Married, Not Happy

Aunty Eya I don't know where to start, I plea anonymity and will appreciate your word of advice via a reply.i met hubby in the university,we were friends for some years before we decided on dating,now we've been married for a little over a year,he married me a virgin.well we don't live in the country and I don't have friends here so basically all my attention is directed at hubby,the thing is that since I got pregnant he gets to complain too frequently about our sex life and my looks and Aunty I must say am trying,hand job and blow job I try to make available since my bump makes penetrative sex uncomfortable,few days ago he said he wanted to go in and I allowed him,the experience left me feeling rapedand I had Sharp back pain but with
all these hubby still gets to be having some romantic conversation with a girl back in our country and he even discusses me and our unborn child with the lady.  (I know I shouldn't snoop around but it's hard).He cares and supports me and says things every wife will like to hear but the phone thing makes me really sad and want to get out of this thing called marriage cos am not one to cheat and not strong enough for any emotional wahala. 


  1. Anonymous1/21/2015

    Tell him how bad he is making u feel with his actions, talk 2 him about ur concerns and fears. . Communicate, communicate and communicate! It matters a lot and pray too. Marriage is not easy jare, dat is why I laugh at anyone dat wants 2 rush into it..

  2. Anonymous1/21/2015

    Sweetie, to remain insane in Marriage, Pls dont snoop around your husband's gadgets. it's tempting but avoid it and uphold him in Prayers while doing your best and he seems a nice dude from your explanation. Im also married and pregnant but good enough we don't stay in same location so u can imagine d sex whenever we meet weekends, try side position or doggy kneeling on the bed or missionary wit raised legs and sometimes i ask the holy spirit to make me enjoy d experience cos dis is my husband and i need to satisfy him. This too shall pass and just have a positive attitude about it. Most couples you see out there looking very happy have their issues but they have learnt how to resolve them and move on with the determination that divorce is not an option. Cheers

  3. Anonymous1/21/2015

    Thanks for your advice anon 11:54. Nice one

  4. hmmm poster. i liked your mail, until i got to d last sentence. u dnt mean it. u dnt wnt to get out of ur marriage. u jst got in, such tots shld flee ur mind pls. marriage is not easy, but an " i wnt to leave" mentality only makes it harder pls. U r pregnant so its hormones talking. talk to ur hubby about ur fears. let him walk tru ur emotions wit u. tell him wht u dnt lyk. he sounds lyk a nice man, he wld do anytin to make u happy. bliv God.

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  5. anonymous 11:54, that is a really good and Godly advice u have sister, dont give up on him, he is ur husband. God has given him to u to have and to hold so dont let the devil tell u otherwise. pray abt it cos we can go to him for any issue in marriage including sex and positions, yes he does. so pls leave an open and loving heart in ur marriage and may the Lord bless u

  6. aunty Eya.

    Good evening.

    Trust your family is doing great.

    Been trying to post a comment on your blog but its bin difficult. Saying I should prove I'm not a robot. Tried typing the provided code but all to no avail.

    My comment:-

    getting a 'comfortable' sexual position while bin pregnant is a lot of work but at the same time you can't refuse to make love to your spouse cos u'r pregnant.


  7. Hi aunty Eya.

    Good evening.

    Trust your family is doing great.

    Been trying to post a comment on your blog but its bin difficult. Saying I should prove I'm not a robot. Tried typing the provided code but all to no avail.

    My comment:-

    getting a 'comfortable' sexual position while bin pregnant is a lot of work but at the same time you can't refuse to make love to your spouse cos u'r pregnant.
    @poster I think you should find a comfortable position. I won't recommend missionary cos of the back pain that could come with it and also cos of your tummy only if your husband can bare his weight on something else oda Dan on u.
    Try bin on top in a sitting position. that accommodates your growing belly. above all you guys should talk about it. communication is key.

    Maybe you could pls help me post it.

    Keep up the good work.


    "I'd rather walk with God in the dark than walk without Him in the light"

  8. Dear poster, I think communication is the most important key you need here. Let your husband know how you feel. I believe with time, things will be alright if you apply the right principle. Pls check

  9. Anonymous1/23/2015

    Dear Poster, Making loving while pregnant is really challenging but not impossible. All you need to do is to be determine to try as best as possible to give it to your husband. I am sure, hes overwhelmed with being a father soon. Also, the first two years of any marriage is crucial as failure to communicate issues tends to put strain in the relationship. So to avoid the tots of leaving d marriage, pls learn to discuss any fears/problems you may be facing. Also, pls just have it at the back of your mind that its a phase and it will pass! Am sure, after you have delivered, his attitude will change positively. Marriage is sweet but at the beginning, it tends to be really rough n tough only the patient ones live to enjoy it later. regards

  10. My dear, I understand perfertly how u feel but just try to be happy the next time u met him,it will be over once u give birth and more sweeter okay! I know it is more easier said than done but atleast they are people who hv gone through that phase in life,#i'm a living witness#

  11. I agree with Alabeke. Communication matas a lot, talk to him, he'll understand ur plight.

  12. Anonymous1/29/2015

    Hello Eya and WC
    please how long can a fried or grilled chicken stay before becoming soggy. im thinking of frying all meat and store in the fridge but dont know how many days it will last. please help out. thanks
    please help with food preservation and storage tips for carieer women. thanks

  13. nuella1/30/2015

    na wa ooh

  14. Johnson1/30/2015

    The challenges I see include:
    1. Non experience with sex for both party. Hubby is not experience and selfish! Greatest pleasure for a man during sex comes from satisfying the wife… Men can be satisfied much easier. There are some good books on sex education that would help. Look for books from Funmi Akingbade. Alternatively, both of you should seek expert advice from a medical practitioner, if necessary.
    2. You need to get busy – look for something to do. At least further your education – add VAT (value) to your life.
    3. Communicate more – talk as friends that you were back then. It’s much easier, especially being outside the country. Good friend don’t get bored being together.
    4. Note that marriage is a one-way street and it is serious work. You are not better turning back or trying to get out – LASMA will arrest you (lol).
    It’s obvious hubby still has some affection for you; and note there a friend you can turn to. He is just a prayer away and He instituted the whole marriage institution. Call on Hime to help you. His name? EMMANUEL.

  15. Anonymous2/01/2015

    Pls pple I'm a 1st mum n my baby is two months old. Pls how long shield continue pressing with hot water? Pls help

  16. Anonymous2/01/2015

    Pls it's should I continue using hot water on d baby's body. Tnx

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