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How Do I Reduce Love For My Cheating Husband?

Hi mam Eya and wc readers,pls my dear people,my head want's to busrt like a bomb cos of what my husband is doing to me,I know he is a reader of this blog but I hv to speak to let him see what others hv to say, my husband was and is the only man that I ever knew,he was my first boyfriend and my first love. 

when I say I love this man eeeh I mean I love him with all my heart,body and soul,I don't even allow men to talk to me when ever I walk on the way cos I promised my self that he will be the only man I know but eeeh I'M regreating giving my heart to him cos I guess he is seeing another girl,as we women will alwalyS peep,I peeped in his phone I immiediatle receive a message,I opened it and it was a single lady asking him how his day went then I check the older messages and boom I saw a message sent to the maga by my beloved hubby calling the morron his love and the girl asking him to call him and he said okay and called her,at night my dear husband will go to one corner and start making calls with the hope that I'm asleep and it ends up being the lady that he calls at night.

...one day, I took the
girl abi ladies number and stored it in my phone but didn't call her,so one bright day like that I called my hubby and ask him who that lady is to him but trust men na he turned the question back to me and asked who I think she is to him,hmmmm my story is too long but I need advice from u guys cos I don't trust him again after he told me he will tell the girl off and that he has deleted her three numbers from his phone but I checked his phone and still finds the number they plus the kind of status the so called girl puts up in her pages (like "is not about being in a relationship,engaged or married that matters but by sleeping at night without thinking if someone is stilling ur lover husband or fiancee from u"),

honestly I'm thinking of hving another man in my life but can't cos of my children but when ever I see him he irritates me. Pls what should I do to erase his thoughts and the love I hv for him from my head cos I can't bear the pain of betrayal and unfaithfulness.

Comments

  1. Hi dear, your mail has just been published. Now, you have seen what you were looking for in his phone and peace has flown out the window. When older wives advise younger ones to let men's phone be, you think they don't know what and why they say so? Only very few men do not cheat, especially in Africa where it is like completely a man's world, men get away with so much that YOU dare not try. You trusted him and that helped you even though you were in the dark about his "social life" What you don't know won't hurt ( btw I am currently reading a book that says "what you don't know might be killing you" )

    He might have been like that all this while but you continued to 'scatter brain' for him because you didn't know ... curiosity kills the cat. Now what are you going to do? Reducing the love? what measuring scale do you use to weigh and reduce love? You will just end up being bitter and hurting yourself even more. It might just be a new fling and the girl is still shacking his brain, that's if it's true o. Snooping like that can kill you before your time while she attends your funeral and then becomes your children's step-mother.

    Now, you need to protect yourself and bare your heart to God who knows how honest and faithful you have been to him. He never fails and true true, whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he reap whether we believe or not.
    Do you have kids? You can divide the love and give them some too, cos before now maybe he took everything. Let God and your children give you happiness and try to prevent any man or woman from causing you HBP and taking charge of your kids afterwards, please. Be strong for you and know also that there are men who marry their wives as virgins and still abandon them later for other women, that's life. Your heart is too precious so guard it.
    Sorry about the long reply.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, for you the straying oga, now it may seem like fun and all but things won't remain the same when you lose your wife's love. By the time you start asking colleagues and friends for advice, her sincere love for you would have long been buried in her stomach. Please address this matter and gain back her trust for your family's good. Your wife is not the type that will even try but I bet you a lot of women cheating on their husbands are not doing so for the fun of it, it's because they are looking for bitter revenge. At the end of the day, they regret, do whatever but the deed has been done. If your wife loves you this much, do not take her for granted please. When a woman deletes, it might never be restored and I bet you won't enjoy that type of fake marriage. Please do what you have to and keep your marriage. Thanks for joining our townhall connection o.

      Delete
    2. Anonymous1/21/2015

      Sorry Eya, I do not agree with your first comment o. For any 'reasonable' woman to snoop on her hubby's phone or gadgets, it means he has given her a reason to do so. If that is the case, the wife needs to get her facts so that she can protect herself. I don't support divorce, but she needs to protect her life for the sake of her children. If he's sleeping around, she needs to know because STDs and STIs are real.

      Delete
  2. Chioma1/12/2015

    Goodmorning ma. More of God's grace to you.pls i need your prayers and help me post this to as anonymous.Pls I will love you all to advice me . There's this lil girl that was brought to my home.instead of being the help she was brought for. She has been a pain
    At first I thought she would change but has continued.she's d cause of 90%of the problems In my home and hubby doesn't want to take her back because she came from his family.and am seen as a wife that doesn't like her in laws because of my refusal to let the girl stay.

    ReplyDelete
  3. How old is the girl that you can't control her?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Dear poster, you don't need to cheat on your hubby because he is cheating on you. You will end up worsening the situation of things in your home. My humble advise: desist from checking hubby's phone and concentrate more on building your home to be what you really want it to be. Also, remember hubby in your daily prayers for God to change him. www.alabekee.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  5. Poster; I am not married but I know it feels for someone you trust to let you down. It hurt really bad. Well I think you can handle it, take a deep breathe with your eyes close. Make a lot of excuses for him to ease your pain and start looking at him without fault,in no time you will see the need to forgive him. Note: if you were not married I would have asked you to dump his sorry ass. Also pray that God should deliver your husband from the strange woman called Delilah. www.superamazingkids.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  6. Sorry poster but we live in a world that lets men do everything and anything then go scotfree all in d name of Africa mentality. Whether u like it or not, d love you have for him can never be the same again even if you forgive him but like Aunt Eya has said divert the love to your kids, and move on with your life.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anonymous2/17/2015

    No apologies poster, when you've got reason to check out your hubby, please do, these men can lead us to early graves when we get too careless and trusting, don't feel bad at all, now you know, just be more careful now for the sakes of your children, just hang in there if you can but if not please take a long walk... its time we let our men folk know, marriage is not the ticket to heaven -

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous4/28/2015

    Anonymous 14:56.........you spoke my mind dear

    How do you cope without peeping into huzzy's phone even if its once in a year.Aunty Eya said forgiveness is healthier for you and she is absolutely correct.
    my joy is that marriage is not a ticket to heaven, so take your decisions wisely if you are financially independent , the better if not, start working towards it.
    my husband is a cheat and i cant stand dat at all cos there are many things to be careful about like STD's, witchcraft attack, ploygamy,so many things are involved.My dear God is with us and He has given us brain to think . Dont die while living. Forgive him, draw closer to God and other good relatives, stop discussing his matter sef. am so pissed cos many women are in ds bull shit with cheaters as husbands

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hi. Am in the same situation.we got married just a year and half with an eight months old beautiful baby girl who he claims.mean the whole world to him. He started when we were evengaged less than a year old when I was heavily pregnant. He had the flexible work ever. Always working from home cos he was an IT guy. Then I realists he started deleting whatsapp msg from one particular lady. Heven would nt touch me at night (claimed he was always tired). Then one day I asked him about it and he said it was the lady who was forcing herself on him so he blocked him from what app and all social media connections. I delivered successfully and then another lady sets in. Same history. This time meeting the lady's parents , the lady's mum giving him a cloth etc. Always sending money and gifts to this girl. Anytime I try asking him about it, he pushes it away and doesn't even assure me of his love. Then from no where another lady he has started chatting with. He doesn't seek my opinion anymore. Just makes his decisions. Am so fustarted cos I love this guy more than I even love myself. Before I married him,he told me he didn't have friends n just one best friend who he hardly talk to or visit. didn't even know his direct cousins just a few. Even those who came to his house he didn't know their names. Today,he has uncountable friends n always on his phone chatting n laughing out. Pls advice

    ReplyDelete
  10. Hi. Am in the same situation.we got married just a year and half with an eight months old beautiful baby girl who he claims.mean the whole world to him. He started when we were evengaged less than a year old when I was heavily pregnant. He had the flexible work ever. Always working from home cos he was an IT guy. Then I realists he started deleting whatsapp msg from one particular lady. Heven would nt touch me at night (claimed he was always tired). Then one day I asked him about it and he said it was the lady who was forcing herself on him so he blocked him from what app and all social media connections. I delivered successfully and then another lady sets in. Same history. This time meeting the lady's parents , the lady's mum giving him a cloth etc. Always sending money and gifts to this girl. Anytime I try asking him about it, he pushes it away and doesn't even assure me of his love. Then from no where another lady he has started chatting with. He doesn't seek my opinion anymore. Just makes his decisions. Am so fustarted cos I love this guy more than I even love myself. Before I married him,he told me he didn't have friends n just one best friend who he hardly talk to or visit. didn't even know his direct cousins just a few. Even those who came to his house he didn't know their names. Today,he has uncountable friends n always on his phone chatting n laughing out. Pls advice

    ReplyDelete

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