ask holyspirit to arrest him,change him to b dedicatd in tins of GOD,lets not b ignorant of d devices of devil bcos somtimes dey dnt know wat dey are doing wen dey are under d influence of demonic characters.Pls do it wit respect nd humility,dont nag or go after dos ladies.Jx go on ur knees nd posses ur possesion.Even there are tools 4d war prayer against a strange wman.Mountain of fire prayers books.It works unless u were among wmen dat were datg married men during ur singlehood.

  12. Anonymous5/29/2015

    Seriously, I am learning a lot in this blog. God bless all women that stick to their husbands for better for worse, God will surely fight for us and we shall hold our peace.


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