She Is Five Years Older, Should I Proceed Or Withdraw?

Good morning aunty eya how's your family I have a problem I'd like you to put up on your blog for discussion I am a student and I am in a very serious and comiitted relationship.

 early last I found out this girl was five years older than I am though she doesn't look it!I battled with it for a while and then I let it slide. the issue is I love this girl so much I'd love to marry her after school but till now we have never discussed age together but we re intimate on other issues. something tells me she knows I am younger but she really doesn't Act it and of recent that feeling has come back again,though we have been through thick and thin ve got this feeling that when we officially get to talk about our ages she would leave me so am really troubled.what should I do!

Eya's Reply:
Hi, sorry
about not posting your mail earlier. It's going to be published this morning. I'll search for similar blog posts and reply as a comment.

The issue is not really about HER, leaving you. YOU are not comfortable with the idea of a woman being older than her husband that's why the thoughts keep coming back. You are not one of those few African men who belive that age is just a number. 

From the tone of your mail, being older than your woman is very important to you, there is need to start thinking again about what you truly want in a marriage. Now she doesn't look it but things might change when kids start popping out after marriage. What would you do then? Are you ready to compromise forever?
You didn't tell us how you found out her age since she has not told you.

Comments

  1. Dear Eya,
    kindly find below my request in details.

    Am 32, fair, average body type, 5.7fts, a graduate, an enterpreneuer,
    am fun to be with. Am seeking 4 a humble mature lady between d age of 27
    to 35. Can come from any part of the country, graduate, business orientd
    preferably.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous9/06/2014

      R u for real,lolssssss

      Delete
  2. POSTER9/06/2014

    Oh I saw it on her voters card.though on her school document she reduced it by 2 years but I don't even know which to believe.some months after seeing it I asked her how old she was and she told me the age on her voters card I didn't press further so she doesn't get to ask mine.plus I don't really think am bothered about me yeah I see age as just a number but does she?that's what scares me

    ReplyDelete
  3. PriscoBest9/06/2014

    My advice is, if u really love her forget about her age. if u come to think about it,is to ur own advantage. Their are a lot of celebrities and even commoners out there that are involve ,but they are enjoying their marriages. Somebody like Psquare (Peter) their age d/f is almost 6yrs.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hmmmm if u can get over urself ur mindset,den its no biggy

    ReplyDelete
  5. Johnson9/06/2014

    What are you Proceeding/withdrawing - relationship or marriage plan?
    From the subject and the tone of your post, relationship with an older lady might not be an issue, but marriage... U should be willing and ready to discuss every subject with someone you want to marry. Let her know your age and start the conversation around how both of you feel about it - that will open your eyes!

    ReplyDelete
  6. You two need to talk about it. Some people would be bothered by the age difference and so won't. Men like to be respected (I know that for experience). Will she respect you as head if the household since she is older?
    When she starts having kids, gaining weight and going through stress she may age. It's obviously important to you and the sooner you two have the conversation the better. Everything should be out on the table.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anonymous9/06/2014

    Well il tell you my story. I met my now hubby when I was doing my masters, we went on a trip with the uni and me and him we're put in the same group. When we had a lunch break he asked me to go out for lunch with him so we went nandoo's then during lunch this guy was telling me his life story and me I was thinking why is he telling me all this, but I just listened. So we became really good and close friends. Then eventually we got into a relationship, I told him my age I was 25 I asked him his age he said 27. Fast forward 2months later into our bf n gf relationship he confessed to me he was 2years younger than me. I ended the relationship but he begged me and I was already so inlove with him. Well I asked a lot of questions about his family and we ironed out everything and he confessed to his fam he was the one that lied about his age to me because he knew if I knew his real age from the start he would befriend zoned straight, well we are now married and have a 3week old son x

    ReplyDelete
  8. help a sister get a job fellow blog visitors

    ReplyDelete
  9. My brother age is just a number, don't be an age mentality person, go ahead and marry her if she respects you and has a good character, because truth be told, good girls are hard to come by these days. You will not be the first to take such step and you will certainly not be the last. My gf mum is about 20 years older than the dad but you will never know until you are told because she respects him a lot and has a very rich character.


    Your comment will be visible after approval

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 20 years?
      Is he her first husband?
      She must be the perfect definition of respect, submission, patience and humility.
      I no fit o.

      Delete
    2. Anonymous9/16/2014

      Alloy u r cheating oooo..hmmmm,20yrs ke?neva!!

      Delete
  10. Anonymous9/08/2014

    Chichi beke! Gud advice.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Different strokes for different folks.
    I can't marry someone younger than I am.
    Reasons:
    1: i act older than my age.
    2: I just can't. I know it's my mindset sha.
    There is nothing wrong with it niwez, I have a family friend whose wife is older than the husband. The only problem they have now is because the wife wasn't truthful about the age.
    Sorry to ask o, what sort of relationship are you guys in. First set of questions I ask any guy that shows interest in me include:
    1) Full Name, Age (DOB), Blood group, Genotype and HIV status.
    I can't afford to hear story that tickles later. Anything we have to thrash gats be from day 1.


    Countdown to moi buyday!
    #SeptemberBorn

    ReplyDelete
  12. Be open with her please. All the best

    http://musingsfromabrokenjar.wordpress.com/

    ReplyDelete

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